In The Dark Beside You
by Demolition.Lover.14
Summary: Robyn Johanna Todd, never forget that you are safe, you are loved and you are wanted. There is not one person in our family that would let anything harm you. We love you and we are always with you, even if you can't see us. No matter what, we love you. Especially me. Sequel to A Cold And Broken Hallelujah.
1. So Strange And So Surreal

_**Chapter One  
**__**So Strange And So Surreal**_

_And I heard your voice  
__As clear as day  
__And you told me I should concentrate  
__It was all so strange  
__And so surreal  
__~Only If For A Night, Florence + The Machine_

* * *

_I'm sorry, Robyn. _

My eyes snapped open.

My heart raced uncontrollably as my head pounded, a thin sheet of sweat coating my forehead. I breathed heavily as I wiped it off, mixing with the tears that trickled down my cheeks.

Oh shit.

_Shit. _

"Niamh?"

Frowning, I turned and jumped as I saw Sweeney sitting up.

What the . . . ?

"Are you alright?" he asked softly, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"What happened?" My voice was barely above a whisper.

"You got home from the pub and fell asleep," Sweeney explained softly. "You were exhausted, remember?"

"No . . . "

Running a hand through my hair, I let out a heavy breath.

"Where's Robyn?" I asked suddenly, remembering. Before Sweeney could respond, I scrambled up from my bed and ran across the room to the cot. In it, Robyn was fast asleep.

Relief washed through me as I reached out and gently stroked her hair, smiling as she squirmed. I reached down and gently picked her up, cradling her against my chest.

"What's wrong?" Sweeney asked, also standing up. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. Still hugging Robyn, I leaned against him.

"I had a horrible dream. At least, I think it was a dream." I stared up at him. "What happened when I got back from the pub?"

"You complained that you had a headache, so you put on your pyjamas and fell asleep. You've been asleep for several hours now."

"Asleep . . . we're not dead?"

Sweeney frowned. "I don't think so."

"You haven't been down in the bakehouse?"

"Not since the day you saved me."

"So we didn't argue about the accounts when I came home?"

"No."

"Or Robyn?"

"No." Sweeney frowned. "What's wrong, Niamh?"

"I had the most horrible dream," I explained. "A nightmare. A really awful nightmare."

Kissing her forehead, I gently placed Robyn back in her cot. Straightening up, I wrapped my arms around Sweeney, burying my face into his chest. His arms encircled me, holding me close, and immediately I felt safe.

It was just a dream.

"I love you," I mumbled. "I love you _so _much."

"I love you too," he whispered, kissing my head. "Mrs Todd."

Pulling away, I grinned up at him and then at my hand, where both my engagement and my wedding ring encircled my finger.

"We're married, aren't we?"

"Yes." Sweeney laughed softly.

"Sweeney."

"Yes?"

"I love you," I repeated, standing on my tiptoes to kiss him. He kissed me back, his hands resting on the small of my back. I slid my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

"I love you too," he said when we broke the kiss, both of us breathing heavily.

Smiling, I slid my hand into his and led him to the bed. Lying down, I shuffled as close to him as possible, burying my face into his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

With him there, I knew I wasn't going to have any more nightmares.

* * *

I woke up late the next day, hugging my pillow. Yawning, I rolled over and smiled up at Sweeney, who was sitting up. He had Robyn on his lap.

"Good morning," I said.

"Morning."

My smile grew as Robyn immediately stretched her arms out, reaching for me. Sitting up, I took her from Sweeney and hugged her.

"Hello gorgeous," I murmured. "You're up early."

"You're up late," Sweeney corrected. I looked over at the clock and saw it was half ten, swearing softly.

"Don't ever repeat that word or mummy will kill you," I told Robyn with a wide grin. She grinned back; she had no clear as to what I was saying. "Has she had breakfast?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

Leaning up, I kissed him and grinned.

"So," I said as Robyn squirmed in my arms. I let go, and she immediately began climbing over my legs and Sweeney's. "What do we want to do today?"

"What do you suggest?" Sweeney asked, gazing at Robyn.

"I don't know . . . something fun." Reaching out, I gently brushed hair out of Robyn's face. "Something with Robyn."

"A walk somewhere, perhaps?" Sweeney suggested, holding his hand out to Robyn as she struggled to stand. "The zoo?"

I froze. In my nightmare - I still couldn't believe it was only a _nightmare _- Mum took Robyn to the zoo before I . . .

"Niamh?"

I blinked. "Yeah," I finally said. "Lets take her to the zoo. She'd like that."

"Would you like to invite Theo and Anna?"

I stared up at Sweeney, frowning. "Since when were you all such good friends?"

"We're not, but they are your friends." Sweeney leaned down and kissed me. "And I do find their company enjoyable at times."

I grinned up at him, kissing him again. "Thank you."

We kissed a final time, only to be interupted by Robyn making a fuss, demanding attention. I laughed; already, she was a drama queen.

"I'm going to have a quick wash," I said, untangling myself from the sheets. "Will you dress Robyn?"

"Of course."

I climbed over the end of the bed and, just before opening the door, ran back to kiss Sweeney one last time.

"I love you," I whispered, placing my hand on his cheek as I stared down at him. "I love you _so _much."

His hand covered mine as he gazed up at me, everything else forgotten. All that mattered was Sweeney and I because we were alive and married and in love and a family.

"I love you too."

* * *

I realised that I loved Niamh as a character way too much, and so couldn't leave her story the way it was. I hope that this makes up for deleting the original sequel, and I promise that I will try and stick with this rewrite. Already I have planned out what I hope to be a brilliant plot.


	2. She's Got That Look In Her Eye

_**Chapter Two  
**__**She's Got That Look In Her Eye**_

_I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye  
__She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why  
__~22, Lily Allen_

* * *

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh?"

I stared at Theo, who did not look impressed as he raised an eyebrow, his arms folded across his chest.

"You know what? I'll take that as a no."

"Oh Theo, I'm sorry," I groaned. "I just . . . I didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Too much information!" he cried. I slapped his arm.

"Theo, shut up," I hissed, grinning sheepishly at the people that had begun to stare. "Come on, lets catch Sweeney and Anna up."

Anna was holding Robyn so she would have a good view of the lions while Sweeney stood slightly apart from them, simply staring at the captive animals. I briefly wondered if, for some odd reason, he could relate.

"I had a nightmare," I said as we walked. "A really bad one."

"What about?"

I didn't answer.

"Niamh." Theo stopped, and made me stop with him. "What's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare about Sweeney . . . " I hesitated before continuing. "Well, it was more about Robyn. Sweeney and I . . . died, Theo, and she was all on her own. It was so vivid and I can't get it out of my head."

"Oh Niamh."

Theo wrapped an arm around my shoulders and hugged me as we walked.

"One, you are not going to die. Ever. You're going to be one of those really annoying old couples that live forever."

I laughed.

"And two, if, God forbid, something awful did happen to you and Sweeney, Robyn would not be alone. She'd have Anna and I, not to mention your family. So stop worrying."

"Yes Mum," I said softly, snuggling into him and remembering a time when I fantasised about him being straight.

Once we'd reached Anna, a huge grin spread across my face as I saw Robyn. Reaching out, I took her from my friend and balanced her on my hip.

"Hey you," I said cheerily. "Have you been looking at the big scary lions?"

Robyn laughed and clapped her hands. Also laughing, I kissed the top of her head.

Since my nightmare last night, I hated being seperated from Robyn. I was so scared that something awful would happen.

My grin widened as Sweeney walked over and kissed me, gently stroking Robyn's hair as he gazed down at her with total love and adoration.

How did we come so far?

After everything . . . Sweeney and I were married. We had a daughter. We were a family.

Finally.

"Hey, why don't we go to the petting zoo?" Theo suggested. "I'm sure Robyn would love it."

The petting zoo. A small, indoors enclosure filled with child-friendly animals that were just waiting to be cuddled and stroked.

"Go for it," I said, handing Robyn to Theo, who put her down in her pram. "We'll meet you there."

"Sure. Come on, Anna."

Both smiling brightly, my best friends walked in the direction of the petting zoo. Theo pushed the pram while Anna walked next to him, her arm looped through his, and they looked like the perfect family.

I laughed.

"Is something funny?" Sweeney asked as I weaved my hand into his.

"Not really," I admitted. "It's just my silly imagination."

Sweeney merely looked at me before walking. I, of course, walked with him.

"What?"

He shook his head.

"Sweeney," I moaned. He didn't respond. "I hate it when you do this," I grumbled.

"Do what?"

"_This_!" I threw my arm out. "Look at me in that annoying way you do and then refuse why you looked at me like that."

Pouting, I refused to look at him again after my outburst.

"Niamh."

"I'm not talking to you," I muttered.

Unfortunately, my plan to ignore him didn't work; he simply turned me around and kissed me.

Of course, it immediately made my stomach flutter and my knees turn weak. Because that's what happened when Sweeney kissed me. Or touched me. Or even _looked _at me.

It was incredibly frustrating.

"Why am I in so much damn love with you?" I grumbled.

"I don't know," he said softly, playing with a strand of my hair. "But I am thankful that you are." He tucked the strand behind my ear, kissed me again and gave me that crooked smile of his.

Oh damn.

I always had a thing for the bad boy, and when Sweeney grinned like that, he looked as if he could get away with murder.

Which he already had.

I bit my lip.

Way to ruin the mood, Niamh.

"Hey," I said, realising that Sweeney was still grinning at me. "Lets catch Theo and Anna up, ok? I want to see the animals."

I was more excited by the animals than Robyn was. While she stared at them and occasionally tried to pet them, I was rushing from one exhibit to the other, gushing over the cute animals.

"Aw," I cried when I reached the rabbits. Seeing me, the assistant grinned and picked one up, handing it to me. "_Aw_!"

"It's just an animal," Sweeney muttered, obviously not sharing my love of all things small and fluffy.

"It's not just an animal, it's a fluffy animal that's really cute and has big ears!"

I hugged the rabbit and looked up at Sweeney hopefully, batting my eyelashes.

"No," he said flatly.

"Oh, but _Sweeney_," I whined.

"Niamh, we are not getting a rabbit," he insisted. I pouted.

"But they're so cute."

"No."

When Theo, Anna and Sweeney decided to go, I clung on to the rabbit as if my life depended on it.

"Niamh, come on," Anna moaned.

"Just five more minutes."

"Niamh, if you don't put that rabbit down right now, we are leaving you here," Theo threatened.

"Fine by me."

"We'll take your car."

"What? No way!"

Thrusting the rabbit into the assistant's arms, I jumped up.

"No one drives my car," I said. "No one even _touches _my car without my permission."

"Then lets go," Theo said, rolling his eyes.

Glaring at him, I stormed past him and out of the building.

"You need to wash your hands."

Still glaring at him, I stormed back in and washed my hands at the large sink provided. I then snatched Robyn's buggy from him and stormed out again.

* * *

"I'm going to get something for Robyn," I announced when we walked into the gift shop that was stragetically placed; one would have to walk through it in order to exit the zoo. It was packed with parents and their kids whining for toys.

"Yeah, just Robyn," Anna muttered.

"Anna, are you suggesting that I am going to buy myself something?" I asked.

"No, of course not."

"Good."

Grinning, I walked forwards, carrying Robyn. Anna took the pram and said she'd wait outside for us; Theo volunteered to wait with her.

"What are you planning on getting her?" Sweeney asked as I wandered in the direction of the stuffed toys.

"I don't know," I lied, casually stopping by the toy animals.

Shaking his head, Sweeney walked away while I looked at the toys, trying to choose one for Robyn. In the end, I got her a toy tiger; the moment she got her hands on it, she refused to let go. I also brought Theo a toy meerkat - they reminded him of Gok Wan, apparently - and Anna a toy seal.

Before I paid, I picked up a toy skunk. It would be perfect for Sweeney.

Sweeney was waiting with Theo and Anna when I left the shop, both of whom were delighted with their presents, and already carrying a plastic bag.

"What's in the bag?" I asked as we crossed the car park.

"What's in your bag?" he countered.

I handed it to him. "It's for you."

Opening it, he rolled his eyes at the toy. I knew he liked it secretly.

"Is that for me?" I asked hopefully when we reached the car, putting Robyn in her seat.

"Yes," he reluctantly admitted, handing me the bag.

Feeling like a kid on Christmas, I excitedly opened it and laughed.

It was a toy wombat.

After dropping Anna and Theo off, the car was quiet; Robyn had fallen asleep and neither of us wanted to put the radio on.

"Please don't say that the wombat reminded you of me," I said, breaking the silence. "Because that's the only reason I got you the toy skunk."

"I remind you of a small mammal infamous for the smell it secretes when threatened?"

"No," I laughed. "Your hair used to be black and white. The skunk is black and white. I thought it would make you laugh."

"Oh."

"So, the wombat. Explain."

"It was the only one on the shelf," Sweeney told me. "I knew that if you saw it, you'd take pity and buy it, so I saved you the trouble."

"You know me so well," I teased. I paused. "Thank you for today. It's been amazing."

I pulled up at the shop and cut the engine.

"Yes," Sweeney agreed. "It has."

Grinning, I leaned forwards and kissed him.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Comfortably Plump, babyvfan and ToddLover13 for reviewing.


	3. Bury The Castle, Bury The Castle

_**Chapter Three  
**__**Bury The Castle, Bury The Castle**_

_Well go get your shovel  
__And we'll dig a deep hole  
__To bury the castle, bury the castle  
__~Brick By Boring Brick, Paramore_

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for houses," I explained.

I was in the office on my laptop, doing exactly what I told Sweeney I was. He was holding Robyn, bouncing her up and down as she fussed in his arms.

"Oh."

Pushing myself back on my awesome chair with wheels, I took Robyn for him and cuddled her.

"Look at this one."

I stood up and let Sweeney take my place on the computer chair. As he sat down, I spoke.

"It's still in London, so we won't be moving too far, and it has three bedrooms." I pointed at a photo. "And look, it has an amazing back garden. It'll be really good for when Robyn begins walking."

Sweeney made a noise of agreement.

"I think that after a couple of weeks, we'd have it all nice and home-like. What do you think?"

"It's . . . different."

Robyn let out a wild noise, so I put her down on in her playpen and handed her a toy. She snatched it from me, amusing herself.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Do you not like it?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you implied it, which is worse."

"Niamh."

"If you don't like it just say, Sweeney, because I'll have to look for another house," I snapped impatiently.

Sweeney stood up and placed his hands either side of my face, forcing me to look up at him. I glared.

"Well?" I demanded.

"There is nothing wrong with it," he said softly.

"So I can arrange a viewing?"

"Of course."

A wide grin spread across my face as I leaned up and kissed him. Pulling away, I threw myself onto the computer chair and immediately contacted the estate agent.

Then I realised.

I slowly turned in my seat, frowning.

"You don't really want to move, do you?"

Sweeney was silent as he stod in front of the window, glaring at the rooftops. I stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "You think being a mum would sort out my sensitivity."

He wrapped his arms around me. "I understand why you want to move, and I agree with you."

"But this is your home," I mumbled. I sighed. "Maybe we could leave it for a bit . . . "

"No. Robyn will need her own room soon."

"So, should I arrange a viewing?"

"Definately."

* * *

"I'll leave you to have a chat," Sally-Anne, the estate agent, said cheerfully as she left Sweeney and I in the master bedroom.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

"It's nice."

I laughed. "Don't sound too enthusiastic."

"It's certainly different from the shop."

"It's less gloomy than the shop."

"The shop is not gloomy," Sweeney scorned.

"It is."

I circled the room, spinning around as I gazed at the walls surrounding us. The window had a perfect view of the back garden, as did the bedroom we'd give to Robyn.

"I love it," I decided firmly.

"If you feel so strongly, then I suggest that we put an offer down."

I spun around to face Sweeney. "Are you being serious?"

He nodded.

Letting out a squeal, I ran across the room and threw myself on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him enthusiastically. Amazingly, he barely moved at the sudden impact.

"I love you," I said, kissing him again. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

Already, I could imagine this being our family home.

I could imagine Sweeney and I waking up in the morning together, having a morning cuddle as the light streamed in despite the curtains. Our room would be light and pretty, with photos covering the walls, and I'd have a dressing table with a stool, covered in my make up.

I could imagine me sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of Robyn's nursery, singing her to sleep as Sweeney prepared her cot

I could imagine the three of us in the kitchen; I'd be cooking dinner while telling Sweeney about my day. Robyn would be in her high chair and Sweeney would be feeding her.

I could imagine Sweeney and I cuddling in the living room, watching one of those ridiculous soap operas that he so despised, with Robyn fast asleep upstairs.

But most of all, I could imagine us in the back garden, surrounded by family and friends. It would be summer and we'd be having a barbeque. The adults would be drinking Pimms while the children drunk fizzy. There would be music and talking and laughing. It would be the picture of a perfect family.

Because that's what we were, really.

Sweeney, Robyn and I.

A perfect family.

I described my imaginings to Sweeney when we drove home, and he listened patiently, not once speaking. I glanced his way and saw that he had a small smile on his face.

"I wonder if anyone has responded to the advert yet," I mused casually, distracted from my imagined scenarios of our life.

"What advert?"

"The advert for us selling the shop."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, I'm not going to sell it to just anyone. I'm going to put them through an incredibly difficult interview."

Sweeney raised an eyebrow at me. I grinned sheepishly.

"Well, I'm going to try. Like I said, I'm not going to sell it to anyone."

I cut the engine as I pulled up outside the flats.

"Come on," I said. "Lets go tell our daughter and my friends about our brilliant new home."

Theo wrenched the door open the moment I knocked. "Well?" he demanded.

"Hello Theo, it's nice to see you too. How was Robyn?" I brushed past him, pulling Sweeney with me.

"Niamh."

"Theo."

He raised an eyebrow. "For God's sake, Niamh, stop tormenting us! What was the house like?"

A wide grin spread across my face. "We've put an offer on it."

Needless to say, Theo and Anna were pleased.

* * *

"Hey Niamh," Sophia said cheerfully. Sweeney walked past her, taking Robyn upstairs.

Sophia no longer had a crush on Sweeney, but he still refused to stay in the same room as her. She didn't take it personally.

"Hi Sophia." I grinned. "How was it?"

"Oh, it wasn't that bad." Sophia had long dropped the habit of talking like a chav, thankfully. "Harry had to leave because there was a family emergency, but I handled things."

"Great, thank you so much. Remind me to give you a bonus when you get your wages."

"Aw, thanks Niamh. By the way, there's someone to see you."

"Who?" I frowned, looking around.

Immediately, a woman, not much older than myself, stood up. She was slightly plumper than me, with large breasts and curves to die for, and she grinned at me.

"'ello, love," she said, a strong cockney accent in her voice.

"Oh, hello. You're here to see me?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm 'ere about buying this place."

"Really? Wow, that's great!" I grinned, and then blushed. "Sorry, it's just that you're the first person I've seen since I put the advert up. Hi, I'm Niamh." I held my hand out.

She shook it, her curls bouncing as she did so enthusiastically.

"Pleasure to meet you, love. I'm Nellie, Nellie Lovett."

* * *

Thank you Comfortably Plump, CadyD and babyvfan for reviewing!


	4. You're Not In This Alone

_**Chapter Four  
**__**You're Not In This Alone**_

_You're not in this alone  
__Let me break this awkward silence  
__Let me go, go on record  
__Be the first to say I'm sorry  
__Hear me out, _

_And if you take me down  
__Or would you lay me out  
__And if the world needs something better  
__Let's give them one more reason now, now, now  
__~Skylines And Turnstiles, My Chemical Romance_

* * *

I stared at her.

What?

_How_?

"Nellie Lovett," I repeated, my throat dry.

"That's me, love." she frowned at me, puzzled. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine but . . . " my voice trailed off as I continued to stare at her, frowning.

"But?" she prompted.

"But I don't think we should start without my husband," I said quickly. "This is his home too, so . . . "

"Oh, of course."

"I'll go get him. Please, take a seat. Sophia will take your order."

"Alright, ta love."

I forced a grin out. "No problem."

I walked upstairs, resisting the urge to run as fast as I could into Sweeney's arms when I saw him. I must've looked pale, because he immediately frowned and placed his hands on my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" he demanded.

"I . . . I think you need to come downstairs," I choked out.

"Why?"

"There's someone here to talk about buying the shop but . . . " I ran a hand through my hair. "Oh God," I said shakily.

"Niamh?"

"You are not going to believe this, but she says that her name is _Nellie Lovett._"

Sweeney's reaction was immediate.

He lunged forwards, and it took all my strength to restrain him.

"Let go," he growled darkly.

"No, not until you hear me out."

Sweeney glared at me, but then spun around and stormed into the living room. I shut the door.

"Sweeney, please, I know that this will be hard but we have to act _normal_," I begged.

"How can I act normal when that murdering witch is downstairs?" Sweeney hissed. "I don't want her anywhere near you or Robyn."

I was touched by his protectiveness, but kinda pissed off as well.

"Look, we need someone to buy this shop and if that means having to get along with her, then so be it. So bloody grow a pair and put on a brave face."

Sweeney was silent, but he was giving me a dark look.

"I'm going to get Robyn and we can downstairs together, ok?"

Without waiting for a response, I spun around and marched off, collecting Robyn from the bedroom. Sweeney was waiting for me at the top of the stairs, looking furious.

I weaved my hand into his.

"Look happy," I said.

"What?"

"Look happy. It'll piss her off."

He stared at me for a moment, but Sweeney obliged by looking as happy as he could, which wasn't very.

Oh well, worth a try.

"Sorry about the wait," I said cheerily as we walked into the shop. "Robyn was being a little fusspot, weren't you darling?" the last part I directed at Robyn, who seemed pretty content balanced on my hip.

Nellie's eyes darted from me to Sweeney, wide as her mouth fell open.

After a moment, she composed herself and extended her hand.

"Long time no see," she said to Sweeney. "Love."

"Not long enough," Sweeney muttered, ignoring her extended hand and walking past her. He took a seat by the window, and I quickly sat next to him. Pursing her lips together, Nellie sat opposite us.

"So," I began. "For what reason do you want to buy the shop?"

"Well, I've been in charge of my own business before."

"One that promotes cannibalism," Sweeney muttered. I glared at him warningly.

"And this place just 'appens to remind me of my old shop," Nellie continued as if Sweeney hadn't spoken.

"It _is _your old shop."

"Sweeney, please," I murmured.

"It's a nice establishment you're running 'ere, love." Nellie looked around. "Nice and 'omely."

"It is our home actually, but thank you."

"But would you object to me making changes to it?" she asked.

"C-changes?" I hesitated before asking, "What _sort _of changes?"

"Well, the name for starters. I can't run a shop with another woman's name on it." Nellie frowned. "It _is _your name, ain't it?"

"My maiden name, actually," I corrected. "But I couldn't bring myself to change it after Sweeney and I married."

"Oh. 'ow long 'ave you two been married."

Sweeney's hand curled over mine. "Since September."

Nellie's lips tightened as she glared at our now intertwined hands. "'ow nice."

"Yes, well." my grip on Sweeney's hand tightened as I spoke. "I suppose changing the name wouldn't be that much of a problem. It would be _your _shop, after all."

"Yes, it would be."

"How do we know that you won't run the business into the ground?" Sweeney asked. "We can't sell it to just anyone."

"Come off it, Mr T, you know 'ow I run a business." Nellie's lips tilted into a smirk. "You know about _all _my talents."

Immediately, something flared up inside me.

My stomach twisted uncomfortably as irrational anger rose; I had to supress the urge to stand up and slap the stupid smirk of the woman's face. Sweeney apparently understood my anger, as he gently squeezed my hand.

"Of course I do," Sweeney said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

My anger only increased, so I turned and looked over my shoulder at Sophia.

"Hey, Sophia, could we have some drinks please?"

"Sure. What would you like?"

Nellie already had a drink, and Sweeney didn't want one, so I ordered a large mug of coffee. It took Sophia only a few minutes, and soon the comforting smell of hot coffee joined us at the table.

"Could you take Robyn?" I asked Sweeney, who obliged. Robyn was pretty content on his lap, playing with his hands and rings. Nellie smiled at her fondly.

"She's beautiful, love," she complimented. "She looks like 'er father."

"She has Niamh's eyes," Sweeney said.

"She has your temper," I said, laughing. His lips twitched into a small smile as we remembered the many temper tantrums Robyn had thrown; she may have been small, but she could make a hell of a lot of noise.

We exchanged a quick kiss, which was interupted by Robyn climbing up Sweeney's chest, desperate for attention. I laughed and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Do you have any children, Nellie?" I asked casually.

"No love." she sighed. "Wanted to, but never found the right man, y'know?"

I noticed her eyes were fixed on Sweeney as she said this.

"I did know, but now I've found the perfect man," I said, smirking.

"Obviously. Now, what's the verdict?" she asked. "Am I a suitable candidate?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out as I struggled to comprehend her question. Thankfully, Sweeney spoke for me.

"We'll be in contact."

Nellie smirked. "Brilliant. I 'ope to 'ear from you soon."

We shook hands and I showed her to the door. Sweeney stood behind me, still holding Robyn.

"Bye," I said, forcing out a smile.

"Bye love." Nellie's eyes rested on Sweeney. "See you soon, Mr T."

Without another word, she flicked her curls over her shoulder and sashayed down the road, swinging her hips.

She was confident.

She was beautiful.

She was sexy.

And I hated her more and more with each step she took.

* * *

Thank you Phantom of the Common Room, Comfortably Plump, babyvfan, CadyD and Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle for reviewing!

Ooh, a bit of tension and rivalry between Nellie and Niamh . . . this could get interesting.


	5. Life Goes Easy On Me

_**Chapter Five  
**__**Life Goes Easy On Me**_

_And so it is  
__Just like you said it would be  
__Life goes easy on me  
__Most of the time  
~The Blowers Daughter, Damien Rice_

* * *

We'll be fine, I'd insisted when Nellie left. Just forget her. Life goes on, right?

Wrong.

"Are you sure you'll be ok today?" I asked as I dried my damp hair.

"Of course," Sweeney said, watching me.

"You don't mind me taking Robyn?"

"Should I?"

I looked over my shoulder and grinned at him, turning my hairdryer off. "No, but you can if you like."

"I don't."

It had been two days since we saw Nellie, and still no one else had stepped forwards to put an offer on the shop. Her offer, however, was more than we expected; she _really _wanted the shop back.

Still, it pissed Sweeney off and I was on the recieving end of it.

I hated that woman so much.

"It's just that everyone has been begging me to bring her," I continued, now brushing my hair. "Especially Helena. She can't get over how big Robyn is now."

Sweeney didn't respond.

"And David wants to get used to handling small children. I can't believe he's actually settled down with Mia. It's amazing."

Sweeney's jaw tightened at the mention of David's name, but I chose to ignore him. He still disliked David, but I couldn't care less because we were now really close friends.

I had to stop talking for a moment as I held several hairpins in my mouth, using both hands to pull my hair back into a messy bun.

"I'm not actually sure as to how long I'm going to be. It's just auditions, I think, but maybe Tim will have just skipped that part. Again."

Tim had told me about the new production, _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_, and insisted that I had to go to the studio.

I only agreed because of my undying love for the Disney adaption of it. I quite fancied the role of Esmerelda, actually . . .

My hair tied back, I then began applying make up.

"But if I'm home late, I'll pick something up on the way home. Take away ok with you?"

Sweeney nodded.

"I don't know about you, but I actually kinda fancy Chinese. Lots of it."

Finishing my make up, I then picked up the heart necklace Sweeney gave to me at Christmas and held it out to him.

"Can you put it on for me, please?"

He hesitated for a moment before standing up and obliging, his cold fingers brushing against the back of my neck and sending shivers down my spine.

A smile played on my lips as he gently kissed my cheek after fastening the clasp of the necklace.

I turned around and gazed up at him. "Are we ok?" I asked softly.

Sweeney's lips twitched into a half smile. "Of course."

Standing up, I kissed him and then checked the time. I was late.

"Shit!" I cried, grabbing my bag and jumper. "I'll see you later." I kissed him again. "I'll call you." Another kiss. "I love you more than anything in the whole world." I kissed him a third time and then picked Robyn up from the bed, where she had been sitting with Sweeney.

"Bye!" I called, rushing out of the bedroom and downstairs.

* * *

I wasn't as late as I expected to be, but spent several minutes in the car park sliding Robyn into her buggy. She was reluctant and put up a fight, but eventually went in.

When I opened the door to the studio, there were already the usual crew there. Helena saw me first and grinned, crossing the room.

"Hello darling," she greeted me lovingly. "How are you?"

"A bit flustered. Where's Tim?" I'd noticed an absence of shouting and erratic orders.

"Kitchen."

"Great. I'm going to get a cup of coffee. Can you take Robyn please?"

"I would love to." Helena beamed down at Robyn.

"If she gets restless, just take her out and put her on the floor or something. She likes to fidget."

As Helena took the buggy, I walked to the kitchen. As promised, Tim was leaning against the counter, a notebook in hand as the kettle boiled.

"You're late," he said, not even looking up. I grinned and jumped up, sitting on the counter opposite him.

"I know."

"No excuses?"

"You've heard them all." I shrugged. "What are you doing?"

"None of your business." Tim snapped the notebook shut. "Coffee?"

"You know so well."

"Too well," he muttered, taking two large mugs out.

When our coffee was ready, we took our mugs into the studio. Helena and several other of the members were fussing over Robyn, who was loving the attention, so Tim had to be especially loud to get their attention.

Having finally caught everyone's attention, Tim told us what we were going to do.

"Now, you all know how auditions go," he said, standing up on the stage. "I call your name and you go on stage. No arguing or whining, or you're out."

I smiled to myself, sipping my coffee and extending my hand as Robyn reached out for me. Her hand curled around my fingers.

"Niamh, you're up," Tim announced. Rolling my eyes, I put my coffee down, gave my music to the band and got up on stage.

Helena nodded at me to let me know that the band was ready, so I turned my microphone on and began to sing.

"_Now I'm in town, break it down, thinking of making a new sound_," I sung, holding onto the microphone stand with closed eyes. "_Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd. That's you now, ciao, seems that life is great now. See me lose focus, as I sing to you loud_."

A wide grin spread across my face as my confidence grew.

"_And I can't, no, I won't hush. I'll say the words that make you blush. I'm gonna sing this now_."

The audience was silent; they were listening intently to me singing.

"_See, I'm true, my songs are where my heart is. I'm like glue, I stick to other artists. I'm not you, now that would be disastrous. Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures_." I opened my eyes and my grin widened.

"_See, I'm real, I do it all, it's all me. I'm not fake, don't ever call me lazy. I won't stay put, give me the chance to be free. Suffolk sadly seems to sort of suffocate me_."

I took the microphone off the stand, holding it one hand as I stretched my arm out, holding the stand away from me.

_"'Cause you need me, man, I don't need you. You need me, man, I don't need you. You need me, man, I don't need you at all. You need me, man, I don't need you_."

I repeated the chorus for a second time, putting the microphone stand down as I walked forwards.

"_I sing and write my own tune and I write my own verse. Hell, don't need another word-smith to make my tune sell? Call yourself a singer-writer - you're just bluffing. Your name's on the credits and you didn't write nothing_."

The others were grinning, and even Robyn looked happy as she stared up at me. Maybe she was just responding to my own happiness.

"_I sing fast, I know that all my shit's cool. I will blast and I didn't go to Brit School. I came fast with the way I act, right. I can't last if I'm smoking on a crack pipe_."

The door opened at the end of the studio, but I paid it no attention as I walked the length of the stage.

"_And I won't be a product of my genre. My mind will always be stronger than my songs are. Never believe the bullshit that fake guys feed to ya. Always read the stories that you hear on Wikipedia_."

My voice faltered slightly as I looked up.

Nellie.

She was watching me as she walked forwards, her eyebrows quirked upwards in amusement.

"_And musically I'm demonstrating. When I perform live, feels like I am meditating. Times at the Enterprise when some fella filmed me. 'A young singer-writer like Gabriella Cilmi'." _

I repeated the chorus twice, trying hard to ignore Nellie as I bobbed in time to the music, nodding my head.

Even with her there, I didn't feel like a fool; the stage was my second home.

Taking in a deep breath, I prepared myself for the incredibly long, fast rap.

"_Cause with the lyrics I'll be aiming it right. I won't stop till my name's in lights. At stadium heights with Damien Rice. On red carpets, now I'm on Arabian Nights_." I grinned. "_Because I'm young and all my brothers gonna give me advice. Long nighter, short height and I gone hyper. Never be anything but a singer-songwriter. The game's over but now I'm on a new level_."

I began crossing the stage again, still rapping.

"_Watch how I step on the track without a loop pedal. People think that I'm bound to blow up. I've done around about a thousand shows. But I haven't got a house plus I live on the couch. So you can be the lyrics when I'm singing them out_."

My eyes met Nellie's, and I grinned at her.

Here I was, young and - I don't mean to sound vain, but it's true - talented.

There she was, old and desperate for a shop. My shop.

Ha.

"_From day one, I've been prepared. With vo5 wax for my ginger hair_."

Several people laughed as I flicked my own ginger hair over my shoulder.

"_So now I'm back to the sofa, giving a dose of what the future holds. Cause it's another day_," I continued. "_Plus I'll keep my last name forever keep the genre pretty basic. Gonna be breaking into other people's tunes when I chase it. And replace it with the elephant in the room with a facelift_."

Nellie had now taken a seat, unnoticed by anyone, and I turned my gaze on Helena. She grinned at me encouragingly.

"_Into another rappers shoes using new laces. Selling CD's from my rucksack aiming for the papers. Selling CD's from my rucksack aiming for the majors. Nationwide til' we're just jack, soon as I get the bus back_."

Walking back to the microphone stand, I put the microphone down and continued rapping.

"_Clean cut kid without a razor for the mustache. I hit back when the pen hurts me. I'm still a choir boy in a Fenchurch tee. I'm still the same as a year ago. But more people hear me though_."

I loved this song, purely because I could relate to it.

"_According to the MySpace and YouTube videos. I'm always doing shows if I'm not I'm in the studio. Truly broke, never growing up call me Ruffio_."

And Ed Sheeran was one of the hottest gingers in the world.

"_Melody music maker. Reading all the papers. They say I'm up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator_," I finished, smirking in triumph. I then went on to the chorus, repeating it twice before finishing with a bold statement of, "_You need me, man, I don't need you_."

Bowing to my applauding audience, I stepped off the stage and took Robyn, seating her on my lap. I ignored Nellie until she approached me.

"'ello again, love."

"Oh, hello," I said as David took the stage. I picked up my mug of coffee, but it was cold. Grimacing, I went to the kitchen. Nellie followed.

"I didn't know you were an actress as well," she said conversationally. I poured the cold drink down the sink and began making myself another one, balancing Robyn on one hip.

"Yep. Sing, dance and act, I do. Have done since I was little."

"Well, that makes sense."

I slammed my mug down on the counter. "What does?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Well, Sweeney 'as always 'ad a thing for dramatic women."

I chose to ignore that statement and asked, "So, what are you doing here?"

"I'm 'ere about volunteering when the show starts. I've always been interested in things like this."

"Of course you have," I muttered bitterly, brushing past her.

"Don't you want your coffee, love?"

"Not anymore."

I told Tim I was leaving and put Robyn back in her buggy. As I sat down in the front seat of the car, tears sprung to my eyes.

Life couldn't go on. Not while Nellie was around.

* * *

Thank you Phantom of the Common Room, Comfortably Plump, babyvfan, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and CadyD for reviewing.

The song Niamh sings for her audition is You Need Me, I Don't Need You by Ed Sheeran.

Speaking of Ed Sheeran, has anyone heard Wake Me Up? I've been listening to it a lot lately, and I think it really screams Sweeney/Niamh's relationship. Listen to it/look it up!


	6. Somewhere That's Green

_**Chapter Six  
Somewhere That's Green**_

_A matchbox of our own  
A fence of real chain link,  
A grill out on the patio  
Disposal in the sink  
A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine  
In a tract house that we share  
Somewhere that's green.  
~Somewhere That's Green, Little Shop Of Horrors_

* * *

Our home was so empty.

I wandered from room to room silently, frowning at the now empty spaces and remembering all the good times I'd had in each one.

I hated saying goodbye. Even to homes.

Walking into the bedroom, I leant against the windowsill and looked around.

I had so many memories in this room.

It was the first room I properly decorated when I first moved in, desperate to make it a proper bedroom.

It was the room in which I properly discovered my feelings for Sweeney.

It was the room I fell asleep in Sweeney's arms.

A wide smile spread across my face as I remembered that night.

My favourite memory, however, had to be the night we named Robyn.

Looking up, I saw that Sweeney was lingering in the doorway, holding Robyn. I smiled at him.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hello."

"It's weird," I mumbled. "Leaving this place."

"I suppose I can sympathise, but it is hard to have an emotional attachment to your place of death," Sweeney said loftily. I flinched.

"Don't say that."

He frowned, but then realised. Walking forwards, he placed his hand under my chin and lifted my head.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

It wasn't an apology, but it was the closest I'd ever get from Sweeney, and that's why I forgave him.

His lips twisting into that arrogant half smirk of his that made me go weak at the knees and frustrated me, Sweeney gently kissed me.

We broke apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

I glared at Nellie.

"Sorry to interupt," she said, though she didn't _look _very sorry. "But Theo asked me to tell you that they're waiting."

"Right. Thanks," I said stiffly.

"'e's very good looking, ain't 'e?" Nellie continued, apparently ignoring the fact that Sweeney and I needed a few minutes alone. "That Theo."

"Yeah, and gay."

"Mrs Lovett, my wife and I would appreciate it if you were to leave us alone," Sweeney told her, barely even looking her way.

Glaring at me and letting out a heavy sigh, Nellie flounced off. I giggled.

"Thank you."

Sweeney kissed me. "It was not just for your benefit."

* * *

"Sweeney."

"Yes?"

"This is it."

We sat in the car together, gazing at our new house. Robyn had dozed off on the journey, and the car was silent.

I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

"Wow," I breathed out, laughing shakily.

"Oi," Theo called as he walked out of the house. "Get your ass out here, Niamh. We're not doing this for you."

"N'aw, that's a damn shame," I drawled as I climbed out of the car. Theo rolled his eyes at my Texas accent.

"You're such an idiot," he muttered, thrusting a box into my arms and walking past.

"Yeah, I love you too, gay boy!" I called after him. Anna laughed. "Hey, Anna, you couldn't look after Robyn for a bit? Just push her around in her buggy."

"I'd love to." Anna beamed at me; she loved Robyn to pieces.

We took looking after Robyn in turns while the remaining three unloaded furniture and boxes. Sweeney and I handled the heavy things because, no matter how hard he tried, Theo could hardly lift the boxes.

"You really need to work out," I told him, having just taken the sofa into the living room with Sweeney.

"Why?" he asked. "You're butch enough for the both of us."

I laughed, flexing my muscles. "Hell yeah. Have you seen these babies?"

Theo also laughed, rolling his eyes as he passed me.

"Hey Anna, I'll take over looking after Robyn," I said; Robyn was beginning to fuss.

"Sure."

While Anna helped Theo with the bags, I took Robyn out from her buggy and walked about with her. She was easily appeased, gazing at her new surroundings with fascination.

"This is our new home, Robyn," I whispered in her ear. "Me, you and daddy are going to live here together and we're all going to be very happy."

Especially since Nellie would no longer be there.

A wide smile spread across my face at this thought.

Sweeney frowned at me as he walked out, and my smile widened even more.

"I'm happy," I said.

"So I see," he muttered, picking up the last box.

"Hey Niamh," Anna called from the doorway. "I think we're all done."

"Great!" I grinned down at Robyn. "Do you hear that, darling? We've officially moved into our new home."

"Yes, all we need to do now is endure endless weeks of unpacking boxes and decorating the house," Sweeney said bitterly. I laughed, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

"Yep. Isn't it great?"

Sweeney didn't look as if he agreed.

Following Sweeney inside, I saw that Theo had collapsed into an armchair. Laughing, I followed suit and sat down on the sofa, Robyn sitting on my lap.

"I am officially exhausted," he complained. I rolled my eyes.

"Try looking after a baby all day, every day," I said. "Then you will know what exhaustion is."

Theo rolled his eyes. I threw a cushion at him.

"I'm hungry," I whined when Sweeney walked into the living room. Anna, who sat down next to me, nodded in agreement.

"There's a chippy around the corner," Theo said.

"Sweeney, you know you love me?" I batted my eyelashes at my husband. He rolled his eyes.

"I'll go."

"Theo can go with you," I said. "Keep you company."

"What?" Theo demanded.

"Sorry Theo, it's been decided. You must go," Anna said, shrugging.

Grumbling, Theo reluctantly went with Sweeney to the chippy while Anna and I lounged about with glasses of wine.

"This is the life." I sighed contently.

Anna laughed and nodded in agreement. "You're happy, then?"

"In so many ways, yes."

And I was.

Sweeney and I had a proper home. One we had to ourselves with our daughter that we could come to at the end of the day.

We were finally a proper, normal family.

Smiling to myself, I hugged Robyn to my chest and kissed the top of her head.

Little did I know that from this day on, things would only get more complicated.

* * *

Thank you Comfortably Plump, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Phantom of the Common Room, babyvfan, CadyD and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing!

I'm not sure, but I think my updating may get a little hetic after this weekend due to my exams starting next week. My first one is my drama exam on Tuesday, in which myself and my group have to show a timed piece to an external examiner. Not looking forwards to it!

Hope you've all enjoyed the chapter though!


	7. Happiness Hit Her

_**Chapter Seven  
Happiness Hit Her**_

_Happiness hit her like a train on a track  
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back_

_. . . _

_The dog days are over  
The dog days are done  
The horses are coming  
So you better run  
~Dog Days Are Over, Florence + The Machine_

* * *

"Niamh, get to the studio _now,_" David said urgently. I frowned.

"Why?"

"Because the cast list is up and you're on it!"

I grinned. The phone was pressed to my ear with my shoulder as I sat opposite Robyn, trying to feed her. She, however, was adamant that she didn't want her breakfast.

"That's great, but I'm going to be a bit late," I said. "God dammit, Robyn, eat the frickin' thing!"

David laughed. "One of the many joys of parenting, huh?"

"Yeah, you have this to look forwards to." I let out a heavy sigh as Robyn pushed the spoon away. "Fine. If you wanna starve for the rest of the morning . . . "

Sweeney, who I hadn't realised was behind me, took the spoon from me. I smiled up at him gratefully as I jumped out of the seat. He took my place.

"Thank you," I mouthed. He simply nodded.

"Ok, change of plan, I'll be down as soon as I can. One question."

"Shoot, babe."

"David . . . " I groaned.

"Sorry."

"Am I Esmerelda?" I asked hopefully. I found a copy of _The Hunchback of Notre Dame _- the Disney version, of course - on DVD and watched it repeatedly. The more I watched it, the more I wanted the part of Esmerelda. She was bright, spunky and sung the best song _ever._

"You'll have to come and find out. Hurry up."

"Tell Tim I'll be as quick as possible and to not get his knickers in a twist."

David laughed. "Yeah, as if that'll work. Hurry up or risk a world of pain in which you are not familiar."

"I've known Tim for way too long to be scared of him, David. Nothing he can do with get to me."

"He's threatening to put you in the chorus."

"He wouldn't dare." I laughed. "Believe me, he wouldn't dare."

"Alright." David was also laughing. "I'll see you soon, gorgeous."

"Bye David." I rolled my eyes at the use of 'gorgeous', but I'd long learned it didn't mean anything. Not anymore.

He was with Mia, and I was with Sweeney.

We were happy.

Upstairs, I brushed my hair and tied it back into a ponytail, noting how long it had gotten recently. I got dressed in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and an oversized vest top; clothes I could move about in easily and not get hot.

Pulling on my jacket and shoes, I bounded back downstairs.

"I've got to go," I told Sweeney, kissing his cheek. "You can come down at lunchtime though, if you like. Bring Robyn, of course."

"Of course."

I kissed him again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

_The Hunchback of Notre Dame cast list:_

_Quasimodo: David_

_Esmerelda: Kat_

_Judge Claude Frollo: George_

_Captain Phoebus: Micheal_

_Gargoyles: Charles, Jason, Mary_

_Clopin: Niamh_

I stared at the list.

And stared.

And stared a bit more.

_Clopin: Niamh_

Me.

Clopin.

I knew him from the film; he was the gypsy narrator that had a fun loving side and a sadistic, I'm-going-to-hang-you-without-any-evidence side. He wore bright clothes, danced like there was no tomorrow and had the best songs ever.

And that was me.

"Niamh, breathe," David said gently, shaking me.

I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding and grinned like a total idiot.

"Wow," I muttered.

Nothing could get me down now. Not even Nellie, who was sitting with a mug of coffee and pretending that she wasn't watching me when I knew that she was.

"Wow!" I repeated, spinning around. "David, this is amazing!"

"I know right. Yet another main role - "

"Not you," I interupted. "But well done. Oh my God, I'm so happy!"

Laughing from pure joy, I flung my arms around David and hugged him tight. Also laughing, he picked me up and spun me around. Setting me down on my feet, he kissed my cheek.

"Well done," he said. "I'm proud of you."

"You've seen the list, then," Tim said as he joined us, holding two large mugs of - my grin widened - coffee.

"If you weren't holding those hot drinks, I would kiss you," I told him solemnly. Tim grimaced.

"Take the drink and get your script."

Laughing, I took the offered mug from him and, as I passed, quickly kissed him on the cheek. He batted me away, grumbling under his breath, but his lips twitched into a small smile.

Sipping my drink, I leant against the stage and flicked through the script.

"Congratulations," an annoyingly familiar voice said. Looking up, I smiled at Nellie.

"Thanks."

"I couldn't 'elp but notice you and David just now." Yeah, right. "You seem pretty close."

"Yeah, I guess we are."

"Does Sweeney know?"

Looking up, I stared at her with a raised eyebrow. "What's _that _supposed to mean?" I asked icily.

"I just want to know that you ain't messing 'im about."

"Not that it's any of your business, but David is one of my closest friends and though he may not like him, Sweeney knows that I would never do anything with him." I snapped my script shut. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to Kat."

Nellie smirked an infuriating smirk as I stormed past her, and I resisted the urge to turn around and thump her.

Instead, I acted like the bigger woman and kept walking. I congratulated Kat, joked around with George and bantered with Tim.

The whole time, Nellie was smirking.

* * *

I was relieved to see Sweeney walk in when Tim announced our lunch break. He had a bag in one hand and carried Robyn with the other.

Grinning, I jumped down from the stage and met him halfway, standing on my tip toes to kiss him.

"Hey."

"Hello," he said softly.

"Are you staying for lunch?"

He nodded. My grin widened as I took Robyn from him and weaved my hand into his; we sat at a table together.

"Did you get my text?" I asked eagerly before taking a bite out of my hot sausage in a baguette.

"Yes. Congratulations."

"Thanks. I can't believe it. I'm actually so happy."

"I gathered as much from the use of capital letters and exclamation marks," Sweeney commented dryly, his eyes on Robyn. I frowned. He looked up and gave me my favourite half smile; he was mocking me.

"I hate it when you take the piss," I grumbled, but not seriously.

"Please accept my most humble apologies," he teased softly.

"I suppose your apology is accepted." I leant forwards. "Now you must seal it with a kiss."

His half smile grew slightly as he obliged, his hand lingering on my cheek. I leant into it, loving the way his skin felt against mine.

"Oh, 'ello again Mr T. I wasn't expecting to see you again so soon."

I gritted my teeth at the sound of _her _voice, glaring at her.

"I am here to enjoy lunch with my wife and daughter," Sweeney replied in a dangerously low, calm voice. "May I do so, Mrs Lovett?''

Mrs Lovett looked slightly flustered, as if she wasn't used to Sweeney's dry remarks. "Of course. I was just 'ere to say 'ello."

"And now you have done so, you have no obligation to stay."

"Bye," I said, grinning up at her. Nellie shot me a dirty look and flounced off.

Sweeney stayed after we'd finished our lunch, despite me pointing out that he had no obligations to, and watched me with a raised eyebrow as I scampered around the stage, larking about with the others. By the time we got to the second act, Tim had had enough and sent us home.

"Have you got any plans for tonight?" I asked as Sweeney and I crossed the car park.

"I plan to spend the evening with my wife," he answered softly.

"What a lucky woman."

I spoke about nothing else than the production on the way home, and if Sweeney was sick of it, he did a very good job of hiding it. For that, I was grateful.

"I love you," I said as we rounded the corner that led to our home.

"I love you too," Sweeney answered, but looked confused.

"No matter what happens, I love you."

"I can assure you that I feel the same way."

As we neared the house, I saw two figures outside; a boy and a girl.

They both stood up as I cut the engine and climbed out of the car. The boy had a lean build, with sandy hair that fell to his shoulders and a pale face. The girl, a petite blonde with a doll like face, clung to his arm, hiding behind him.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"M-Mr Todd," the boy stammered as Sweeney joined me, holding Robyn.

"Do you know them, Sweeney?" I stared up at him with wide eyes. Sweeney, however, was staring at the pair at our front door. "Sweeney."

"Pardon me, m'am," the boy said as he walked forwards, extending a hand. "My name is Anthony Hope. This is my fiancée, Johanna Barker."

* * *

Thank you Comfortably Plump, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, music is life 99 xxx, Miss Magenta Lestrange and CadyD for reviewing!

As far as I know, my drama exam went well, so that's one less thing to worry about. Just another 12/13 exams to go . . .


	8. Fall Right Into Place

_**Chapter Eight  
**__**Fall Right Into Place**_

_Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place  
__If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday  
__If only time flew like a dove  
__~Hallelujah, Paramore_

* * *

I sat in the living room in silence, staring at the wall opposite me. Robyn was on my lap and Anthony was sitting on the armchair, his fingers drumming against his thighs. Sweeney and Johanna were in the kitchen.

It was . . . awkward.

Anthony looked uncomfortable, as if he wanted to talk to me but had nothing to say, and I just didn't want to talk.

How was this happening?

Why was this happening?

Why now? When things were going so . . . _well._

Robyn let out a loud noise of protest; I loosened my grip on her.

"She's very beautiful."

I glanced over at Anthony, who was gazing at Robyn with a small smile. Immediately, I envisioned him as a father.

"Thank you," I muttered, looking away again.

Silence fell over us.

I listened for any noise coming from the kitchen, but heard nothing.

Frowning, I shifted my position and then shifted it again. I was restless.

"Are you alright?" Anthony asked, frowning at me. I nodded.

"Yes, I'm fine." Looking at him, I saw hurt flash through his eyes. I sighed. "Sorry. It's just a bit of a shock, y'know?"

"Yes, Johanna and I haven't quite accepted it either."

I frowned, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear as I said, "How did it happen?"

"How did what happen?"

"How did you suddenly end up here." I made a wide sweeping gesture with my hand. "In the twenty first century?"

"I fear I may sound odd if I tell you," Anthony admitted quietly.

I laughed without humour. "Believe me, I'm more than used to odd things."

Anthony stared at me for a moment, but didn't question me. Instead, he leaned back in his seat. "The last thing I remember is Johanna and I travelling from London. I think we may have fallen asleep at one point during the journey, because when we woke up, we were in a strange room with a note."

"A note?"

"Yes, one with this address on it. We were also left some money and a small bag of clothes each."

"How . . . " I struggled to find the word. "Weird."

"I know . . . " Anthony agreed.

"That wasn't anything like Sweeney's arrival," I said softly, speaking aloud without really meaning to.

"May I ask how Mr Todd arrived? If you don't mind, of course."

"I previously owned 186 Fleet Street before moving here. A few days after I moved into Fleet Street, I heard strange noises coming from the bake house and went to investigate. There I found Sweeney."

Why I told Anthony this, I wasn't sure. Despite being several years younger than me, I found myself trusting him.

"How odd."

Anthony frowned thoughtfully before his eyes met mine once more. "And may I inquire as to what your relationship with Mr Todd is? I do not wish to come across as impolite, but it puzzled me slightly."

"I'm his wife." I held my hand, showing him my wedding ring. "I have been since September. Robyn is our daughter."

"My belated congratulations, Mrs Todd." Anthony smiled.

I smiled back. "Please, call me Niamh."

"Then I must insist that you call me Anthony."

"I was going to anyway."

Anthony laughed.

A small smile appearing despite itself, I turned away and continued to stare at the wall, waiting.

They say that time flies when you're having fun, which is probably why time seemed to be crawling by.

What were Sweeney and Johanna talking about?

Curiousity burned inside me as I struggled to hear anything; Sweeney had shut the door, making it clear that the conversation was private.

Oh well. He'd probably tell me later.

We were married now. We told each other everything.

Well, most things anyway.

I cringed to myself, though why I wasn't sure, and put Robyn down on the ground when she began to fuss.

Immediately, she began crawling around the floor, using the coffee table to pull herself up. She banged her fists on it several times, yelling along to the noise, and threw the magazines on the floor. I rolled my eyes.

"You monster," I muttered, kneeling down to pick up the mess.

Giggling, Robyn crawled away. Towards Anthony.

I watched her as she stared up at him for a moment or two, silently debating her opinion on this strange man, before finally tugging on his trouser leg.

Anthony looked up at me. "May I . . . ?"

"Sure. I can't promise you that she'll let you put her down afterwards, though, and she is pretty heavy."

Laughing softly, Anthony scooped Robyn up and sat her down on his lap.

While she played with the lapels of his coat and tugged on his hair, Anthony watched her with a wide smile. He spoke softly to her and pulled silly faces, keeping her entertained. I smiled.

"You're a natural."

"I was the oldest of five," Anthony told me. "And my father was away often."

"Yeah, well, it's not the same when they're yours."

"I hope to experience parenthood following mine and Johanna's marriage," he admitted, blushing slightly. "I'm not sure if Johanna will agree though . . . "

"Why wouldn't she? It's like every girl's instinct to go nuts over a baby."

"It's not the children she may not want, it's the process that must be done she may not like," Anthony said delicately, his blush deepening. I frowned.

"What do you?" I asked, standing up.

"I'm afraid that I shouldn't really tell you . . . "

"And I'm not going to force you to," I said.

Anthony smiled. "Thank you, Niamh."

"What for?"

"Being so understanding . . . and for welcoming Johanna and myself so graciously into your home. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."

"It's no problem," I lied.

It wasn't. Not really.

Johanna was Sweeney's daughter. I couldn't not let her in, could I?

But . . . it was weird.

Nellie, Johanna and Anthony appearing from the past without so much as an explanation.

It was like one big, happy family reunion.

But where did that leave me?

Robyn was fine. Robyn was Sweeney's daughter, his flesh and blood.

Me? I was just the woman he was married to. That meant nothing when compared to the ordeals those four had experienced together.

Especially Nellie.

We'd make it work, though.

Somehow.

I jumped at the sound of the kitchen door opening, and Anthony stood up, still holding Robyn.

After a moment, Johanna walked into the room, looking pale. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were pink, as if she'd been crying, but she still looked insanely beautiful and doll like.

I took Robyn from Anthony, allowing him to embrace Johanna, and looked up at Sweeney.

"Is everything alright?" I asked carefully, keeping my eyes on him. He looked back at me and nodded once.

"Anthony, I've finally found him," Johanna whispered. "I have finally found my father."

Anthony embraced her again, kissing the top of her head as he stroked her hair, and I crossed the room. Sweeney put his arm around me, kissing my head, and held me close as I leaned against him.

Seeing the way he looked at Johanna gave me an idea.

"Anthony, Johanna." They both turned to me. "Would you like to stay with us? We have a spare room."

"Would that be alright?" Anthony asked. "We wouldn't like to impose."

"Don't be silly. Of course it's alright." I smiled up at Sweeney. "Isn't it?"

"Yes," he said softly.

"If we may," Johanna said just as quietly. "Then Anthony and I would very much appreciate it."

"Sure. You'll have to sleep on an air mattress for a couple of nights until we get you two a bed, but apart from that, the room is yours."

It was odd, it was weird and it would create a highly dysfunctional family.

But we were going to make it work.

Somehow.

* * *

Thank you Miss Magenta Lestrange, CadyD, Comfortably Plump, babyvfan and Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle for reviewing!

Also, I'm not sure if any of you are Alice In Wonderland, 2010, fans, but if you are - I've posted a new story called 'Subterfuge' (I deleted my rewrite of TAOHN under the same name) and I'd really appreciate if some of you could let me know what you think?


	9. She Didn't Choose This Role

_**Chapter Nine  
She Didn't Choose This Role**_

_She didn't choose this role  
__But she'll play it and make it sincere  
__~Time To Dance, Panic! At The Disco_

* * *

As a day or two passed, I realised that Johanna was quite peculiar.

She was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. She was petite and doll like; she walked with the grace of a ballet dancer; she spoke softly and seldom requested anything. Still, she was so strange.

One morning, Sweeney, Anthony, Johanna, Robyn and I were in the kitchen together, eating breakfast like any ordinary family.

But this wasn't an ordinary family.

The radio was playing while I made breakfast and Sweeney tried to feed Robyn (she was more focused on making a lot of noise and generally being awkward). Anthony spoke to Sweeney, despite recieving no answers, and Johanna was silent.

I checked the bacon and sausages, both of which were on the grill, and grinned. I was getting the hang of this housewife lark.

The toast popped up; I sliced it and put it on the toast rack.

"Toast," I sung happily, putting the rack on the table. Johanna, who had been staring at the table, looked up at me.

For a moment, she just stared. Stared with her dark brown eyes that were so like Sweeney's.

A shiver ran down my spine, so I looked away quickly, focusing my attention on the breakfast.

I somehow managed to get everyone's breakfast orders right; Anthony asked for a full breakfast ("If it isn't too much trouble.") and, despite his protests that he didn't need or want anything, I made Sweeney a full breakfast with extra bacon. I was having a sausage sandwich and Johanna was content with a piece of dry toast.

She sat across from me, nibbling the toast like a little hamster. I tried not to look at her.

"Well," I said. "This is nice."

Anthony smiled at me. "Yes, it is," he agreed. "Thank you, Niamh."

I smiled back. "You're more than welcome, Anthony," I replied happily.

"This is one of the nicest breakfasts I've had," he continued, cutting into his bacon.

"Oh. Well, you can't have had many nice breakfasts," I joked. Sweeney's eyes met mine.

"I am pleased to say that your cooking ability has improved over time," he said softly, his lips tilted into a half smile. I laughed.

"My cooking was brilliant to begin with!" I protested, poking him with a fork that I'd grabbed from the counter. An eyebrow raised, Sweeney gently caught my wrist and put it down onto the table.

I smiled, remembering our encounter in the cafe; he slammed my arm onto the table because I tried to feed him salad.

As it did before, my wrist tingled at the contact.

I covered his hand with mine and gently squeezed. Gazing at me, he released my arm from his grip and continued to feed Robyn.

Smiling to myself, I looked up and saw that Johanna was staring at me.

She didn't look away when our eyes met, as I expected, but continued to stare at me with an unfathomable expression. I stared back at her anxiously.

"Are you alright, Johanna?" I asked.

"Yes, thank you," she mumbled, looking at her hands. They were clasped on her lap; she seemed to be wringing them.

"Would you like anything to eat?" Anthony questioned her quietly. "You can share my breakfast if you can't manage on of your own."

"No, thank you."

Anthony smiled and squeezed Johanna's hand.

After breakfast, Sweeney announced that he was going into town to do the weekly shop and Anthony volunteered to go with him. Johanna didn't look up from her hands.

"Would you like to go with them, Johanna?" I asked. "Get a bit of fresh air, y'know?"

"No, thank you."

Anthony went upstairs to get ready, and Johanna followed him. Her head was ducked, her expression sombre.

Sweeney frowned, gathered the plates and slammed them against the counter. I sighed.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

He was lying.

Standing up, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. He stiffened.

I knew what I had to say to make this better.

I didn't want to say it, and I didn't want to do what I was going to suggest, but I had to. I couldn't let Sweeney feel the way that he did.

"Would you like me to talk to Johanna?"

He gently pulled away and stared down at me, frowning. After a long moment of silence, he nodded once.

I smiled. "Then I will," I promised.

Sweeney gently caressed my cheek with his hand, his fingers brushing against the line of my cheekbone, and I sighed softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

After Sweeney and Anthony left, Johanna disappeared upstairs. I changed Robyn and put her down in her playpen in her room. Turning on the baby monitor, I carried the other one down the corridor.

"Johanna," I said softly, knocking on the door. "Can I come in?"

There was brief moment of silence before the door opened. Johanna stared up at me anxiously.

"I was just hoping we could have a talk," I explained with what I hoped was a friendly smile.

Johanna hesitated slightly before stepping to the side, letting me in. I walked into the room, looking around.

It was very plain. A bit boring, actually.

Johanna watched me as I stopped in the centre of the room, turning to face her.

"Is it ok to sit down?" I asked, gesturing towards the mattress. We still hadn't gotten them a bed yet.

She nodded.

I put the baby monitor down on the windowsill and sat down on the mattress. Johanna hesitantly joined me.

"Are you ok, Johanna?" She nodded. "No, I mean, are you _really _ok?"

"Yes."

"It must be hard to adjust," I said casually. "This being such a big change and all."

Johanna didn't reply.

"I must've been about your age when I fell in love with a boy called Jared." Johanna looked up and frowned at me. "And he was absolutely gorgeous. He was the typical bad boy of the school. So we got together, moved into a flat and started a life together."

Her brow creased slightly. "Then why . . . ?" her voice trailed away in confusion.

"Looks can be deceptive," I said bitterly. "Especially with Jared." I sighed. "There's no way I can sugarcoat it, Johanna. I was in an abusive relationship, and an incredibly bad one at that. I lost my baby because of him."

Her eyes widened as she stared at me, her mouth falling open slightly.

"Oh," she whispered. "Niamh, I'm so sorry."

I smiled sadly at her, reaching out. The moment my hand touched hers, she jerked away.

I looked at her, my smile turning into a frown.

"You can move on," I said softly, "It might take a while, but you can do it, Johanna."

"How?" she asked softly, looking up at me. Tears had sprung to her eyes, gently rolling down her cheeks.

"Talk to someone." She opened her mouth, but I interupted her. "Not me, not Anthony, not your dad . . . someone professional."

"Please don't send me to a mad house!" she screamed hysterically, clutching my arms. Her eyes were wide with terror as her nails dug into my arms. She was shaking, crying. "Please, I'm not mad, I swear!"

"Hey, I never said that you were," I said gently, resting my hands on her arms. She slowly released me. "Johanna, no one is going to send you away."

"Do you promise?" she asked, whispering as if she was uttering a sacred vow.

"I promise."

Still sobbing, Johanna caved in on herself, her body crumpling. I held her up, soothing her as she cried into my shoulder, and closed my eyes.

I didn't choose to play the role of a mother to Johanna.

But I was an actress, and I was going to act.

If not for Sweeney, then for myself.

* * *

So sorry for the long wait - yesterday was my last official day in secondary school. We recieved prom tickets and leavers hoodies, listened to a few speeches from our head mistress and teachers and laughed ourselves silly at the photos of ourselves from year seven. Needless to say, it was a good last day. It did cause a lot of tears though.

Not to mention my incredibly frustrating writer's block.

But now it's been overcome and I am back! After much though, I decided that this portrayal of Johanna was much better than my previous attempts. She's been abused - mentally/pyshcologically, possibly sexually - for years. She's bound to be quite a disturbed child.

Thank you Comfortably Plump, CadyD and babyvfan for reviewing! Again, I'm sorry for the long wait.


	10. Stay Far Away From Mine

_**Chapter Ten  
**__**Stay Far Away From Mine**_

_I won't tell you how to live your life  
__So please stay far away from mine  
__~Always Running Out Of Time, Motion City Soundtrack_

* * *

If there was one thing that really, _really _pissed me off about Nellie, it was that she always had an opinion of something.

Mainly my life.

Walking into the studio, seeing her immediately put me in a bad mood. She made such a point of coming in wearing nice clothes and make up, whereas I wore baggy tracksuit bottoms and vests.

"Hey gorgeous."

I grinned; I could always count on David to bring my good mood back.

"Hey you," I said. "How are you?"

"Not too bad." He grimaced. "Me and Mia had a fight."

"Oh. What about?"

He sighed. "She got really pissed off because I went out with my mates last night and didn't call her to let her know that it was going to be a late one."

"And now you're in the dog house?"

"Sadly, yeah. She made me sleep on the sofa."

I laughed; David scowled.

"Thanks for the sympathy, Niamh."

"Sorry, David, I just thought that sort of stuff only happened on tv."

"No, it happens in real life."

Still giggling, I wrapped an arm around his waist. "Never mind," I said. "You've still got me."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and smiled as we strolled across the studio. This time last year, I would've been over the moon knowing that David was spilling his heart out to me, but now, it was just what we did.

"You look really hot, by the way," David teased. I elbowed him.

"Not all of us can afford to look nice everyday," I muttered, glaring in Nellie's direction.

"What, like the hag from hell?"

Staring up at David, I laughed. "What did you just call her?"

"The hag from hell," he repeated, and then shrugged. "You two have obviously got history and she's making you mad, so that makes her a hag from hell."

I sighed. "It's not us that have history. It's Nellie and Sweeney."

His eyes widened. "Shit. Is she his ex?"

"No, thank God. She was just madly in love with him and probably still is."

"And he isn't interested?"

"Far from it."

"I wouldn't worry about it, Niamh," David told me. "She's no competition. Even if you are ginger and therefore have no soul."

"Hey!"

I tried to hit him, but he dodged it and ran off, laughing. Shaking my head, I fondly rolled my eyes.

"Morning, love."

I reluctantly turned around and plastered a fake grin on my face as I turned to face Nellie.

"Hi."

"You look nice."

"Oh yeah, gym chic," I said sarcastically. "It's the in thing right now."

Nellie either didn't hear my sarcasm or she chose to ignore it. Instead, she laughed. "It's very becoming," she told me. "So, 'ow's Sweeney?"

"Fine," I replied stiffly. "Why?"

"Just asking, love. 'e is my friend, after all."

I found some pleasure in knowing that Sweeney absolutely despised the woman, whereas she was totally oblivious.

"Yeah, well, he's fine, I'm fine, Robyn's fine, we're all fine."

Nellie stared at me for a moment. "Ok . . . " She hesitated slightly before speaking again. "I was looking at the photos of previous productions this morning."

"So?"

"Just making conversation, love."

"Well, I don't really have time to talk," I snapped back. "The rehearsal is starting in five minutes."

"I won't keep you, then."

"Great." Spinning around, I walked towards the stage. Tim was there with David and Kat.

"Ah Niamh," he said the moment he spotted me, reaching into the box on the stage. "I have something for you."

"Aw Tim, you shouldn't have."

Tim gave me a look. "For the show."

I grinned.

My grin widened when I sat the hand puppet Tim took out from the box.

"Is that for me?" I asked, taking it from him and sliding my hand into it. I laughed as I made it waggle its arms around.

"Clopin has a puppet, so you need to practise with it," Tim told me. "You'll need to change your voice and - "

"I know, Tim," I interupted, now making the puppet dance. "I've been doing this for years, remember?"

"Good, then you'll know that I want you on stage with your script."

"Sir yes sir!"

I jumped on stage and took a seat at the side, still playing with the puppet. On the actual night, I'd have a seat or something, but for now I was completely content sitting cross legged on the floor.

"Right, we're going to go through act one," Tim announced. "And have a go at the songs. Niamh, are you ready?"

The puppet was now dancing with my other hand.

"_Niamh_!"

Jumping, I looked at him. "Yeah?"

He held his hand out for the puppet, and I recoiled.

"Listen to me," he said slowly. "Or I will take that damn thing away from you. Understand?"

Feeling like a child again, I nodded.

The chorus got on stage and, after Tim ushered them into position, began singing the latin chants that opened the show.

Standing up, I began to sing.

_Morning in Paris, the city awakes_

_To the bells of Notre Dame_

_The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes_

_To the bells of Notre Dame_

_To the big bells as loud as the thunder _

_To the little bells soft as a psalm_

_And some say the soul of the city's the toll of the bells_

_The bells of Notre Dame_

The chorus gathered around at my feet, now posing as children, and sat down as I spoke.

"Listen," I said with a smile, my script in one hand and the puppet on the other. "They are beautiful, no? So many colours of sounds, so many changing moods. Because, you know, they don't ring all by themselves."

"_They don't_?" I made the puppet squeak, popping up.

"No, silly boy. Up there, high, high in the dark bell tower, lives the mysterious bell ringer. Who is this creature?"

"_Who_?" the puppet repeated.

"What is he?"

"_What_?"

"How did he come to be there?"

"_How_?"

"Hush!" I scolded, hitting the puppet over the head. The chorus laughed. "And Clopin will tell you. It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster!"

* * *

Sweeney came to pick me up at the end of the rehearsal, and for that I was extremely grateful.

As I packed away my things, however, Nellie thought it was appropriate to approach me.

If she said one thing to Sweeney, then I was going to take my script and shove it up her -

"You're very good, love," Nellie complimented. I frowned at her.

"Thanks."

"But I do think that you can improve."

I scowled. "Really?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I don't mean to sound rude - "

"But you're going to be anyway."

Nellie frowned, folding her arms. "I'm only trying to be 'elpful, love."

I spun around to face her, my temper flaring as I glared at her.

"Do you know _anything _about performing, Nellie?" I demanded, taking a step forwards. "Have you any idea how long it has taken me to finally be at the point that I'm considered for main roles?"

"Well, no, but - "

"Do you know how many hours a day I have to spend practising my songs and words? Or how tiring it is going over the same dance routines over and over again?"

"I just - "

"You have no idea what it is like to be a performer, Nellie, do you?"

"Well . . . "

"_Do you_?" I repeated with such fury that my voice shook.

"No," she finally said.

"I don't come to the shop and tell you how to run it," I snapped. "So don't you even _dare _tell me that I can improve on the one thing that I am good at."

I probably would've hit her had Sweeney not weaved his hand into mine.

Tears of anger in my eyes, I glared at her for one last time and, with Sweeney in tow, stormed out of the studio.

Performing was the one thing I was truly good at, the one thing that I could really _do._

Until Nellie ruined it.

Now I knew why Sweeney hated her so much.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Comfortably Plump, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Miss Magenta Lestrange, babyvfan, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and music is life 99 for reviewing!

Would anyone be interested if I were to start an Alice In Wonderland (2010) fic? I'm trying to branch out from the Sweeney Todd fics . . . thoughts/opinions, please?


	11. The First Page Of Our Story

_**Chapter Eleven  
**__**The First Page Of Our Story**_

_On the first page of our story  
The future seemed so bright  
Then this thing turned out so evil  
I don't know why I'm still surprised  
~Love The Way You Lie (part II), Rhianna feat. Eminem_

* * *

"Are you alright, Niamh?" Anthony asked when I stormed inside.

"No," I snapped back, walking to the kitchen.

Once there, I opened the fridge and snatched the last can of beer. I didn't care what I was drinking as long as I had a _drink._

I opened it and, just as I was about to take a long drink from it, Sweeney snatched it away from me.

"Give it back." I glared at him.

"No."

To my horror, Sweeney poured the contents down the sink.

"Sweeney!"

"You're not drinking, Niamh," he told me firmly.

"Why not?"

Anthony hesitantly joined us in the kitchen, lingering in the doorway, and Johanna stood behind him.

"Because you don't need it."

"I don't think that you're in any position to tell what I do and don't need."

Sweeney glared at me. "I refuse to let you drink in this house," he said with a dangerously low voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Johanna's hand fly out and grab Anthony's.

"Fine," I snapped back. "I'll go out and drink."

"Niamh."

I stormed past Sweeney, and he grabbed my arm. He held it in a tight grip.

"Don't," he said quietly.

"You're hurting me," I whispered. Sweeney stared at me for a moment before slowly releasing me.

I stared back at him for a moment, knowing that if I walked out of the house, it would only make things so much worse. If I stayed, then maybe we could sit down, talk things through . . .

The problem was that I usually took the easy way out.

Turning away so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes, I walked away from Sweeney. I hesitated at the door before opening it and walking out.

* * *

"You really have screwed things up," Theo said.

I glared at him. "Thanks Theo. I knew that I could rely on you for sympathy and kindness."

He shrugged, handing me a large glass of wine. "Hey, I let you in, didn't I? I never said that I was going to be nice to you."

I rolled my eyes and had a drink.

After leaving the house, I drove to Theo and Anna's flat, demanding a drink and/or sympathy. Theo chose the former.

Sighing, I curled my legs up and frowned. I really had screwed things up . . .

"Can you blame me, though?" I asked, still frowning. "I mean, the woman is a bitch!"

"Is she?" Theo frowned at me doubtfully. "I haven't seen her do anything particuarly bitchy."

"She's sneaky. She does it so only I can see it."

"Or maybe you can only see it because you're looking for it."

"Don't be stupid," I scoffed, sipping my drink.

"I'm not," Theo snapped back. "Face it, Niamh, you're jealous."

"Jealous?" I cried. "What the hell have I got to be jealous of?"

"Well, lets think about it. She's older than you. She has way more history with your husband than you do. She's attractive."

"So you're saying that I'm ugly now?"

"You are ginger," Theo mumbled. Scowling, I picked up a nearby cushion and threw it at him.

"And you're a bitch," I snapped back furiously.

"I was _joking._" Theo threw the cushion back at me. "Jeez Niamh, you're so frickin' hormonal."

"Can you blame me?"

Theo rolled his eyes. "Ok, so tell me why you hate her so much."

"Because . . . she's a woman. She's older than me and she knows Sweeney better than I do and she's so God damn beautiful," I whined. "She makes me feel like a stupid child every time we talk and when she's around Sweeney, it's as if I don't exist."

"You really _are_ jealous." Theo stared at me with wide eyes.

"Of _course_ I'm jealous! No matter how many times I said that I'm not, I'm so insanely jealous that it _hurts._" I slumped in my seat. "I can't compete with her."

Theo continued to stare at me.

"What?"

"I never thought that I'd live to see the day Niamh Olivia Quinn admits that she's jealous of someone."

"Todd," I corrected miserably.

"Whatever."

"So what am I going to do?"

"Go home," Theo replied simply. "Sort things out with Sweeney rather than sit with your best gay friend and drink."

"I like sitting with my best gay friend and drinking though," I mumbled.

"Grow up, Niamh," he said, but not unkindly. I glowered.

"Do I have to?"

"If you want to keep Sweeney, then yeah. You really do."

I frowned.

"What are you afraid of, Niamh?" Theo asked me gently.

"Loosing Sweeney," I said. "I can't loose him. Not now. Not again."

I lost Sweeney when I kissed David, and I couldn't loose him again.

"Have things not been great between you, then?"

"Not really." I hesitated before adding, "His daughter moved in with us."

"Robyn?" Theo was frowning.

"No." I rolled my eyes. "Johanna."

"Who?"

"His daughter from a previous marriage," I said carefully. Technically, it wasn't a lie. I just wasn't telling the whole truth. "The one that he thought was dead."

"Ah." Theo frowned again. "How old is she?"

"Sixteen. And she's engaged."

Theo's eyes widened as he stared at me, his eyebrows shooting upwards. "Seriously?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He moved in with us as well." I played with the glass in my hand. "It's ok, though. They're really serious about their relationship. They want things to work out."

"Wow."

I didn't share his enthusiasm.

"So with the gorgeous ex sniffing around him and the daughter from a previous marriage living with you, things are kinda hard, huh?"

"Kinda?" I snorted. "Theo, it's like I'm the outsider. I have no real connection with Nellie or Johanna. They're just two women who happen to be part of my husband's life."

Theo shuffled across the sofa and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Maybe you should have a bit of space from them," he suggested gently. "You're always welcome to stay here."

I smiled. "Thanks, Theo, but no. I can't run away. Not now."

"You think that Nellie will dig her claws into Sweeney the moment you're gone?"

"I don't think so," I said, taking another drink. "I know she will."

* * *

Thank you Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle (I LOVE the House of Night series!), Comfortably Plump, CadyD, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and music is life 99 for reviewing!


	12. I Fall, I Fall Down

_**Chapter Twelve  
**__**I Fall, I Fall Down**_

_Try not to talk when there's nothing to say.  
__Kept bottled up, we get carried away.  
__Then I fall, then I fall down.  
__Then we fall down.  
__~Ridiculous (Looking Up), Bowling For Soup_

* * *

I sidled into the house and took off my jacket. I felt like a student being sent to head teacher's office (which actually happened quite a few times during my five years at secondary school, but I blamed Anna and Theo for that . . . ) as I shuffled into the hall.

"I'm home," I called feebly, shutting the door quietly. Not surprisingly, I recieved no reply.

I could hear voices in the kitchen, and so reluctantly walked towards the room. The door was slightly ajar.

" . . . offended, was she, love?"

I froze.

Nellie.

"I don't wish to offend you when saying this," Anthony said delicately. "But I can't help feeling that your course of action was somewhat harsh."

I smiled; I liked Anthony a lot more now. Not that I didn't like him before, but now I felt proud to call him a sort of son in law,

"'ow so, Anthony?"

"As Niamh told you, her career is performing and, from what I've heard, she is extremely fond of it. Would you not be upset if someone were to criticize your baking?"

"Well, I suppose so, but - "

"There are no buts," Sweeney interupted.

I'd heard enough. Sneaking back down the hallway, I opened the door and slammed it shut again.

"I'm home!" I called loudly. The kitchen door opened; Johanna hurried down the hallway to hug me.

"Oh Niamh, I thought that you had left us," she said, clinging to me like a limpet. "Did you and papa argue? I was so scared that you weren't coming home."

I hugged her back and gently unhooked her arms from my neck.

"I wouldn't leave you, Johanna," I said. "Yes, Sweeney and I had a disagreement, but you don't have to worry."

Reassured, Johanna weaved her hand into mine and led me down the hallway, to the kitchen. Anthony was sitting at the table, Robyn on his lap, and Nellie was sitting across from him. Sweeney looked as if he had stopped in mid-pace, staring at me.

"Hi," I said in a false cheery tone, glancing at Nellie.

"Hello Niamh," Anthony said, smiling warmly. "How is Theo?"

"He's good." I smiled back. "He insulted my hair again, but that's quite normal for him."

Johanna looked up at me, torn between confusion and amusement. "He insulted your hair?" she questioned.

I nodded. "It's because I'm ginger," I told her solemnly. Johanna giggled before letting go of my hand and taking a seat next to Anthony.

Sweeney crossed the kitchen, standing in front of me, and stared down at me with desperate eyes.

I looked back at him, trying to convey my apologies and pleads for forgiveness. He, in return, raised his hand and brushed the line of my cheekbone with his fingertips.

I caught his hand, weaving my fingers through it, and knew that I was forgiven.

My lips tilting into a smile, I looked at Nellie pointedly, my eyebrows raised.

"Have you come to insult me again, Nellie?" I asked, but in a teasing manner. Nellie quirked an eyebrow, obviously confused, but smiled back.

"No, love, I've come to apologise," she said. She stood up. "I'm sorry that I insulted you on your acting. You were super, love, and I suppose that I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Of your acting abilities," she explained.

"Oh, well, I forgive you," I told her with false sincerity. "And I'd like to apologise for my outburst. It was completely uncalled for."

"Nah, that's alright. I can understand why you did." Nellie extended a hand. "Forgive and forget, 'ey?"

I had to force myself not to flinch at the familiar phrase. Instead, my smile widened and I took her hand, shaking it.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Forgive and forget."

Then I did something even I wasn't expecting.

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Nellie?"

* * *

"I thought she'd never leave," I moaned as I fell onto the bed.

"Why did you invite her?" Sweeney asked bitterly. I crawled up the bed and curled up against him, lying against his chest. He wrapped his arm around me.

"Because I thought that it would show my forgiveness for her being seeing such a bitch."

Looking up, I saw that Sweeney's lips had twitched into his devilish half smile.

"What?"

"You haven't forgiven her, have you?"

"Of course not," I muttered. "I hate her. I _hate _her."

Sweeney's arm tightened slightly, pulling me closer, and he played with my hair, weaving his fingers through the strands. I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "About today. I shouldn't have left like that."

"I don't blame you," he said softly, kissing the top of my head.

"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me though."

Sweeney didn't say anything, but he pulled closer still. I sighed.

"We shouldn't fight in front of Johanna," I said. "She's still delicate. She was so scared that I'd left for good."

"Then we won't," he agreed quietly.

"You know, we shouldn't fight at all."

"And allow the tension to destroy our marriage?" Sweeney snorted.

I giggled. "Ok, the occasional fight is fine. But not like earlier. That was . . . daft."

As we lay together, staring up at the ceiling, I realised just how much I loved being in his arms. When we lay together like this, cuddling and entangled in each other, talking things over, it made me realise I couldn't live without him.

"You look troubled."

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Huh?"

"You look troubled," he repeated. I screwed my nose up, propping myself up on my elbow as I gazed down at him. My hand rested on his chest.

"You'll never leave me, will you?" I asked.

Sweeney stared up at me and frowned. Silent, he placed his hand over mine and directed it above his heart.

I could feel it beating beneath my palm, and looked straight into Sweeney's eyes as it rested there.

"It belongs to you," he told me.

I took my hand from his chest and replaced it with my head, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"You've always had mine," I mumbled. "Since the first day we met."

His fingers gently cupped my chin, pushing it upwards. He kissed me.

When the kiss ended, I shut my eyes and put my head on his chest.

That night, I fell asleep in Sweeney's arms, listening to his heartbeat.

* * *

Thank you Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Miss Magenta Lestrange, CadyD, Comfortably Plump and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing.

I now only have three exams left - two geography and one history - and then I will have officially left school. Believe me, after so many weeks of revision, I will be glad when next Monday is finished.

Question: is there anything anyone would like in this fic? Like more personA/personB bonding or some confrontations between people. I have some ideas, but I'd appreciate any ideas. It can be anything between anyone. If you want it to happen, I will find a way to incoporate it to the fic!


	13. Just Take My Hand

_**Chapter Thirteen  
**__**Just Take My Hand**_

_It will be all right  
__Just take my hand  
__Hold it tight  
__~You'll Be In My Heart, Tarzan soundtrack_

* * *

Because it was the weekend and I didn't have a rehearsal, I decided to take Johanna shopping. Anthony was job hunting and Sweeney wasn't feeling very well.

"Aw, poor baby," I crooned, gently stroking his hair. He batted my hand away, scowling at me from his seat on the sofa.

"I am not a dog," he growled.

I giggled and began stroking his hair again. Sweeney's hand shot out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me onto the sofa. I landed on his lap and he caught my other wrist, holding them gently.

"Refrain from petting me," he ordered, but I could see the humour in his eyes. I grinned.

"You love it really," I muttered, biting my bottom lip.

"Damn you, woman."

"Hey!" I hit him. "Don't call me woman. You may call me Niamh or refer to my incredible sexy body, but not woman."

"I suppose those terms shall suffice."

He leaned down to kiss me, but I held a hand up, stopping him.

"Uh, no thanks," I said. "I don't want your nasty germs."

He scowled at me again. Giggling, I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Oh."

I jumped up, blushing furiously when I saw Johanna in the doorway. She looked incredibly apologetic.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't meant to interupt."

"It's fine. Are you ready?"

She nodded. "I just need to put my shoes on."

"Cool. I'll be ready in a minute."

"Where are you going?" Sweeney asked as Johanna went to collect her shoes.

"I'm taking your daughter shopping," I said happily, perching on the arm of the sofa. "While you stay at home and look after _our _daughter."

Sweeney didn't look to pleased, but smiled nevertheless when Robyn, who was crawling around the floor and making a lot of noise, grabbed his leg, pulling herself up.

"Have fun." I jumped up. When I reached the door, I blew him a kiss. "Love ya!"

* * *

As I suspected, Johanna was amazed by the sights and sounds of London. We took the underground train because the traffic was a bitch and I thought it would be good fun for Johanna.

She stayed close to me as we walked through the busy streets, her eyes darting about everywhere.

We'd consulted Sweeney on the prospect of therapy and he agreed. According to Johanna, it was going well and helping, but she was still rather wary of everything.

"Would the pretty women like some pretty jewels?" one stall owner asked, grinning as he held up a necklace. Johanna looked horrified, but I laughed.

"No thanks, buddy," I said. "Better luck next time."

He accepted defeat graciously and bid us a good day.

"I wish I had your confidence, Niamh," Johanna said miserably as we walked away.

I laughed. "You can't take them seriously, Johanna. It's only banter."

She looked confused and I didn't know how to explain, so I quickly steered her in the direction of a large department store. There were loads of shops that I liked in it, and I knew that we could find something for Johanna.

"So, what sort of clothes are you into?" I asked. Since her arrival, she'd worn the same jeans nearly every day with baggy shapeless tops she had in her suitcase. She occasionally borrowed Anthony's clothes.

"I quite like floral patterns," she admitted. "I've seen a few girls wearing it and they're so pretty."

I agreed with her. "I'm sure that we can find something."

As we browsed the shelves and rails, I occasionally peeked at Johanna. I smiled as I saw the large grin she wore while pulling things off the rail.

With several hangers in her hand, Johanna requested that we went to the changing room. I obliged, taking my own selection of clothing.

"Oh Johanna, you look beautiful."

Johanna beamed, gently stroking the skirt of the pretty floral dress she'd picked out. It was bright and colourful, tight at the waist and flowing out into a skirt that showed off her long legs.

"Thank you," she said shyly. "It is very pretty, isn't it?"

"You're definately getting that."

"But . . . I have no money."

I rolled my eyes. "Johanna, I brought you shopping and I'm buying your stuff for you."

"Oh no, I can't let you - "

I grinned, whipping out my credit card. "I really wouldn't worry about it," I said. "My favourite aunt transferred a very large amount of money into my account because she won't be seeing me on my birthday."

She looked at the credit card quizically, but Johanna got the idea. Grinning, she shut the changing room curtain and changed into her next new outfit.

We spent hours in the shop, and I didn't just buy Johanna new clothes. With all the spare money in my account, I couldn't resist treating myself . . .

I asked Johanna if we should get presents for Sweeney and Anthony. Giggling, she told me that if they wanted new clothes, they can go on their own shopping trip.

So, clutching our many bags and giggling, we stumbled out of the shop.

"Today has been great, Niamh!" Johanna told me, her usually pale cheeks tinged pink as her eyes sparkled.

"It isn't over yet," I told her with a wide grin.

"What do you mean?"

"We haven't had lunch yet. Come on."

Johanna eagerly followed me, no longer wary of the crowds surrounding us, and we ended up in Pizza Express. Our bags at our feet, we talked while watching people pass by us through the window.

"Are you pleased with your new things?" I asked, sipping my glass of coke. After my fight with Sweeney, I probably wasn't going to drink for a while.

Yeah, _right._

"I am!" Johanna responded eagerly. "Thank you so much, Niamh. This day has been brilliant."

I grinned.

She then said something I wasn't expecting.

"I'm glad that my father married you."

I was sipping my drink as she said this, and had to resist the urge to spit it all out again from shock. Swallowing, I stared at her.

"Pardon?"

"I'm glad that my father married you," she repeated. "He obviously cares for you very much, and I can see why."

"You really think that?" I asked as our lunch - we'd gone for identical pepperoni pizzas - was placed in front of us. I thanked the waiter quickly before asking Johanna, "You don't think I'm trying to replace your mother or anything?

She frowned. "Of course not. My mother passed away when I was very young, so I have no memory of her. There is nothing for you to replace."

I smiled, unable to explain how touched by this I was.

"I'm really glad that you think that," I said quietly.

"And I wouldn't worry about Mrs Lovett," Johanna said.

"Worry about her?" I repeated warily. She nodded.

"I've seen the way that she looks at my father, but I have also seen the way that he looks at you. He loves you, Niamh."

I inwardly celebrated; I wasn't the only one who was paranoid about Nellie and Sweeney.

"He loves you too," I told her. "He might not say it, but he loves you so much."

She looked doubtful.

"Before we married, he told me about you and how he thought he had lost you." I smiled. "Actions speak louder than words when it comes to Sweeney."

She still didn't look as if she believed me.

"We named Robyn after you," I finally said. She stared at me. "Her full name is Robyn Johanna Todd."

"Oh Niamh . . . " Johanna looked close to tears. "I'm so glad Anthony and I met you. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met."

Smiling, I reached across the table and took her hand in my own.

"It'll be ok, Johanna," I said softly. "It might be a bit weird or upsetting at the moment, but things will turn out ok in the end."

I gently squeezed her hand. She stared at me.

After a moment, she squeezed my hand back.

* * *

My history exam went ridiculously well this morning (in my opinion) so I thought that I would celebrate with a new chapter!

As requested, more Niamh/Johanna bonding! There will be Niamh/Anthony bonding and Sweeney/Johanna bonding soon! I will also fit Theo and Anna in somehow . . .

One last exam on Monday, which I shall be celebrating by getting my nose pierced, which I've wanted done since I was eleven.

Anyway, thank you Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Comfortably Plump - good luck with your remaining exams! I know how stressful they can be - xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and CadyD for reviewing. I had no idea that Sweeney's last line would have so much impact!


	14. Slipping Through My Fingers

_**Chapter Fourteen  
**__**Slipping Through My Fingers**_

_Slipping through my fingers all the time  
__I try to capture every minute  
__The feeling in it _

_Slipping through my fingers all the time  
~Slipping Through My Finger, ABBA_

* * *

Robyn was one. Today.

And I couldn't believe it.

Sweeney ad been dreading this day for weeks now, knowing that a first birthday equated to a first birthday party, meaning loads of hyper children in our house.

I, however, was dreading it for a different reason.

Robyn was _one. _A whole year had passed and I didn't know where the time had gone.

* * *

Sweeney and I lay in bed, enjoying our last few minutes of blissful silence. Soon, we knew, Robyn would wake up and thus wake up Anthony and Johanna, both of whom were eager for Robyn's birthday.

Because of the nice weather, we decided on a barbeque and invited our friends. That way, Robyn could sit at her picnic table and lord it over her little friends while the adults had a drink and relaxed.

Plus there was nothing breakable outside; Robyn and her friends could run around to their heart's content.

Sweeney weaved his fingers through my hair and I shook my head.

"Get out of there," I playfully growled.

Sweeney snorted softly, but continued playing with my head. I snuggled closer to him, wrapping my arm around him.

"I can't believe that she's one already," I said softly.

"Time does pass," he muttered sarcastically. I elbowed him as I sat up.

"Yes, but not _this_ fast," I protested. "She shouldn't be one already. She should still be that tiny baby in the hospital room we cuddled."

"I'm sure that you will adjust to the changes."

I frowned, my brow furrowing as I thought. Sweeney also sat up, watching me.

"You know . . . we could always . . . " My voice trailed off and I shook my head. "Never mind."

"Tell me."

"No, it's silly. Ignore me."

Sweeney took my hand, weaving his fingers through mine, and used his other hand to gently turn my head to face him.

"Tell me," he ordered softly. I gazed into his eyes and sighed.

"I hate you," I mumbled, and he grinned. "I was just thinking that maybe . . . wecouldhaveanotherbaby."

He stared at me for a moment, his eyebrows pulling together as he frowned. I blushed.

"We could have another baby," I repeated slowly, looking away. I couldn't meet his gaze, not now.

There was a long moment of silence, in which my blush deepened.

"It was a stupid idea and I shouldn't have suggested it and - "

"If you would like another child," Sweeney interupted quietly. "Then we may try."

I stared at him.

And stared at him.

And stared at him a little bit more.

"Seriously?"

He nodded, brushing his fingers against my cheek. I leaned into his touch.

"You're not just saying it because I want another baby, are you? I don't want you to feel pressured into this because that wouldn't be fair. This has to be your choice and - "

Sweeney cut me off with a kiss. I grinned at him.

"Is that a yes?"

He nodded.

Letting out a squeal, I leapt on him.

Needless to say, we didn't leave the bedroom for a long time.

* * *

"I hate you so much, David," I said.

"I know."

"Why? Of all the things to get a one year old, why did you get a frickin' tricycle?"

"Because she isn't old enough for a bike just yet and the scooters were too big for her."

I glared at him and then at Robyn, who was whizzing around on her tricycle. It was one of those large, chunky plastic ones that looked more like a car than anything else. Then again, it was close to the ground and light, so Robyn wouldn't hurt herself if she fell off.

"Hey, at least she isn't throwing her tea cups around anymore."

Mum, stupidly, thought that Robyn would like a plastic tea set. Robyn, rather than play with it, preferred to throw the tea pot and cups around to see how much noise she could make.

"No, now she's cycling into people's legs and laughing." I shook my head. "My daughter is a pyschopath."

"Just like her Mum, then."

I punched him. He responded by tickling me, grabbing me by the waist when I tried to get away.

"No, David, stop it!" I squealed, laughing hysterically as he tickled me.

"Say the magic word."

"Please!"

David laughed and let go of me as Nellie approached us, a glass in her hand. She looked quite disgruntled.

"Your daughter just cycled into my legs," she grumbled.

"Oh." I stifled my laughter. "I'm sorry. She hasn't quite learned that it's mean to do that."

I glanced over at Sweeney, hoping that he would rescue me (David made a convenient excuse to leave), but he was having a stern talk with Robyn. Probably about why she shouldn't hurt people with her new tricycle.

"Mr T's very good with 'er, ain't 'e?"

"She _is _his daughter," I pointed out.

"So is Johanna," she said.

"And?"

"And 'e doesn't seem to be spending much time with 'er."

I looked at Johanna, who was standing at the opposite end of the garden to Sweeney, talking animatedly with Anthony.

"He spends time with her," I replied. "Though why it is any of your business, I'll never know," I added under my breath.

"It must be 'ard, raising another man's daughter."

"Women do it all the time. Just because she's my step daughter, doesn't mean that I don't love her."

It was true. I _did _love Johanna, and Anthony. Very much so, despite being her step mother and his step-mother in law . . . if there was such thing.

"Still, it must be strange."

"It isn't."

I could see that Nellie was getting annoyed, but she quickly hid her annoyance with a smile in Sweeney's direction.

"'E 'as missed Johanna very much," she said.

"I _know,_" I said impatiently. "Nellie, I'm married to the man. Do you not think that I probably would've worked these things out _eventually_?"

She looked rather disgruntled that I'd dare stand up to her, but then smirked. "Well, I've always found Mr T to be like a closed book."

"Even locked books have their keys," I said, feeling rather proud for my philosophical words. Really, I just wanted to jump and down singing "I had sex with Sweeney this morning and you didn't."

But that would be childish.

Incredibly so.

Thankfully, I was saved by a familiar voice.

"Hello, my child. I do hope that I'm not late."

I spun around, screaming, "Oh my God!" before I could stop myself. I then blushed. "I mean, uh, hello Father."

Father John smiled warmly at me, holding his arms out. I hugged him.

"It's been so long," I said when we broke apart, grinning like an idiot. "How are you?"

"I am well, thank you," he said. "How are you and Sweeney?"

"Yeah, we're great, thanks." I ran a hand through my hair, grinning over my shoulder at Sweeney. He had picked Robyn up and she was now on his shoulders. "I'm surprised at how great married life it."

"I am pleased for you, my child. And how is your daughter?"

"A monster."

Father John chuckled and, as if on cue, Sweeney joined us.

"Hello Father," he said softly, and he and Father John shook hands.

"Hello Sweeney. I trust that you are well?" Father John asked pleasantly.

"Yes, thank you."

"Sweeney, have you seen Robyn?" I inquired, though I could see that he had now thrown Robyn over one shoulder and was holding her securely in place. She wiggled, giggling hysterically.

"I'm afraid that I haven't," he told me apologetically, turning around as if to look for her.

"Oh look, there she is!" I laughed, taking Robyn from Sweeney and hugging her tight. "Hello, gorgeous girl."

Robyn hugged me tight and Sweeney put an arm around me as he kissed my head.

It was the perfect family moment for a far from perfect family.

* * *

Thank you Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, CadyD and Miss Magenta Lestrange for reviewing!

I have now officially left school and, yes, I did get my nose pierced :') It was quite painful but I am glad to say that I have made a full recovery and am currently loving my new piercing!


	15. I Want To Be A Star

_**Chapter Fifteen  
**__**I Want To Be A Star**_

_Do you even know who you are?  
__I guess I'm tryin' to find  
__A borrowed dream or a superstar?  
__I want to be a star  
__Is life good to you or is it bad?  
__I can't tell anymore  
__Do you even know what you have?  
__~Lonely Girl, P!NK_

* * *

When I was eleven, the prospect of joining a drama group was ever so exciting and brilliant and amazing.

Now, I was just tired.

I'd barely slept that night; Robyn was up most of the night, still buzzing with excitement from the party. Sweeney, of course, was up most of the night as well. Though his nights of brooding and pacing were over, I knew that he still struggled to sleep sometimes.

Anthony and Johanna, however, were dead to the world. I checked on them when attending to Robyn, making sure that she hadn't disturbed them, and smiled when I saw their intertwined figures, both fast asleep.

I didn't feel like smiling now, though.

Sitting in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee, I felt like crap.

I was exhausted, my head hurt and I really couldn't be bothered to go to the studio for a rehearsal.

I knew, however, that not only would Tim kill me, but Nellie would be incredibly smug that I didn't turn up.

And I couldn't have that.

So, even if it killed me, I was going to go to the studio.

Groaning at the thought, my head hit the table.

I just didn't want to.

Sitting up, I checked the clock and finished my coffee. I jumped up, picked up my bag and got to the front door just as David pulled up on our driveway.

I laughed, peering through his open window. "Can I help you?"

"Need a lift?" he asked, grinning.

"I have a car, David."

"I know that, Niamh." He rolled his eyes. "But I also know that you're feeling like crap and no one should drive in that sort of state."

I scowled and opened the door, sitting next to him.

"Are you saying that I look like crap?"

"No, I'm saying that you _feel _like crap. There is a difference."

"You don't look so great yourself," I pointed out, studying his profile as he drove. His hair was even messier than usual, and he had dark circles under his eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

I frowned, but didn't say anything. David would tell me when he felt like it.

Nellie was walking across the car park as David pulled up, and made no attempt in hiding her wide eyed stare. I smiled and waved at her.

"Great," I moaned, still grinning.

"What?"

"She's now going to tell Sweeney that I arrived in the same car as you."

"So?"

"So that obviously means that I'm having an affair," I said. "Duh."

"Don't _duh_ me." David poked me in the side, making me squeal. "Otherwise you're walking home."

"You wouldn't do that to me, David."

"No, I wouldn't."

Laughing, we walked to the studio together.

Nellie wasn't the only one staring; Tim seemed unable to take his eyes off us when we arrived together. I caught his gaze for a moment, frowning at him. He jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen.

"I'm going to get a coffee," I told David.

"Don't be too long. I can't be without you for too long!"

I laughed, rolling my eyes, and David playfully tapped my bottom. Laughing even more, I turned around and slapped him on the arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tim demanded the moment I walked into the kitchen. I shut the door.

"Huh?"

"You and David!" he hissed. "Niamh, are you really that stupid? You and Sweeney have things sorted now! Are you really willing to throw that all away again?"

I stared at him for a moment and then laughed.

"Oh God, Tim, seriously?"

He didn't look very amused. "Yes, Niamh, seriously."

"I'm not having an affair, Tim," I told him.

"But - "

"But nothing. David and I are friends. Incredibly close friends, yes, but that's all. Just friends."

Tim frowned at me. "Well, if you're sure . . . "

"Yes, I'm sure! Can we get on with the rehearsal now?"

* * *

I regretted saying that.

The rehearsal mainly focused on the chorus and blocking their scenes, so Helena took the opportunity to start playing with costumes.

David was alright; he got to wear a tunic with a pair of trousers. Kat looked gorgeous in a gypsy skirt and blouse, George had a long robe to wear and Micheal's costume was fairly similar to David's.

I, however, looked like a prat.

And Nellie was loving it.

I hit David on the arm, glaring at him. "Hey!" he protested.

"Stop laughing at me," I grumbled.

"I'm sorry, but you look so . . . " David's voice trailed off as he began laughing again. I glared at him again.

"You look great, love," Nellie told me. "Very . . . gyspy like."

I folded my arms, glaring at my outfit.

I was wearing a pair of bright purple leggings with an equally bright yellow tunic top. I also wore a floral waistcoat and a trilby with a large feather attached.

"Please, Niamh, they'll really complete the outfit," Helena pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Helena, but do I have to?"

Helena was holding out a pair of boots that would end about mid calf. They were black and decorated with little red roses and even smaller daisies.

She looked at me pleadingly and, glaring at her, I snatched the boots from her.

"Fine," I grumbled, pulling them on. "How do I look?"

David, who had finally stopped his laughter, looked up at me and burst out laughing again. I glared at him.

"You look great, love," Nellie told me, but she was grinning widely.

I glared at her.

"You look really cool," Kat told me, grinning at me over her shoulder. She was still admiring her outfit in the mirror.

"With a bit of make up, you'd look incredibly . . . Clopin-like." Helena grinned. "I'm quite proud of myself."

Despite all the compliments and the good natured teasing, I didn't feel pleased.

I wasn't happy.

I felt like a prat, but only because everyone else looked so great in their costumes. I looked . . . colourful. And stupid.

"Hey Sweeney, what do you think?"

I spun around, my eyes widening when I saw Sweeney, Anthony and Johanna standing behind me.

Sweeney wore an expression of confusion and a hint of amusement. Anthony was looking at me in mild awe and Johanna was grinning.

"Hi," I squeaked, suddenly feeling very self concious. "Erm . . . I'm going to get changed."

My cheeks burning, I snatched my clothes from Nellie and hurried into the toilets.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I stripped down from my costume, yanking on my jeans and t-shirt.

Why did Sweeney have to show up? Why did he have to bring Anthony and Johanna?

Why did they have to see me looking like a prat?

"Niamh?"

"Go away, David."

"Come on, Niamh."

"I said _go away._"

There was a moment of silence, and I thought that David had actually listened to me.

"You know, I actually thought that you looked really cool," he said. "I wasn't laughing at you, Niamh. I was laughing with you."

"Except I wasn't laughing."

"Please come out, Niamh," David pleaded. "Honestly, no one was laughing at you. We all look a bit daft in our costumes but that's all part of fun, remember?"

I didn't say anything.

"And it isn't as bad as the costumes we had to wear for The Lion King."

I hesitated for a moment before unlocking the cubicle door. David grinned at me.

"You ok?" he asked gently, hugging me. I nodded.

"David."

"Yeah?"

"You really shouldn't be in here. It's the girl's toilets."

* * *

Thank you Comfortably Plump, CadyD and Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle for reviewing!

Time for a bit of self promoting! My Alice In Wonderland, 2010, fic is finally posted! Thoughts/opinions on it would be very much appreciated :')


	16. Capable Of Really Anything

_**Chapter Sixteen  
**__**Capable Of Really Anything**_

_I can be so mean when I wanna be,  
__I am capable of really anything_

_. . . _

_How did I become so obnoxious,  
__What is it with you that makes me act like this,  
__I've never been this nasty.  
~Please Don't Leave Me, P!NK_

* * *

"Niamh, love, are - oh!"

I pulled away from David and glared at Nellie as she stared at us, a wicked grin spread across her face.

"Sorry, love, I didn't mean to interupt." Her grin widened. "Does Mr T know that you're in 'ere?" she asked David.

"Well he did see me follow Niamh," David said sheepishly. I frowned.

"Why does it matter?"

"I just don't want to see Mr T get 'urt again," Nellie said innocently, but I knew that she was far from innocent.

"What does that mean?"

"You know 'ow 'e lost 'is first wife." Nellie smirked. "And I know 'ow you ain't exactly faithful at all times."

I took a step forwards, my fists clenching.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I growled.

"Come off it, Niamh. It's obvious that something's going on between you two," Nellie retorted. "It ain't like you 'aven't done it before."

I took another step forwards, shaking with pure anger, but David put a restraining hand on my shoulder.

"Come on, Niamh," he said softly. "Sweeney's waiting for you."

The thought of Sweeney calmed me down. Glaring at Nellie, I pushed her to the side and stormed out of the toilets.

Sweeney didn't look to pleased to see me leave with David, but didn't say anything. Instead, he held his hand out for me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"You should be," Nellie said, having followed me. "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bads news, love, but you 'ave to know."

I spun around. "Shut up, Nellie."

"No, I ain't gonna let you sneak around like this and 'urt 'im any more." Nellie looked up at Sweeney. "Mr T, love, Niamh's been 'aving it away with David."

"No I haven't!" I cried. "Sweeney, you have to belief me, I haven't."

"Then why were you two in the toilet, 'ugging?"

"Shut up, Nellie!"

"Dude, listen, nothing happened," David said.

Sweeney stared down at me, and I could see the hurt in his eyes.

Fury took over me.

Releasing his hand, I spun around to face Nellie, who was smirking triumphantly.

"I hate you," I whispered. "I hate you."

I felt nothing but pure anger and hatred as I rushed forwards, grabbing handfuls of Nellie's curly hair and pulling as hard as I could. She screamed and clawed at my wrists, sending the both of us tumbling to the floor.

"Niamh, stop it!"

Someone tried to pull me away, but I slapped their hand away as I straddled Nellie.

"You bitch!" I screamed, thumping her as hard as I could. "I hate you!"

"_Niamh_!" someone screamed.

A pair of strong hands grabbed my arms, yanking me up. I struggled as hard as I could, thrashing about whoever was holding me wrapped their arms around my waist and pulled me away.

My anger only increased when Nellie sat up, now sporting a bloody nose, and smirked at me.

"Let go of me!" I yelled.

I continued to struggle as I was taken outside. I was finally released, and I rushed towards the door the moment my feet hit the ground.

Whoever was holding me grabbed hold of my arms, pulling me back and pushing me against the wall.

I stopped struggling for a moment.

"Sweeney?"

He held onto my arms, pinning them to my sides, and tightened his grip when I struggled against him.

"Stop it," he ordered.

"Let me go," I snapped back furiously.

"No."

I glared at him furiously. "You're hurting me."

Usually, this caused Sweeney to release me immediately. Now, however, he didn't even loosen his grip.

"Please let go," I pleaded softly. Sweeney loosened his grip, but only slightly.

Tears sprung to my eyes as I slumped against the wall, closing my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

My eyes snapped open. Frowning, I straightened up.

"What do you mean?"

"What are you sorry for?" Sweeney asked, his eyes boring into mine. I pushed him away.

"You dick," I hissed. "You actually believe her, don't you? You actually think that I'm having an affair?"

"It wouldn't be the first time," he said.

I flinched.

"That was a mistake," I whispered. "For God's sake, Sweeney, I married you! We have a frickin' child! I _love_you."

"You don't know the meaning of the word," he sneered, his lips tilting into a sarcastic smile.

* * *

_"Please, Sweeney..." I whispered. "I love you."_

_For a moment, something in Sweeney's eyes changed. It was a tiny flicker of something..._

_Love. _

_But it was replaced with the hard, cold look as his lips tilted into a sarcastic smile._

_I stared at him._

_The boy. _

_He looked just like the little boy from across the road._

_"You don't know the meaning of the word."_

* * *

I glared at him, taking a step forwards.

"How dare you," I said. "How _dare_ you say I don't know the meaning of love. It's you, Sweeney. It's you who doesn't know the meaning, because if you really loved me, you'd believe me over that bitch!"

Sweeney sneered at me before turning away.

"Don't walk away from me, Sweeney!"

He stopped before turning back to face me.

"Don't do this, Sweeney," I pleaded softly, now crying. "Not now. I need you."

"I'm sure that David will satisfy your needs."

I flinched.

"Why are you being so cruel?"

Sweeney walked forwards, and I took a step backwards, hitting the wall.

"I'm not the one who is cruel," he hissed, trapping me by putting a hand either side of me. "You are the one who is cruel, letting me think that you loved me when sleeping with another man."

"I love you," I whispered, staring deep into his eyes. "I love you so much, Sweeney. Please."

I reached out to touch his face, and he took a step back before my fingertips could meet his skin.

"Don't touch me."

More tears sprung to my eyes, but I blinked them away stubbornly.

"I'll get a lift home," I said shakily. "Because I left my car. I'll pack my things. Robyn and I will spend the night with Theo and Anna."

"Robyn is staying with me."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Your temper is volatile," Sweeney scorned.

"I would never hurt Robyn though . . . "

"You can pick her up tomorrow. Tonight she stays at home."

Without another word, Sweeney walked away.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as my knees gave way; I slid to the ground, crying hysterically.

I watched Anthony and Johanna leave the studio, both of them avoiding looking at me as they quickly followed Sweeney.

"Come on, Niamh."

I glared at David feebly. "Great," I sobbed. "This is only going to look worse."

"I know, but I don't care. Come on."

David helped me up, wrapping an arm around me as he guided me across the car park. I leant against him, sobbing.

Seeing Nellie leave the studio, I gently pushed David away and walked over to her. She glared at me.

"Don't you dare 'it me again, or I'll - "

"I hope you're happy," I interupted. "Sweeney believes you. I've been kicked out."

"Oh, well, that serves you right."

I frowned. "Are you really that obssesed with my husband that you're willing to break up our marriage? Because it's not just our lives you're ruining. Anthony, Johanna and Robyn are involved as well."

Nellie frowned; she obviously didn't think about that.

"I - "

"Don't try and defend yourself. There's no point." I stared at her, a tear slowly trickling down my cheek. "Well done, Nellie. You've won."

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Miss Magenta Lestrange, babyvfan and Oprah Noodlemantra for reviewing. Were any of you expecting that?

And, yes, Nellie really is that obsessed with Sweeney :L well, she did lie to him about the death of his first wife because she was so in love with him.

My AIW fic has also been updated, in case anyone is following it/curious :')


	17. Me With No You

_**Chapter Seventeen  
**__**Me With No You**_

_I'm a circle incomplete  
__I'm a heart that barely beats  
__All the memories stay forever like tattoos  
__I'm a star without a sky  
__I'm hello with no goodbye  
__I'm the the dreams we had that never will come true  
__That's me with no you  
__~Me With No You, Bowling For Soup_

* * *

I woke up alone.

I didn't sleep well.

As promised, I went to Theo and Anna's. They let me stay after I explained the situation to them, but at around half eleven I woke up crying for my Mum. So, being the brilliant friends that they are, Anna drove me to my Mum's.

Now I was lying in my childhood bed, surrounded by my teenage belongings, alone.

With no Sweeney.

Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought, and I had to hug my pillow to supress the overwhelming urge to wail.

I couldn't keep crying. Not if I wanted to prove to Sweeney that my - _our _daughter had to stay with me.

I briefly wondered how Robyn was last night.

Was she playing up because I wasn't there? Was she crying because I couldn't pick her up and give her a cuddle?

Or was she happy? Was she happy because she had her Dad and Anthony and Johanna.

And Nellie.

Maybe she had Nellie, now, she pick her up and cuddle her and make a fuss over her.

The very thought made me feel sick.

Suddenly, actual nasuea washed over me. Jumping up, I bolted to the bathroom.

* * *

"Oh, morning darling," Mum said, looking suprised when she walked into the living room. "I didn't expect you to be up yet."

"Couldn't sleep," I mumbled, refusing to look away from the TV. I was watching Bronagh's recordings of The Big Bang Theory.

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"Not hungry."

Mum frowned at me. "You've got to eat something."

I didn't answer.

"Niamh Olivia Todd, you will eat something even if I have to force it down your throat."

I glared at her. "Toast." She raised an eyebrow. "Please."

Mum smiled and disappeared into the kitchen, taking the many carrier bags she held with her.

The great thing about Mum was that, no matter how crappy I felt, she could always make me feel better by just acting normal. She didn't try to make me talk about how I felt or how I spent hours crying in her arms last night.

Instead, she fussed about me eating properly.

"I threw up this morning," I told her when she handed me a plate, piled high with toast.

"That's understandable. You have been looking rather peaky."

"I think I'm pregnant again."

Mum sighed sadly, taking my hand and squeezing.

"Have you done a test?"

I shook my head.

"Right, well, I'll pick one up for you when I go out."

"Where are you going?" I asked, feeling like a child.

"To fetch my granddaughter, of course. She isn't living in a house without her mother."

I smiled weakly. "Thanks, Mum."

"No worries." She kissed my forehead. "Now, eat up."

As I nibbled on my toast, I thought about the possibility of being pregnant.

It couldn't be a worse time if I was.

If I was, I couldn't do what I did last time Sweeney and I broke up and announce it in the middle of a fight. Somehow, I knew that would not go well.

Would he believe me, though?

He believed that I was having an affair, for God's sake. Why would he believe that the baby is his?

A tear trickled down my cheek, but I brushed it away before Mum could see.

Today was going to be a long day.

After finishing breakfast, Mum went to pick Robyn up and I stayed curled up on the sofa, barely moving.

I only got up when I heard the doorbell ring.

Hope rushed through me. Scrambling up, I ran to the door in hope that it might be Sweeney waiting on the other side.

"Oh." Disappointment replaced the hope. "It's you."

"Hello to you too," Tim retorted.

I moved to one side to let him in.

Suddenly, tears sprung to my eyes.

"Oh, Niamh," Tim said uncomfortably. He stepped in, shut the door and put an arm around me. "Come on."

He led me to the living room and offered to make me a cup of coffee. The thought made me feel sick, so he got me a glass of water instead.

"Sorry," I said miserably, still crying. "I didn't have much sleep."

"I can tell."

I glared at him feebly.

"Look, I can't stay long. I've just come to tell you that, despite attacking her, we've managed to convince Nellie not to press charges."

I frowned.

Why did she agree to that?

Surely Nellie would love to see me getting locked up for assualt; she could comfort Sweeney for the loss of his wife.

"You could at least pretend to be grateful."

"I am, sorry," I said quickly. "Thanks. I'm just . . . confused."

"Yes, well, I'm also sorry to say that you have to apologise to her."

"What?"

Tim nodded. "It's for the good of the cast, Niamh. I can't let you back in until you've apologised to her."

I scowled. I could understand Tim's reasoning.

I just didn't like it.

"Can't you just kick her out?"

"Nellie isn't the one in the wrong."

"Oh yeah, she only accused me of having an affair and destroyed my marriage!" I cried, standing up. Tim also stood up.

"Apologise," he said sternly. "Or you're dropped from the performance. It's your choice, Niamh."

* * *

I hated this.

I hated not being with Sweeney.

I hated not cuddling Robyn.

I hated not talking to Johanna.

I hated not advising Anthony on how to handle children.

But most of all, I hated it that my life was being dictated by a bitch from my husband's past. If she hadn't turned up that day, then none of this would've happened. I'd be with Sweeney and Anthony and Johanna.

I'd be with my family.

Obviously Mum was my family, but it wasn't the same.

I wanted Sweeney.

Lying on the sofa, I flicked through the photos on my camera. I finally came to the last one, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.

It was one taken on Robyn's birthday, one that I hadn't noticed had been taken.

It was of Sweeney and I, standing together in the sun. We were facing each other, his fingertips on my cheek while I gazed up at him. He was gazing back at me, his eyes intense and full of love.

How could a man that looked at me like that suddenly become so cruel?

I turned the camera off and stuffed it behind a cushion when I heard the front door opening, quickly pretending to be watching the TV.

"Niamh, I'm home," Mum called. "And I have a couple of visitors."

I frowned, looking up.

"Robyn!"

Jumping up, I ran across the room and snatched my daughter from Mum, hugging her. I held her close, kissing her and telling her everything would be ok, that I still loved her.

"Hello, Niamh."

I looked up, still hugging Robyn, and a wide smile spread across my face.

"Anthony," I breathed. "Johanna. What are you doing here?"

"We came to see you," Anthony explained.

"We miss you!" Johanna said. Sighing, I transferred Robyn onto my hip and held out my free arm. Johanna rushed forwards immediately, hugging me.

"I miss you too," I mumbled. "All of you."

"Mr Todd misses you. He barely slept last night."

"Oh Niamh, it's awful. Father looked so upset yesterday."

"I'm not feeling too good myself, actually."

I sat down with Robyn on my lap. Johanna sat next to me and Anthony sat on an armchair. Mum, I noticed, had left us to it.

"Look, I haven't been having an affair," I told them bluntly. "I love Sweeney way too much to mess things up."

"We know," Johanna said quietly, leaning against me.

"Mrs Lovett came last night," Anthony told me.

"What?"

"Father threw her out. He told her that he wanted nothing more to do with her."

"Really?"

Johanna nodded eagerly.

"Hey, could you give me a minute?"

Still carrying Robyn, I left the room through the back door and took out my mobile. Scrolling through my contacts, I found the number I was looking for and hit dial.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tim," I said. "Can you give me Nellie's address, please?"

"Why?" Tim asked suspiciously.

"Because," I replied with a wide grin. "I've made my choice."

* * *

Thank you Miss Magenta Lestrange, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx, JohnnyDeppIsMine, CadyD, music is life 99, babyvfan, Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd, MahFrehndsArShine and Oprah Noodlemantra for reviewing!

Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd: Niamh's name is pronounced as Neeve :')

Subterfuge, my AIW fic, has also been updated! Chapter three is up!


	18. The Final Sacrifice

_**Chapter Eighteen  
**__**The Final Sacrifice**_

_I must become a lion hearted girl  
__Ready for a fight  
__Before I make the final sacrifice  
~Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), Florence + The Machine_

* * *

I was pregnant.

Great.

Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled about it, but this couldn't have occured at a worse time.

I sat in my car outside Nellie's house, staring at the pregnancy test in my hands. I'd tried it yesterday evening, and I still couldn't get my head around it.

Oh well. At least I had something to throw in Nellie's face.

I was having Sweeney's second baby when she hadn't even kissed him.

I groaned, running a hand through my hair and resting my head on the steering wheel. What the hell was wrong with me?

I was turning into such a bitch, and I didn't even know why.

Was it my fault that Sweeney and I broke up?

Maybe, just maybe, if I hadn't got so worked up over Nellie, so jealous of her presence in Sweeney's life, then I wouldn't have hit her. Sweeney and I would be together, celebrating our second baby.

I rested a hand on my still flat stomach. I couldn't think about these things, not now.

Not yet.

A smile flickered on my faces as I considered the baby. Would it be the boy I so desired during my first pregnancy?

"Yes," I whispered to myself. I know I was wrong about Robyn, but I had a gut feeling that the baby in my womb was a boy.

My little Liam Sweeney Todd.

I grinned, wondering how Sweeney would react when I told him that his name would be our son's middle name. He wouldn't be too thrilled, but I'd persuade him.

"You just keep growing, little man," I said. "Get big and healthy like your sister."

I put the pregnancy test in my bag and turned to face Nellie's house, taking in a deep breath.

This was it.

I picked my bag up and got out of the car, locking it before crossing the street. Nellie's front garden was fairly nice, but had no real personality to it. I felt slightly smug when I thought about the flowers growing in my front garden.

I knocked on the door, half of me hoping that she wasn't it, so I could delay this ordeal by another day or so.

No such luck; the door opened.

"Oh." Nellie folded her arms. "Tim warned me about you."

"Did he?"

"Yes. I didn't actually think you'd turn up, though."

Anger boiled inside me, but I quickly supressed it, taking in a deep breath.

"Yes, well, I am. Can I come in?"

Nellie looked as if she was considering saying no, but let out a heavy sigh as she stepped to the side. I thanked her quietly and stepped into her hallway.

I took a few steps forwards, and Nellie directed me to the living room.

"You can sit down," she said reluctantly.

"Thank you." I took a seat in an armchair, knowing that if I sat on the sofa, she'd likely sit next to me.

"Do you want a drink?"

"No, thanks."

Nellie raised an eyebrow and sat on the sofa opposite me, one leg crossed over the other.

"You're being awful polite," she said. I didn't say anything. "Well, what do you want?"

"To apologise."

Even I was taken aback by the sincerity in my voice; Nellie frowned at me.

"What?"

"I want to apologise," I said. "I was totally out of order, hitting you like that. It was really uncalled for."

"It was."

I glared at Nellie. "Nellie, please, I am trying my hardest to actually be a grown up for once in my life," I said. "Please don't make it any harder than it already is."

Nellie smirked, leaning back in her seat.

"'Ow is David, then?"

"I wouldn't know," I said truthfully. "I've been sleeping at my mother's house."

She looked mildly confused, but disguised it quickly. Not too quickly, however, for me to see.

"I wasn't having an affair," I said. "Yes, at one point, I was unfaithful to Sweeney. Yes, it was David. But I would never so stupid as to throw everything I have away just for a bit of fun!"

"Is that all 'e is to you? A bit of fun?"

I could tell that Nellie was trying to make me angry again, possibly so I'd attack her and she could actually press charges.

It was tempting, I won't lie, but the very thought of the baby in my womb stopped me.

"He was. But now I'm grown up enough to truly and properly appreciate David for what he is."

"And that is?"

"A friend," I said. "A kind, trusting, loving friend that I care for deeply. I do love him, but not in the way I love Sweeney." I sighed. "And certainly not in the way that makes me want to sleep with him."

Nellie frowned, staring at me thoughtfully. I blushed, looking away.

"Why do you 'ate me so much?" she asked suddenly, and I could only stare at her for a minute as I tried to comprehend the question.

"I don't," I said carefully. "Not really."

She frowned again.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I stood up and began to pace.

"I don't hate _you. _I hate it that you have such a history with Sweeney and a relationship with him that I will never have. I know everything that you two have been through together and I hate it."

Nellie looked as if she was going to interject, but I continued to talk, my pacing getting quicker.

"I hate you, but I don't hate you, because you're a frickin' woman! I mean, look at you!" I made a wild gesture at her as I continued to pace. "You have a figure, you have _boobs._ I'm just a kid, really."

"And still 'e loves you."

"I _know_ and I don't know why!" I cried. "But I love him more than anything I've ever loved before and I'm so grateful that he loves me back."

I fell into the armchair, blinking away the tears.

"At least," I mumbled. "He _did _before you came along."

Nellie frowned before standing up. I flinched automatically, wondering if she was going to attack me the way I attacked her, but she walked out of the living room.

After a moment, she came back with two large glasses of wine.

"Thanks," I said, taking the offered glass from her. I took a large mouthful before remembering my current condition and spitting it back into the glass.

Nellie didn't look impressed.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "I just . . . don't like the taste."

She obviously didn't believe me, but didn't say anything.

I watched her as she sipped her wine, frowning. Now I was up close, actually taking the time to look at her, I realised something.

She looked so . . . tired.

Her skin was so pale and there were large, dark circles underneath her eyes. She was tired, just like me.

"I hate you because you love Sweeney," I finally said. "And I love him too much for someone else to love him."

"Oh love," Nellie sighed. "'E'll never love me the way 'e loves you."

"Loved."

"_Loves._" Nellie took on a tone that reminded me very much of my mother's when she told me off. "I've seen the way that man looks at you. 'E ain't looked at anybody like that since . . . "

"Since Lucy."

She stared at me.

"I told you, he told me everything." I allowed myself a small grin. "Even about your little . . . business. Which is totally disgusting, by the way. Were you smoking something?"

"No, just driven by love."

"Yeah, I know how that feels," I mumbled, taking a mouthful of wine. I grimaced, remembering my condition _again,_ and spat it back out. "Can you take this away from me, please? I'll just keep doing that if not."

Nellie chuckled and took the offending glass from me. I scowled at my stomach, cursing the baby for depriving me of alcohol for another nine months.

"You know," she said thoughtfully. "If we weren't both in love with Mr T, we could be good friends."

I smiled. "Yeah, I think we could."

The weird thing was, I meant it.

I was only jealous of her because she loved Sweeney. If Sweeney wasn't a problem, then Nellie and I actually could've got on really well.

Kinda like we were now.

"We still could."

Nellie looked at me doubtfully. "Really, love?"

I shrugged. "You accused me of having an affair, I gave you a nose bleed. We're kinda even."

"I never thought about it in that way," she said, grinning as she took another sip of wine. I grinned back, my hand resting on my stomach.

"Look, Nellie, if Sweeney and I break up for good . . . " I sighed, not really able to believe that I was saying this. "I want you to make him happy."

Excitement and happiness immediately shone in Nellie's eyes, but she was decent enough to try and hide it. For that, I was grateful.

"In any other world, you two could be really happy," I continued. "I'm only going to ask one thing, though."

"What?"

"Just don't . . . flaunt it. I'm not sure if I can handle that."

"I can understand that, love," Nellie said reasonably. "Still, there is a chance that you'll work things out."

"A very small chance."

Nellie looked guilty. "I'll talk to 'im, love."

"And say what?"

"That I got it wrong." Nellie grinned. "Don't worry, 'e'll listen to me."

I groaned, standing up. "Please Nellie, I'm feeling sensitive right now. I don't need visuals in my mind."

She laughed. "I'm only teasing."

I laughed and asked for directions to the bathroom; having a baby, no matter how small and undeveloped, pressing on your bladder meant that you had to empty it a lot more often.

The bathroom was upstairs and, after doing what I had to do, I grinned at my reflection in the mirror while I washed my hands.

"Things are going to be ok," I said to myself.

I looked down at my stomach, lifting my shirt and pressing a hand against the bare skin.

I was pregnant.

I dried my hands and left the bathroom, feeling happier than I had done for what felt like years.

Things were going to be ok.

I misjudged my step, my foot brushing against the edge of the step. I tumbled forwards, rolling down the stairs and hitting the ground with such impact that it made a loud crash. Pain erupted in my head and in my abdomen as I lay on the floor, struggling to move.

"Niamh? Oh my God, Niamh!"

Nellie's shadow fell over me, but I barely noticed as my eyelids slid shut.

My last thought was of my unborn baby before everything went black.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Miss Magenta Lestrange, babyvfan, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, Oprah Noodlemantra, Comfortably Plump and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnight for reviewing!

So I had my taster day at Sixth Form college today, where I will resume my studies, and I learned today that, in Psychology, we will be learning about the minds of serial killers.

Of course, I had a moment of fangirl madness and realised that I could potentially analyse Sweeney Todd's mind :')


	19. Just Close Your Eyes

_**Chapter Nineteen  
**__**Just Close Your Eyes**_

_Just close your eyes  
__The sun is going down  
__You'll be alright  
__No one can hurt you now  
__Come morning light  
__You and I'll be safe and sound  
~Safe and Sound, Taylor Swift feat. The Civil Wars_

* * *

I'm walking.

I remember this place and I remember walking. Just as I remember, there are voices.

_I remind you of a small mammal infamous for the smell it secretes when threatened?_

_I'm Nellie, Nellie Lovett._

_You know about _all_ my talents._

_Please accept my most humble apologies._

_Please, I'm not mad, I swear!_

_I have no real connection with Nellie or Johanna. They're just two women who happen to be part of my husband's life._

_I was so scared that you weren't coming home._

_Well, I've always found Mr T to be like a closed book._

_You are the one who is cruel, letting me think that you loved me when sleeping with another man._

_I've made my choice._

_Niamh? Oh my God, Niamh!_

Tears spring to my cheeks as I see the child in front of me.

It isn't a girl. It isn't Robyn.

It's a boy.

He's so tiny. He's a baby.

And he's so beautiful.

He looks so much like Sweeney that it hurts when I kneel in front of him, gently lifting him from the bundle he's lying on. He squirms, but then snuggles into me and yawns.

A tear trickles down my cheek.

This is my baby boy.

My son.

"Liam Sweeney Todd," I whisper, crying as I hug him. "I love you."

I kiss his forehead and then he disappears.

Everything goes black.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of beeping.

I was lying in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. My head hurt and my stomach was killing me.

"Oh Niamh, love, you're awake!"

I rolled over and looked at Nellie. She was sitting next to my bed, looking scared and -

"Have you been crying?" I asked her, my voice hoarse.

"No," she muttered, wiping her cheeks with her hands. I frowned, sitting up.

"Ow." I pressed my hand against my stomach, my forehead creasing as pain shot through it. Horror suddenly washed through me. "Nellie . . . "

"You need to talk to the doctor, love," she said, avoiding eye contact as she stood up. "I'll go tell 'im that you're awake."

"Nellie."

"I won't be a minute."

"Nellie!"

She ignored my plea and left the room, the door swinging shut behind her. I scowled, falling back against my pillow and glaring at the heart rate monitor. God, that beeping was so annoying.

Why was I in hospital?

The last thing I remembered was being at Nellie's house and . . . falling.

"Oh God," I whispered.

I looked up as the door opened, and a young doctor walked in. He was rather good looking, but looked about sixteen. I snorted.

"You're my doctor? How old are you, twelve?"

He laughed good naturedly. "I'm afraid you're ten years off, Niamh," he said, making a note on the clipboard at the end of my bed.

"Huh," I mumbled.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," I said bluntly. "What happened?"

"You had quite a tumble. You've suffered a severe bump to the head and possible concusion, but we're keeping you under observation for that."

"What about my baby?"

The doctor suddenly looked quite serious as he regarded me. I stared up at him anxiously, waiting.

"I'm very sorry to tell you this, Niamh, but the fall caused a miscarriage."

I could suddenly feel my whole world crashing down around me as I stared at him.

I barely listened to another word he said, unable to tear my thoughts away from my baby. My baby boy.

Gone.

When the doctor left, Nellie soon took his place. Looking pale, she sat by my bed.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, crying.

"I thought it would be best coming from a professional," she mumbled. "Oh, love, I 'ad no idea that you were pregnant."

"I only found out this morning."

And now I wasn't.

Because my baby boy was dead.

I let out a noise that sounded like a wounded animal, crying. Nellie quickly jumped up and perched on my bed, wrapping her arms around me as I cried into her chest.

* * *

Mum sat next to my bed, gently stroking my hair as I lay on my side. She didn't say anything and neither did I.

Each time someone passed the door, I looked up hopefully.

Just in case.

"Niamh, I hate to say this, but I don't think that he's coming," Mum said softly.

"Yes, he is," I mumbled.

She frowned, but didn't say anything else as she continued to stroke my hair.

Sweeney was going to come.

Not even Sweeney Todd was so heartless as to ignore the fact that his wife was in hospital.

That his child was dead.

Not even him.

So I waited hopefully.

I must've fallen asleep at one point, because my eyes slowly flickered open. It was too dark to see who was sitting next to my bed, but I presumed it to be Mum.

"Mum," I mumbled sleepily, trying to sit up. A strong hand rested on my shoulder, gently pushing me back down.

"The doctor said to stay rested," a familiar voice said softly.

"Sweeney?"

I stared up at him hopefully, unable to supress the wide smile that spread across my face when I looked at him. I studied his face greedily, taking in the beautiful features I'd been deprived of for so long.

He looked sad.

Without saying anythng, he removed his hand from my shoulder and stood up. He was leaving.

"No," I pleaded. "Don't go. Please don't go."

He stopped, looking at me. I gazed up at him.

He sat back down.

I held out my hand for him and, after a moment, he took it. I clung to him, his hand cold against mine, and gently tugged him onto the bed. He obliged silently, letting me pull him around like a rag doll.

"Stay with me," I begged when he sat down.

"Of course," he muttered mechanically.

I kept hold of his hand, refusing to let go of him as I leaned against him, resting my head on his chest.

He didn't hold me or hug me. He barely even touched me.

But, after a long minute of silence, he gently kissed my forehead.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as an understanding was made between us. I knew he wasn't going to be there in the morning when I woke up, and so clung to this moment for as long as I could.

"Go to sleep," he ordered, but not unkindly.

"No," I muttered stubbornly.

"Niamh."

I savoured the way he said my name, filled with exasperation at my childlike behaviour.

"I want to stay awake," I said.

He sighed, but didn't complain. I snuggled into him.

"I'm so sorry."

He was silent. Tears began rolling down my cheeks.

"Our baby is dead," I whispered. "I was pregnant."

"Our baby," he repeated bitterly, and I realised that he still believed in my affair with David.

"Our baby boy. Remember how when I was pregnant with Robyn, and I thought that she was a boy? This one I was certain was going to be a boy."

He remained silent. I clung to his hand harder, wondering if it hurt him.

"I was going to call him Liam," I continued, still crying. "Liam Sweeney Todd. After his granddad and his dad. And he was going to be so beautiful."

My eyelids felt heavy, but I fought with them stubbornly. If I fell asleep now, the moment would be over.

"Go to sleep," he repeated.

I thought about arguing, but decided against it. It wasn't worth it. Not now."

"Sweeney."

"Yes?"

"I love you," I murmured, yawning and shutting my eyes.

I waited for his response.

"I know."

Pain ripped through me as I slowly fell asleep, and I savoured it. Pain meant that I was alive, that I was feeling.

It may have been my desperation, or it may have been my imagination, but as I fell asleep, I could've sworn that I heard Sweeney whisper, "I love you too."

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, babyvfan, Comfortably Plump, Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and my two anonymous reviewers for reviewing!

Sorry for the long wait; I've had a severe case of writer's block due to the excitement of my prom on Friday! Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to be written!


	20. Take Me Back To The Start

_**Chapter Twenty  
Take Me Back To The Start**_

_Nobody said it was easy  
__It's such a shame for us to part  
__Nobody said it was easy  
__No one ever said it would be this hard  
__Oh, take me back to the start.  
~The Scientist, Coldplay_

* * *

Everyone stared at me when I opened the door to the studio. I ignored them as I put my bag down and took my coat off.

"Hey."

I looked up and smiled at David. "Hey," I said softly.

"I heard that you were in hospital." He smiled sadly. "I'm really sorry, Niamh."

I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. Instead, I shut my mouth and smiled back at him.

David pulled me into a tight hug when I didn't reply, which I gratefully returned. I felt warm and safe in his arms.

"I'm always here for you," he whispered in my ear. He kissed the top of my head.

Pulling away, I took his hand and smiled.

"I know."

Gently squeezing his hand, I released him and walked to the kitchen. Nellie was already there.

"Hi," I said, shutting the door behind me.

"'Ello, love. Want a cup of coffee?"

"I would love one, thanks."

While the kettle boiled, I perched on one of the counters, my legs swinging slightly.

"'Ow are you feeling?" Nellie asked, looking at me. I shrugged.

"Fine. I guess."

She raised an eyebrow and I grinned sheepishly.

"I'm trying not to let it affect this." I made a wild hand gesture.

"Your life?"

"My job," I corrected. Nellie snorted loudly.

"You 'ave to grieve, love. It ain't 'ealthy, bottling up all your emotions."

"I know." I swallowed. "I really know. This is the second miscarriage I've had."

"Oh, love," she gasped, looking horrified. I blinked away the tears that had sprung to my eyes and hopped down from the counter, taking out two mugs.

"So, dress rehearsal today," I said, putting on a false excited tone. "It should be interesting."

"Niamh."

"What is it exactly that you're going to do to help out?" I poured the hot water into the mugs.

"Niamh."

"I don't want to talk about it, Nellie," I said, handing her mug. "Please. If I talk about it, I'll cry. And I don't want to cry. Not now."

Nellie looked at me sternly, once again reminding me of my Mum, before finally nodding.

"Alright, love," she said. "Come on."

She led me back into the studio, and I followed her to some spare chairs. I sat next to her, causing yet even more stares. As we sipped our coffee, we occasionally exchanged small smiles.

The staring stopped when Tim appeared on stage, demanding our undivided attention.

"We're doing a dress rehearsal today," he announced. "Chorus, you will sort yourselves out. Main cast, Helena will assist you in changing into your costumes."

I stood up, about to walk over to Helena, but Tim called my name.

"Yeah?" I asked. He got down from the stage.

"I'm proud of you, kid," he said suddenly. I frowned at him.

"Who are you and want have you done with the real Tim?"

Tim rolled his eyes. "I'm being serious, Niamh. I'm glad that you and Nellie have sorted out your differences."

I looked over my shoulder at Nellie, who was helping Helena with the costumes, and smiled. "Yeah, so am I."

"How are things going with Sweeney?" he asked softly so no one would hear.

"Not good."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Tim gently chucked me under the chin and grinned. "You'll do fine today."

"Thanks, Tim." I grinned at him.

"Go on, get off with you. And no more strops about your costume."

Laughing, I walked across the studio to where Helena, Nellie and the others were. Helena handed me my costume, which I put on without any complaints, and Nellie sat me down to do my make up.

Maybe it wouldn't be that hard.

* * *

Scowling, I threw my hat on the floor as I stormed across the studio.

"Niamh, come back," David called.

"No."

Grabbing my clothes, I stormed into the toilets. I was stripping down from my costume when Nellie walked in.

"Go away," I snapped at her, throwing the leggings on the floor.

"Niamh, love, come back and try again."

"What's the point? I'll just mess things up again."

"You won't."

"Nellie, were you watching me?" I yanked my jeans on, struggling to button them up because my hands were shaking so much. "I was awful."

"You weren't. You just forgot a couple of lines."

"A couple of lines? Nellie, I couldn't remember anything! I even screwed up the songs!"

I unbuttoned my shirt and that joined the pile of clothes on the floor. I pulled on my baggy t-shirt and wiped the tears away as they rolled down my cheeks.

"Nellie, I've screwed up so badly," I said.

"It ain't that bad."

"Not this!" I perched on the edge of the sink and pulled my socks on. "Everything! I've screwed everything up!"

"You ain't, love," Nellie said softly.

"Yes, I really have." I stuffed my feet into my shoes, hurridedly tying up the laces. "I've screwed up my entire life. My husband hates me. I'm crap at my job. My baby is _dead_. Everything is going _wrong._"

I was crying hysterically when Nellie walked forwards and hugged me.

I clung to her and buried my face in her shoulder. For the second time, she held me while I cried.

* * *

"You ought to eat something," Mum pleaded.

"I'm not hungry."

"At least have some toast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Niamh Olivia Todd - "

"Quinn," I said miserably. "He doesn't love me. We aren't married. Not properly. Not anymore."

Mum looked at me with a sympathetic frown, gently stroking my hair. I jerked my head away.

"I'm not a dog."

Hurt flashed in her eyes, but it was quickly disguised as Mum stood up.

"No, of course not," she said quietly, walking away. I opened my mouth to stop her, but couldn't find the words for the second time of the day. Sighing, I curled up and stared at the TV blankly.

At the sound of the doorbell, I stood up and called, "I'll get it."

"Alright," Mum called back from upstairs.

Running a hand through my hair, I shuffled into the front hall and opened the door, not sure as to who I was expecting to be there. Whoever it was, I wasn't expecting the person standing in front of me.

"Sweeney," I whispered, staring at him.

He looked back at me with expressionless eyes, his jaw clenched.

"We need to talk."

* * *

Thank you Comfortably Plump, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx, Oprah Noodlemantra, CadyD and Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd for reviewing :')

Prom last night was absolutely amazing; I had such a great, and slightly emotional, night saying goodbye to everybody. I am now, however, incredibly exhausted having spent nearly all night dancing like a fool!


	21. We Just Wanna Be Whole

_**Chapter Twenty One  
**__**We Just Wanna Be Whole**_

_I've been waiting for the sun  
__With my wide eyes  
__I've seen worlds that don't belong  
__My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize  
__Tell me why we live like this_

_. . . _

_Yeah  
__'Cause we are broken  
__What must we do to restore  
__Our innocence  
__And oh, the promise we adored  
__Give us life again  
__'Cause we just wanna be whole  
__~We Are Broken, Paramore_

* * *

"Erm . . . come in," I said, stepping to the side. Sweeney did, walking past me and into the living room.

Joy rushed through me; Sweeney was here! Sweeney had come to talk to me!

Maybe I was forgiven. Maybe he had come to apologise for saying all those cruel things and beg me to come home with him because he loved and missed me.

"Who is it?" Mum hissed from the top of the stairs.

"Sweeney," I whispered. Her eyes widened, her mouth forming an 'o'.

"I'll stay up here," she promised, disappearing.

I grinned, shaking my head, before remembering that Sweeney was in the living room, waiting for me. I ran a hand through my hair and wished I had some make up on as I walked back into the living room.

Sweeney was standing by the window, his back turned to me, and apparently didn't hear me come in. I cleared my throat.

"You can sit down if you want," I said.

He remained standing, so I did as well.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked, feeling rather awkward.

"No." He hesitated before adding, "Thank you."

Silence loomed over us as neither of us knew what to say. I looked away, unable to meet his penetrating gaze.

I missed him so much, and yet, now he was standing in front of me, I had nothing to say to him. It was ridiculous.

"So . . . what do you want to talk about?"

Sweeney continued to regard me for a moment before finally speaking.

"Mrs Lovett visited me this afternoon," he said. My stomach twisted uncomfortably.

"She . . . she did?"

What had she said?

Did she, as promised, tell Sweeney that she'd made a mistake about the affair? Or did she stab me in the back and tell him that David and I were planning a new life together?

"Yes."

Sweeney made it clear thsat he wasn't going to elaborate on his own.

Swallowing, I hesitantly asked, "What did she say?"

"That she made a mistake."

My heart lifted as I stared at Sweeney. "She actually said that?"

Sweeney nodded once.

"Do you believe her?" I asked hopefully.

Sweeney hesitated for a moment, and in that hesitation all my hopes were gone.

"You don't," I said flatly. "Even after she admits she made a mistake, you still don't believe that I wasn't having an affair."

I wrapped my arms around myself, tears springing to my eyes.

"You're not exactly an angel either," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Do you not remember all the nasty things you said to me? You accused me of having an affair. You told me that I don't know the meaning of love. You practically called me a whore!"

Sweeney strode forwards so he was looming over me. I wanted to step back, but kept my nerve as I glared up at him.

"I thought you were unfaithful," he hissed furiously.

"And I thought that you loved me," I snapped back. "If you really loved me, you wouldn't have believed Nellie."

"Niamh - "

"No, Sweeney. You have no idea what I've been through. I had a miscarriage and you visited me _once _in the hospital. My Mum has been looking after Robyn because I can't. I was on my own, Sweeney, when I most needed you. But you weren't there because you thought I was having a frickin' affair!"

"What do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know!" I cried, throwing my hands in the air.

Silence fell once more as we both stared at each other helplessly. I turned away first, wrapping my ams around myself again and blinking away the tears that had sprung to my eyes.

"What did you come here to talk about? Or was that it?"

"Mrs Lovett was under the impression that I should give you another chance," Sweeney muttered. I spun around.

"Give _me _another chance? What about me giving _you_ another chance?"

Sweeney frowned at me.

"Maybe I don't want to married to a man who thinks I'm having an affair," I retorted childishly.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want to be married to me?"

"Yes," I said quietly. "More than anything."

Sweeney reached forwards, as if to embrace me, but then dropped his hand to his side.

"What do you suggest we do?" he repeated quietly.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "I don't know. Start again?"

"How so?"

My mind was reeling with ideas, so much so that it took me a moment to verbalise the words I wanted to say. Sweeney watched me, waiting patiently.

"We could meet up," I said slowly, my voice weak. "Next week. It can be like a first date."

"We're married and have a child," Sweeney said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Yes, well, we can forgot that just for one day." Sweeney smirked. "I'm trying to save our family, Sweeney, for God's sake, don't mock me!"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, so am I."

We stared at each other for a moment.

"Do you want to take Robyn?" I asked. "I mean, she's sleeping at the moment but if I can drop her off tomorrow. I can say hi to Anthony and Johanna as well."

"I would appreciate it."

I didn't add that I would as well; Robyn was getting very demanding, and as selfish as it sounded, I just needed a day or two to myself. At least she'd actually be with her Dad rather than her gran.

"I'll bring her over in the morning . . . maybe I can take Anthony and Johanna out for lunch?"

"I'm sure that they will accept the invitation."

"I hope they do." I tried a poor excuse for a grin. "I miss them."

_And you_, I silently added.

"They miss you."

"Do you?"

The words escaped my lips before I could stop myself; Sweeney looked at me with a frown. His mouth was open, but he seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

My cheeks turned red. I looked away, unable to meet his gaze any longer.

Why did I say _that_?

Of all the things, I had to say _that. _

"Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my arm and looking at the floor.

"Yes."

I looked up, hope rushing through me. For a moment, I could see it in his eyes. Love.

He looked away. "I should go."

"Oh, yeah." I tried not to feel to disappointed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sweeney looked mildly alarmed.

"I'm bringing Robyn over," I reminded him.

He nodded.

"I'll show you to the door."

I led Sweeney out into the hallway, opening the front door for him. He stepped outside, hesitating slightly as he turned to face me.

"Thank you for coming over," I said awkwardly. "I really appreciate it."

I leaned forwards slightly to kiss him, but the remembered. Blushing, I pulled away.

"Sorry," I whispered.

Sweeney looked at me with a solemn expression as he reached out, his fingertips brushing against my cheek. Automatically, I covered his hand with my own, leaning into his touch.

"I will see you tomorrow," he promised quietly, taking his hand away. My own hand dropped to my side.

"Sweeney," I called as he walked away, down the garden path.

He turned around, looking at me.

I wanted to run down the path and throw mysef into his arms, tell him how much I still loved him and kiss him. I wanted to do all these things, but didn't.

"Never mind," I said softly, shaking my head. "It was nice seeing you again."

His lips twitched into something that somewhat looked like a smile before he turned away, disappearing into the evening darkness. I watched him go, my own lips twitching slightly.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start.

* * *

Thank you Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx, babyvfan, Comfortably Plump, Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd and Guest for reviewing :')


	22. Tale As Old As Time

_**Chapter Twenty Two  
**__**Tale As Old As Time**_

_Tale as old as time  
__Tune as old as song  
__Bittersweet and strange  
__Finding you can change  
__Learning you were wrong  
__Certain as the sun  
__Rising in the east  
__Tale as old as time  
__Song as old as rhyme  
__Beauty and the Beast  
__~Beauty and the Beast, Beauty and the Beast soundtrack_

* * *

"You look beautiful."

A week had passed and it was now the day of my date with Sweeney.

Our first date.

I felt like scoffing the idea; we were married. We had a child together. His estranged daughter and her boyfriend/soon-to-be-husband lived with us.

Well, with him. I lived with my Mum.

"Thanks," I said softly. We'd agreed on dinner at a little Italian place I knew. It was private enough for us to talk but too public for us to start arguing or crying.

I'd decided on a simple black dress and, because I knew it would make Sweeney smirk, my bright green Converses. The ones I got married to him in. Hopefully that would remind him of how much I loved him.

I twirled my wedding band around my finger, wondering if I should take it off.

If I left it on, it would look like I was presuming something. I hadn't even noticed if he was still wearing his.

But if I took it off and he was wearing his, that would look so bad, like I wanted us to split up or something horrid.

As if she could read my mind, Mum softly said, "Leave it on."

I nodded, dropping my hand to my side. It wouldn't feel right, taking it off.

I checked the time and took in a deep breath.

"I'd better go."

"Have fun."

I grinned at Mum, picking up my bag (a bright green clutch) and car keys.

I played music to calm me down during the drive, but it didn't help. If anything, it made me more nervous.

My heart was racing by the time I got to the restaurant, in front of which Sweeney was waiting. He was dressed in all black and he looked so beautiful. Black looked so good on him.

"Hi," I said as I climbed out of the car. "We match."

His lips twitched. "I made a reservation."

He didn't laugh at the joke, but he looked like he wanted to smile. That was a good sign.

His hand rested on the small of my back as he opened the door for me. I thanked him, walking inside, and waited as Sweeney spoke to the waiter about his reservation. We were then guided to our table.

"So, how do you want to do this?" I asked.

"By which you mean?" He raised his eyebrows, looking at me expectantly.

"Is this like a proper first date, where we're just getting to know each other?"

Sweeney regarded me for a moment before nodding, waving his hand at me. "Tell me about yourself," he said, a hint of mocking in his tone.

I made a face at him and he smirked.

"Ok, well . . . I'm an actress in an amatuer acting group. We're currently in the last stages of our latest production, _The Hunchback of Notre Dame._"

Sweeney feigned interest, and I couldn't tell if he was teasing me or mocking me.

"And what about you?" I asked.

"What about me?"

"Tell me about yourself."

"What do you want to know?"

Somehow, I should've known that Sweeney wasn't going to make this easy for me. Thankfully, the waiter came to take our drink orders.

"Coke please," I said. "I'm driving," I added for Sweeney's benefit.

He raised an eyebrow.

"So," I said, leaning forwards as the waiter walked away. "You were telling me about yourself?"

"I'm a barber," Sweeney said.

"Are you any good?"

Sweeney leaned forwards. "I can guarantee that it will be the closest shave you will ever know."

I glared at his smirk, leaning back in my seat.

"There was no need for that."

"For what?"

"Don't act innocent," I hissed.

Sweeney's smirk grew as the waiter returned with our drinks. We ordered our food and, once again, we were left alone.

I glared at Sweeney.

"You're being difficult on purpose," I accused.

He didn't say anything.

Sighing, my eyes flickered down to his hands. My heart missed a beat when I saw that he was still wearing his wedding ring; a small smile flickered on my lips.

"Does something amuse you?" Sweeney asked in a low voice.

"I think boredom is kicking in."

"I'm sorry that my company isn't up to your expectations."

"Yeah, so am I."

Sweeney and I glared at each other from across the table. I briefly wondered what the people surrounding us were thinking; they were probably rather confused. I knew I was.

I suddenly started laughing.

"Ok," I said inbetween laughs. "I think we ought to start again."

Sweeney was silent as his eyes met mine. I gazed back, unable to look away, and sighed.

"I've missed this," I mumbled.

"What?"

"Us pissing each other off." I grinned. "And having silly arguments over nothing."

"Odd things to miss," Sweeney muttered, breaking eye contact and looking away.

"I miss them because when we did that, it meant we still loved each other." On an impulse, I slid my hand across the table and weaved in into his. "I still love you, Sweeney. More than anything."

Sweeney turned to look at me. Feeling defeated, I withdrew my hand.

"How are Anthony and Johanna's wedding plans going?" I asked. "They didn't talk much about them when I saw them last week."

"The wedding has been postponed."

"What?" I yelped; several people looked at me. I grinned sheepishly at them before leaning forwards. "Why?" I hissed.

"Your departure distressed Johanna very much."

"And whose fault is that?"

Sweeney glared at me from across the table and I realised just how childish I sounded when I said that. Sighing, I leaned back.

"Sorry," I muttered.

Sweeney was silent.

Our food arrived and I found that I'd lost my appetite. Staring at my pizza glumly, I prodded it with my fork. I could feel eyes on me; looking up, I saw that Sweeney was watching me.

"What?"

"Nothing." He smirked. "I was just wondering why you're being such a baby about a pizza."

I stared at him; that was what I said to him when he refused to eat his sandwich in the cafe. It was after he got his hair cut . . .

I laughed softly at the memory, shaking my head at him, and began eating my pizza.

"Aren't you going to eat your salad?" I asked Sweeney, smirking. He looked at it like it was a piece of dirt.

"I stand by my opinion that it is rabbit food." He pushed the plate away.

"Do I have to feed you?"

He glared at me. "I am not an infant."

"You're acting like one." I stabbed a piece of the salad with his fork and held it up. "Open up."

Sweeney looked at me darkly.

"Open wide for the choo choo train," I cooed, but his mouth remained firmly shut as I made train noises.

"Stop it."

"The choo choo train needs to go through the tunnel!"

"_Stop it._" Taking hold of my wrist, Sweeney gently pushed it onto the table. His hand lingered for a moment before he withdrew it.

"I hope that Johanna's making sure you're eating properly."

"I don't need looking after, Niamh," Sweeney told me.

"You surprise me."

"How so?"

"Well, you act like a child a hell of a lot so I thought that you might need to be treated like one."

Sweeney glared at me.

I glared back and looked away.

Sitting not too far away from us was a small family. The parents couldn't have been any older than Sweeney and I; the dad was coaxing their daughter into eating her pasta while the mum praised their son for eating sensibly. I smiled at the scene.

"Staring is very unbecoming."

"I wasn't staring."

Sweeney raised an eyebrow and pushed his plate away, his food barely touched. I felt like a pig; I'd finished my dinner.

"Remind me not to suggest going out for dinner again," I said.

"Why?"

"Because you never frickin' eat anything!"

"Would you like the dessert menu?" a waiter asked as he came to fetch our plates.

"No, thank you," I snapped back furiously, still glaring at Sweeney.

"Any more drinks?"

"Just the bill," Sweeney requested in a low voice. The waiter nodded and hurried away.

I took my purse out.

"You don't need to pay."

"I'm paying for my half."

"You don't need to," Sweeney insisted.

"I didn't come here for the free dinner," I snarled. "I came because I thought that this might help our marriage."

"Perhaps you should've considered our marriage before you slept with David."

Anger erupted inside me; the moment the bill came, I threw some money on the table and stood up.

"Thanks, Sweeney," I said in a low voice. "Thanks a lot."

I stormed out, ignoring the stares, and down the road. My car was parked around the corner.

"Niamh."

"Leave me alone, Sweeney."

He didn't; he continued to follow me down the road.

When I got to my car, I took my keys out from my bag. Sweeney snatched them from me.

"Give them back," I ordered, spinning around to face him.

"I was unnecessarily cruel," he said, but not apologetically.

"Yeah, you were a horrible git. Now give me back my keys!"

I lunged for them, but Sweeney held them out of my reach. I let out a frustrated huff.

"What do you want, Sweeney? You obviously don't want to sort things out."

"I do."

"Then why do you keep saying that I had sex with David?"

People were beginning to stare at us as they passed, but Sweeney and I ignored them.

"Yes, I almost made that mistake the first time but I love you way too much to anything that stupid again," I continued. "I don't know what else I can do or say to make you believe me."

"Niamh - "

"No! You believed Nellie Lovett - the woman who lied to you about Lucy's death - over me. I have never lied to you, Sweeney Todd, and - "

Sweeney cut me off by kissing me.

I melted the moment his lips touched mine, clinging to him desperately.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks by the time we broke apart. I glared at him.

"Don't do this, Sweeney," I whispered.

"Niamh - "

"Don't," I interupted again. "Don't get my hopes up again, Sweeney. You did that when I was in hospital and I'm not going to let you do it again. Not now."

Sweeney stared at me, frowning. I held my hand out.

"My keys."

He handed them to me.

Turning away, I unlocked my car.

"Niamh."

I looked up at him.

"You're only doing this because it's what I want," I said softly. "I don't want to be married to a man who thinks that I would sleep with my friend. I want to be married to the man I fell in love with, who would never be cruel deliberately."

"And we're not the same person," Sweeney said flatly. I shook my head.

"Nowhere near." I took in a deep breath. "Sort yourself out, Sweeney. Work out what you want."

Before I could stop myself or he could say anything, I climbed into my car.

Tears rolling down my cheeks, I drove off into the night, leaving Sweeney behind.

* * *

Thank you babyvfan, Sylverfire-Lilith-Todd, CadyD, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and my two anonymous reviewers for reviewing!

I don't know if any of you are fans of Moulin Rouge, but I've posted a fic in that category and I was hoping some of you might like to read it and tell me what you think?

Also, I'm debating on starting a new Sweeney Todd story . . . something darker than my current fics. Thoughts/opinions?


	23. Your Faith In Shreds, It Seems

_**Chapter Twenty Three  
Your **__**Faith In Shreds, It Seems**_

_Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams  
__Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams  
__I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind  
__Alone in the wind and the rain you left me  
__It's getting dark darling, too dark to see  
__And I'm on my knees, and your faith in shreds, it seems  
__~Thistles & Weeds, Mumford & Sons_

* * *

"Niamh!"

I was just getting out of the car when the front door flung open; Johanna ran down the garden path and flung her arms around me.

I hugged her back tightly, clinging to her. At least someone was pleased to see me.

"Hey," I said softly.

"I've missed you," Johanna told me, looking at me with doe-like eyes.

"I've missed you too," I admitted.

"Hello, Niamh."

Anthony smiled at me as he strolled down the path, joining Johanna and I.

"Hi Anthony." I smiled back. "So, are you two ready?"

"Yes," Johanna replied immediately. "This is going to be wonderful. We've been looking forward to it for days, haven't we, Anthony?"

Anthony smiled and nodded.

"I must say goodbye to papa," Johanna said suddenly, spinning around and rushing back into the house. Anthony chuckled softly.

"She's pretty excited, huh?"

"She has been looking forward to seeing you," he replied.

I sighed sadly. "Sorry I haven't been in contact much. It's been difficult, you know?"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Niamh," Anthony told me. "I understand."

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"Just being yourself."

Anthony looked at me in confusion and I grinned back.

My grin faded when I saw Sweeney escort Johanna to the front door. He lingered in the doorway, saying something I couldn't hear to her, and kissed her forehead.

He suddenly looked up, his eyes meeting mine.

I looked at him for a moment before turning away, opening the car door. I could feel his eyes on me as I sat down in the front; Anthony sat at the back.

"May I sit next to you, Niamh?" Johanna asked, poking her head into the open window.

"Sure. If Anthony doesn't mind being stuck next to Robyn."

Anthony grinned. "Of course I don't."

Robyn looked more than happy to see Anthony, and I briefly wondered if I should be worried about her strange obsession with him. Whatever it was she liked about him so much, as long as it kept her happy, I was happy.

"Where are we going?" Johanna asked eagerly.

"Out for lunch. We need to catch up."

"That sounds ominous," Anthony spoke up from behind us. Johanna giggled nervously.

"Be afraid, Anthony," I said seriously. "Be very afraid."

Johanna stared at me for a moment. After a minute of silence, we burst out laughing.

"I've missed you," Johanna said happily, leaning back in her seat.

* * *

"So what's all this about the wedding being postponed?"

Johanna turned pale and Anthony looked startled by my question. We'd ordered our lunch and were sitting in a small booth designed for families like ours. Robyn was on Anthony's lap and would remain there until our food came.

"How did you . . . " Johanna's voice trailed off.

"Sweeney told me. So, what's going on?"

"We thought it would be improper to continue with our plans when you and Mr Todd are currently having problems," Anthony said quietly, not quite meeting my eyes.

Pain ripped through me.

Anthony and Johanna weren't going to get married while mine and Sweeney's marriage was failing miserably.

I felt guilty; I was partially the reason for Anthony and Johanna delaying their wedding.

"You don't have to do that," I said quietly, feeling miserable.

"We don't want to be inconsiderate," Johanna said.

"You're not."

Johanna looked troubled as she stared at me. I looked away.

"I don't mean to be nosy, Niamh, and please do not answer if you don't want to, but how are thing between you and Mr Todd?" Anthony asked hesitantly. "He seemed very distressed when he came home the other night."

"He did?"

Johanna nodded. "He didn't speak to us. He just went upstairs and locked himself in his bedroom."

"We had a bit of a disagreement."

Anthony frowned and Johanna looked at me quizically; they both wanted to know what had happened, but they were both far too polite to ask me what.

I sighed.

"We want the same thing, I think. But we want them for different reasons."

"What do you both want?" Johanna asked, and then turned pink. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be . . . I think we both want to sort things out." I hesitated before adding, "At least, that's what I want."

"So does Mr Todd."

My head snapped up. "Has he said anything?"

"No." I sighed. "But I think the phrase actions speak louder than words applies to Mr Todd in this current situation."

"Really?"

Anthony nodded. "He isn't someone who will express his feelings through words."

"You should know that more than anyone," Johanna said with a small giggle. I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I really should."

I didn't add that Sweeney was also very good at expressing his feelings through words as well.

Very cruel words.

My stomach churned uneasily. I laughed nervously.

"I wish that waiter would hurry up with our food," I said. "I'm starving hungry."

"Niamh."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think that you and papa will sort out your disagreement?" Johanna asked me anxiously.

"I don't know," I admitted quietly. "I hope so."

"When?"

"I don't know, Johanna."

"Will it be soon?"

"I don't know, Johanna," I repeated. "Sweeney knows how I feel. The ball is in his court, really."

"What does that mean?"

"That if Sweeney wants to sort things out, he will. I've got to wait for him, though."

"Why?"

I sighed, trying not to get irritated by Johanna's constant questions. Looking up, I saw that she had turned pale.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'll stop asking questions."

Guilt washed over me. I reached out and took Johanna's hand.

"Don't be silly. I've made it clear to Sweeney what I want, so it's up to him to decide what he wants. That's why I have to wait."

Johanna nodded and I squeezed her hand before letting go.

"Even if you and Mr Todd are not living together, will you please be a witness at our wedding?" Anthony requested. I stared at him.

"Really?"

Anthony nodded. "Other than Mr Todd, neither Johanna nor I have any blood relatives. You are, however, Johanna's stepmother and a good friend to us both. It would be an honour if you attended the wedding."

Tears sprung to my eyes as I smiled at him, touched by the thought.

"I would love to."

"You would?" Johanna looked up at me hopefully, a wide smile spreading across her face. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"Oh Niamh, thank you so much!"

"Where are you two getting married?" I asked.

"We're just going to a registry office," Anthony told me, keeping one arm around Robyn while taking Johanna's hand.

"Where did you and papa get married?"

"In a Church," I said softly. "The Church I practically grew up in."

"Oh, how lovely."

I smiled back, but it was slightly forced.

If I'd have known that, at this point, my marriage would be in pieces, I probably never would've bothered getting married in the first place.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx, Comfortably Plump and Fallen Snow Princess for reviewing!

My AIW fic has been updated and I would also like to remind my readers that I have posted a new Moulin Rouge fic if anyone is interested! My new Sweeney Todd fic is also in the process of being written and the first chapter should hopefully be posted later today!


	24. Darkest Before The Dawn

_**Chapter Twenty Four  
**__**Darkest Before The Dawn**_

S_o I like to keep my issues drawn  
__But it's always darkest before the dawn_

_Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
__Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa  
__And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back  
__So shake him off, oh whoa  
~Shake It Out, Florence + The Machine_

* * *

No one stared at me when I walked into the studio, and for that I was grateful.

I put Robyn, who had been fussing the whole walk to the studio, down on the floor and she immediately toddled off. Fortunately, David caught her before she could go too far.

"Hey squirt," he said with a grin, picking her up and swinging her around. She squealed.

"Thanks," I said. "She's been a total pain in the arse the whole way here."

"Really? That doesn't sound like her."

I rolled my eyes. "She made a fuss in the buggy so I took her out and told her to keep hold of it while we walked."

"And she didn't?" he guessed.

"No, she kept running off and eventually tripped over. I ended up having to carry her and push the buggy and keep hold of my bag."

"You still love her, though."

"For now." I scowled at Robyn, who just grinned back cheekily.

"She can't be that bad," David said, rather stupidly if you ask me.

"Fine." I thrust a bag into his arms. "You can her unofficial babysitter while I sort myself out."

"But Niamh - "

"Don't argue with me, David, because I am one wrong remark from punching someone."

He grinned. "Alright, since you asked so nicely."

While David entertained Robyn, I folded the buggy up and took my costume out of my bag.

"Are you alright, love?"

I looked up. "Oh, hi Nellie. I'm fine. You?"

"I'm fine, ta. Are you sure?"

"Yes. Why?"

"You seem a bit . . . scattered."

"My car broke," I told her. "And I don't have enough money to get it fixed. Robyn is being a pain. And no matter how much my Mum tells me that she's fine with us staying there, I feel like a kid living with my Mum."

"Oh. Well, if there's anything I can do to 'elp . . . "

"No offense, Nellie, but unless you can fix my car for free and magic me up cheap accomodation, then you can't." I sighed. "But thanks anyway."

Taking my costume into the toilets, I hurridedly got changed and tied my hair into bunches with the ribbons I'd brought with me. I made it clear to Tim that there was no way of me hiding my breasts, so we improvised and changed Clopin from a man to a woman.

"Niamh, finally!" Tim shouted as I left the toilets. "Hurry up and get on stage."

"Give me a minute," I yelled back, folding my clothes and putting them away in my bag.

"Now!"

I glared at Tim. Squashing my clothes, I zipped my bag up and stormed across the studio, getting up on stage.

Helena now had Robyn; she was sitting at the piano with Robyn on her lap while Robyn slammed her hands on the keys of the piano. I flinched.

"You don't have to let her destroy your piano, Helena," I said, sitting on the edge of the stage. "I've got some of her stuff in my bag."

"Oh no, it's fine," Helena said with a smile.

"I guess it's a good thing Sweeney's picking her up soon."

"How are things with you and Sweeney?"

I made a face. Helena laughed.

"At least you're friends with Nellie now."

I smiled at Nellie, who was helping Kat with all the jewellery she had to wear.

"Yeah, even if I did nearly break her nose," I said sheepishly. Helena laughed.

"You fight like a wild cat," she said. "Remind me not to get on your bad side."

I grinned. "I'll try."

* * *

" . . . or an ambush," Micheal said as the lights on the stage went black.

When the lights came on, Micheal and David were surrounded by members of the chorus, who were dressed up as skeletons. I sauntered on.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" I asked.

"Trespassers!"

"Spies!"

"We are not spies!" Micheal insisted.

"Can't you listen - "

"Don't interupt me," I interupted David (oh the irony . . . ) and scowled. "You're very clever to have found our hideaway. Unfortunately, you won't live long enough to tell the tale."

_Maybe you've heard of a terrible place_

_Where the soundrels of Paris_

_Collect in a lair_

_Maybe you've heard of that mythical place_

_Called the Court of Miracles_

I popped up between Micheal and David.

"Hello, you're there!" I cried, grinning at the both of them. Hell, if I had to play a mad person, I might as well do it properly.

_Where the lame can walk_

_And the blind can see_

_But the dead don't talk_

_So you won't be around to reveal what you've found!_

Micheal and David were pushed off stage while two other members of the chorus joined hands, making a seat for me.

_We have a method for spies and intruders_

_Rather like hornets protecting their hive_

_Here in the Court of Miracles_

_Where it's a miracle if you get out alive!_

The curtains closed and when they opened, the rest of the chorus, dressed up as various gypsies, were on stage and ready. I skipped on and to the front.

"Gather round, everybody!" I cried. "There's good 'nose' tonight!"

Everyone laughed at the pun as David and Micheal were pulled on stage.

"It's a double header," I continued. "A couple of Frollo's spies!"

They booed.

"And not just any spies! His captain of the guard - " I straightened up and saluted. "And his loyal, bell ringing henchman!" I loped across the stage with one shoulder hunched up.

_Justice is swift in the Court of Miracles_, I sung.

_I am the lawyers and judge all in one_

_We like to get the trial over with quickly_

_Because it's the sentence that's really the fun!_

The door opened and I faltered slightly when I saw Sweeney walk in. Helena put Robyn down on the ground and she hurtled towards her father.

"Niamh!" Tim shouted. "Concentrate!"

Clearing my throat, I looked at David and Micheal.

"Any last words?" I asked. Their answers were muffled; they were gagged. "That's what they all say," I said in a camp tone, sounding uncannily like Theo.

_Now that we've seen all the evidence - _

The puppet popped up, squeaking, "Wait, I object!"

"Overruled."

"I object!"

"QUIET!" I yelled, throwing my hat over the puppet.

"Dang."

_We find you totally innocent_

_Which is the worst crime of all_

_SO YOU'RE GOING TO HANG! _everyone on stage yelled.

"That was good," Tim told us. "Take a break, everyone."

I jumped off the stage, crossing the studio to where Sweeney was standing.

"Here's all her stuff," I said, handing him the bag. "You can give her dinner as well, if you like."

"I would," he said quietly.

It felt awkward being with Sweeney. I hated myself for having regrets about our marriage.

"You distracted me," I said lightly, teasing him.

"You were very good."

I blushed. I only hesitated when I saw Sweeney because I forgot all about him.

On stage, I forgot about everything because I was Clopin, not Niamh. Of course, I couldn't say this to him, so I just looked away.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "Erm, well, have fun."

I kissed Robyn and waved at them as they left. Robyn waved back over Sweeney's shoulder.

"Damn girl," David said.

"What?"

"You could practically cut the sexual tension between you two."

I laughed. "Shut up, David."

"No, seriously. That man definately wants you back," he said.

"You think so?"

David grinned and winked at me before walking away. I smiled to myself.

My day was starting to get better.

* * *

Thank you CadyD, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx, Fallen Snow Princess and babyvfan for reviewing!


	25. Angels Watching Over Me

_**Chapter Twenty Five  
**__**Angels Watching Over Me**_

_Angels watching over me with smiles upon their face  
__Coz I have made it through this far in an unforgiving place_

_It feels sometimes this is too steep for a girl like me to climb  
__But I must knock those guards right down I do it in my own time_

_I don't care (care care)  
__'m half way there (nowhere)  
__On a road that leads me to straight to who knows where  
__~Upside Down, Paloma Faith_

* * *

"Well done, Niamh," Helena congratulated me when the rehearsal was over. "You were very good."

"Even after I messed up during my song?" I said with a sheepish grin.

"You were distracted. It happens."

I looked at Tim, who was berating David for one reason or another. I rolled my eyes.

"Not in Tim's world, it doesn't."

Helena laughed, shaking her head. "My husband is incredibly stubborn," she said fondly. "But he gets the job done, doesn't he?"

I nodded. "Definately. Our productions wouldn't be as half as good if we didn't have Tim as a director."

"Don't let him hear you say that though. He'll get a big head."

"As if his head could get any bigger."

"Are my ears burning?" Tim asked, joining us.

"Most definately," Helena said, kissing his cheek and grinning at him.

"We were just talking about your massive head," I told him.

Tim gave me a stern look. "I suggest that you compliment me immediately before I kick you out of the production."

I flung my arms around his neck and pressed a massive kiss on his cheek.

"You are a magnificent director and our productions are amaazing all because of you!" I cried, hugging him.

"Get off," he grumbled, batting me away. I couldn't help but notice the small smile on his face.

"I love you, Tim," I cooed as he walked away.

"Bugger off, Niamh," he called over his shoulder. Helena and I laughed hysterically.

"You know, he's kinda like a grumpy uncle," I noted, grinning.

"He loves you, Niamh," Helena told me. "And so do I."

"Aw, Helena." I rested my head on her shoulder. She laughed.

"You're like the daughter we never had."

Laughing, I straightened up. "You can be my second set of parents."

"Tim will love that."

"Should I tell him?"

Helena grinned. "Go on."

"Tim!"

Tim ducked into the men's toilets before I could catch him. Laughing, I accepted defeat and picked my bag up, ready to get changed in the toilets.

"Niamh, can I 'ave a word with you?" Nellie asked as I crossed the studio.

"Sure, if you don't mind watching me strip."

"I'm sure I can 'andle it."

Nellie followed me into the girl's toilets, where I proceeded to take my costume off and replace it with my own clothes.

"So, what's up?" I asked, pulling my jeans on.

"You was complaining earlier about living with your mum," she said.

"Yeah?" I pulled my t-shirt on.

"Well, I 'ave two spare bedrooms and it gets pretty lonely being in my 'ouse on my own . . . " Nellie's voice trailed off as she looked away. Tying my hair back, I frowned.

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"Only if you want to," she said, shrugging. "You and Robyn are more than welcome, even if it is for a short time."

"Do you mean it?" I asked eagerly. "Like, do you really _really_mean it?"

Nellie nodded. "What do you think?"

"Oh my God, Nellie, that's totally awesome!" I squealed, throwing my arms around her. "I'll pay rent and everything, I swear, and it's just until I get my own place, right?"

"You can stay as long as you want," she told me, grinning. "I can't promise it'll be great the whole time, but we can give it a go."

* * *

I moved in with Nellie the next week.

"I can't believe you're moving in with her," Theo said as I drove. He was helping me with my bags and Robyn.

"Why?"

"Because you _hate _her."

"Not anymore." I grinned. "Was it Lemony Snicket who pointed out that first impressions were often entirely wrong?"

"I'm sure he got that from someone else. It is common knowledge."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "All I'm saying is that Nellie has been a real help these past couple of days. She was with me in hospital and, well, I guess we've gotten kinda close."

"You must be if she's asking you to move in with her." Theo frowned. "Maybe it's a trick."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think Nellie is like that." I turned a corner. "Not anymore, at least."

"So what is it that you like about her so much all of a sudden?"

"She's actually quite a nice woman, she's funny, she's great with Robyn," I listed.

"Is she a good cook?"

"Why?"

"Because someone out of the two of you will need to be or you'll be living off takeaways for the rest of your life."

I thought about Nellie's pies and grimaced.

"She's certainly a _creative _cook," I finally said.

"I don't like the sound of that."

I pulled up outside Nellie's house and cut the engine. She opened the front door just as I climbed out of the car.

"'ello, love!" she called, walking down the path.

"Hiya!" I beamed and took Robyn out, balancing her on my hip.

"Do you need a 'and with your bags?" Nellie asked as I walked around the car, opening the boot. Theo climbed out of the car as well.

"Perfect," he said. "You two carry the bags while I take Robyn and - "

"Thank you, Theo, for offering your services like the perfect gentleman that you are," I interupted, picking up a bag. "Here you go. Nellie will show you where to put them."

Theo glared at me. Nellie smirked.

"Upstairs, second door on the left," she told him. "Do you want to put Robyn in the living room?"

"She might tear it apart."

"I stocked up on kid's DVDs. I got them real cheap for a second 'and store."

I grinned. If there as one thing that could keep Robyn's attention, it was a DVD.

"Let's do that."

We put Robyn in the living room and she sat in front of the TV, immediately captivated by the DVD. I laughed, kissing the top of her head, before joining Nellie and Theo in unloading my bags.

It thankfully didn't take long for us to unload the bags, and soon Theo had gone home while I unpacked my clothes. Nellie and Robyn were downstairs.

I took out one of my shirts, holding it up, and realised that it was actually one of Sweeney's. I must've somehow packed it when I left home and not realised it was in my bag.

I held the shirt to my face, sniffing it. It still smelt like Sweeney.

Sitting on the bed, I took my shirt off and replaced it with Sweeney's. It was a little bit sad, yes, but it made me feel as if I was still in Sweeney's arms.

"You alright, love?"

I looked up at Nellie and plastered a smile on my face.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm fine."

She smiled back. "Robyn's asking for 'er mummy."

"More like demanding." I stood up. "I'll be down in a second."

"Alright, love."

Still smiling, Nellie left. I sat back down on the bed, wrapping my arms around myself.

I was halfway to sorting my life out.

And that was enough for now.

* * *

Not my best chapter but I've been having a bit of writer's block regarding Niamh's story . . .

Thank you babyvfan, Comfortably Plump, CadyD and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing!


	26. Two Worlds, One Family

_**Chapter Twenty Six  
**__**Two Worlds, One Family**_

_Every moment now the bond  
__Grows stronger  
__Two worlds, one family  
__Trust your heart  
__Let fate decide  
__To guide these lives we see  
__~Two Worlds (Reprise), Tarzan Soundtrack_

* * *

"Are you sure that this is a good idea, love?"

"Yeah."

"What if Sweeney says no?"

"I'll tell him where to stick it. Every girl deserves to look good on her wedding day, even if she is only getting married in a crappy registry office."

Nellie laughed. "You do 'ave a way with words, love."

"Growing up with older twin brothers teaches you that you have to be blunt to get your point across," I said as we turned a corner, finally pulling up outside the house. I cut the engine. "Let's go."

I undid my seatbelt and climbed out of the car, Nellie following suit. Taking Robyn out from her car seat in the back, I put her on the ground.

She immediately shouted out in protest.

"No Robyn, I'm not carrying you," I told her firmly, taking her hand as I led her down the path.

"I'll take 'er," Nellie offered.

"No. If you do, she won't let you put her down again."

"So?"

"So she's bloody heavy."

We stopped at the front door and I knocked. After a moment, it opened.

"Hi," I said as brightly as I could, forcing myself to smile at Sweeney.

"'Ello, Mr T," Nellie said with a grin. Sweeney stared at us.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me, frowning.

"Is Johanna in?"

Just as I asked this, Johanna walked down the stairs, coming into view. Seeing me, a wide grin spread across her face as she rushed forwards, standing next to Sweeney.

"Niamh!" She looked at Nellie, her grin faltering slightly. "Mrs Lovett."

"Nellie, love."

"What are you doing here?" Johanna asked as politely as she could, her eyes darting from Nellie to me.

"We're going shopping."

Johanna frowned. "But I don't need anything . . . "

"Wedding dress shopping," I explained with a grin. "You have to look nice on your wedding day."

A wide smile spread across Johanna's face as she looked up at Sweeney hopefully, practically bouncing with excitement.

"May I go, papa? Oh please, may I?"

Sweeney looked at her, then at Nellie and finally at me. I looked back coolly, ready to shout at him if he denied Johanna the trip to town with Nellie and I.

Finally, he nodded once. Johanna squealed loudly, throwing her arms around him, and he half heartedly hugged her bag.

"Thank you, papa, thank you so much! I'll go get my coat!"

As Johanna rushed off, Nellie looked at me and said, "I'll go wait by the car."

An awkward silence fell over Sweeney and I as Nellie left, but it was thankfully broken by Robyn making a fuss. Automatically, Sweeney knelt down and picked her up.

"You can have her today, if you want," I said. "She's restless. Maybe you and Anthony could take her to the park?"

"Anthony is at work," Sweeney muttered.

"Oh, well, you can take her to the park then. She'd like that."

Sweeney nodded. "I will."

"If you take her to the duck pond, keep hold of her. She's got a sudden obsession with ducks and keeps trying to get in the pond with them," I said, shaking my head as Robyn grinned widely at me. I loved her to pieces, but she was a weirdo.

A hint of a smile appeared on Sweeney's face as I said this.

"I'll remember that," he said quietly.

"I'm ready," Johanna announced, appearing at Sweeney's side. "Shall we go?"

"Yeah," I said. "Let's go."

* * *

We decided not to go to one of the many wedding botiques in London; Johanna didn't want to make a big fuss on her wedding day.

"I'd feel ridiculous wearing a traditional wedding dress to a registry office," she admitted. "I'd much rather wear something simple."

"Alright," I said, leading her into a shop. "Simple it is, then."

Johanna seemed to have as much fun looking for a wedding dress as she did when we were shopping for her new clothes. She searched the rails, picking and choosing various white dresses. I helped, but Nellie seemed more interest in flirting with one of the shop assistants.

"Are you and Mrs - Nellie," Johanna corrected herself. "Friends now?"

"Sort of," I said, still browsing the rails.

"What do you mean?"

"I apologised for attacking her and she apologised for spreading malicious rumours about me." I shrugged. "Plus she was there when I had the miscarriage. That sort of thing has a tendency to bring people closer together."

"Apart from you and papa," Johanna said softly.

I thought back to him visiting me in the hospital and felt a pang of sadness. Frowning, I focused on the clothes in front of me.

"She's also letting me stay in her spare room," I said.

"I'm glad that you and Nellie are friends."

"Really?"

Johanna nodded. "I know it can't be easy for you, all these people from papa's past being here. If I were you, I'd feel rather left out."

I didn't say anything. That was exactly how I felt.

"But Anthony and I love you," Johanna continued. " And you and Nellie are now friends, so I suppose it isn't all bad."

"Do you really love me?" I asked quietly, staring at her. Johanna nodded earnestly.

"Of course. You're the closest to a mother I have."

Tears sprung to my eyes, but I blinked them away stubbornly as I smiled at Johanna.

"Thanks Johanna," I said. "I love you too."

Smiling back, Johanna stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me. I hugged her back.

"It's almost as if we're from two worlds, but we're one family," she said thoughtfully when we broke apart. I frowned.

"Did you just paraphrase Tarzan?"

Johanna looked startled, staring at me. "I beg your pardon?"

"You don't know who Tarzan is?"

"Tarzan is a person?" she asked incredulously. "It sounds like a disease of some sort."

I laughed, shaking my head at her as we continued looking through the clothes.

Looking rather pleased with herself, Nellie joined us. I looked at her.

"What are you looking so smug about?" I asked her.

She held up a piece of paper. "I got 'is number," she said happily. I laughed again.

"You sound like a lovestruck teenager," I teased. Nellie snorted.

"It's been ages, love. I've got to get my kicks some'ow."

I groaned, covering my ears. "That is way too much information, Nellie!"

Johanna giggled.

She was right, I realised as Nellie continued to tease me. It was like we were from two worlds, but we were all one family. I also realised, with a small smile, that we were united through Sweeney.

"What are you looking so 'appy about?" Nellie asked me. I grinned at her.

"Nothing really," I said. "I'm just happy."

* * *

Thank you CadyD and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing!


	27. Young, Broken, So So Scared

_**Chapter Twenty Seven  
**__**Young, Broken, So So Scared**_

_Sitting in a big white room alone  
__Tilt my head back, feel the tears fall down  
__Close my eyes to see in the dark  
__I feel young, broken, so so scared (mmmmmm)  
__I don't wanna be here anymore  
__I wanna be somewhere else  
__Normal and free, like I used to be (oh)  
__But I have to stay in this big white room  
__With little old me  
__~Big White Room, Jessie J_

* * *

"Are you not 'ungry, love?"

I looked up from my cereal, which I'd been pushing around the bowl for several minutes, and stared at Nellie blankly.

"Huh?"

She smiled kindly. "You've been doing everything with that cereal but eat it. Are you not 'ungry?"

"No. Sorry."

"Don't matter, dearie."

"It does," I mumbled as Nellie took the bowl from me, scraping the contents into the bin. "It's a waste of food."

"Well between you not eating and Robyn throwing it on the floor, we are running out of food rather quickly."

Groaning, my head hit the table.

"I was only joking, love."

I didn't lift my head.

I heard the chair opposite mine scraping along the floor, and Nellie must've sat down because her voice was closer when she spoke again.

"What's wrong, Niamh?" she asked me softly.

I lifted my head, resting it on my arms, and looked up at her miserably.

"It's Anthony and Johanna's wedding today."

"So?"

"So Sweeney is going to be there."

Nellie looked sympathetic. "Look, love, I know it ain't easy but you can't live your life thinking about 'im. 'E'll come to 'is senses soon."

"How do you know?" I all but wailed. Nellie smirked.

"Because I know Mr T, and I know that 'e loves you."

I grimaced. "He doesn't. Not any more."

Nellie rolled her eyes, tutting. I glared at her.

"Niamh, you 'ave no idea 'ow devoted 'e was to Lucy. Do you really think 'e would've 'ad a child with you and married you if 'e didn't love you as much as 'e loved 'er?"

Oh.

I hadn't thought of it like that.

I slowly lifted my head, frowning as I thought about what Nellie had just said.

"I guess not," I mumbled.

"Of course not," she corrected. "Now, you're going to go upstairs and get dressed while I clean Robyn's face."

I smiled. "Thanks, Nellie."

"No problem, love."

While Nellie sorted Robyn, who seemed to have two thirds of her breakfast on her face, out, I went upstairs and got dressed.

A wedding should be a happy thing, but this just made me feel sick.

My stomach twisted uncomfortably when I pulled my green dress on, but I tried to ignore the feeling.

Sitting down at the dressing table, I opened my make up bag.

I looked almost as pale as Sweeney, I thought with a wry grin as I carefully applied foundation, hoping to add some colour to my face. I'd hardly slept recently, and it was showing.

I put on as little eye make up as possible, knowing that I'd probably cry at some point during the day. I did, however, put on several layers of water proof mascara.

A knock at the door made me jump.

"Come in," I called.

Nellie walked in, Robyn in tow, and smiled at me.

"You look lovely, dearie."

"Thanks." I smiled, picking Robyn up as she ran over to me.

While Nellie went to get dressed, I got Robyn into her dress and brushed her messy hair.

"You're such a messy pup," I said, shaking my head as I pulled food out of her hair. "You must get from me, because Daddy isn't as messy as you."

Shaking my head fondly, I pulled Robyn onto my lap and hugged her close. She hugged me back, digging her head into my chest.

"I love you, Robyn," I whispered, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

They were waiting outside for us when Nellie and I reached the registry office.

Johanna, looking beautiful in a simple white lace dress that brushed against her knees, beamed at me when she saw us. I smiled back.

"You look beautiful," I told her quietly, hugging her and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you." Her cheeks were pink with excitement.

Anthony looked very smart in a simple suit, smiling at Johanna when she weaved her hand into his. Sweeney stood next to him.

Robyn rushed forwards the moment she saw him, and he picked her up. I watched him as he hugged her tightly, whispering something in her ear.

My heart ached just looking at him.

"You look lovely, Johanna," Nellie said to Johanna. "Absolutely beautiful."

"Yes," Anthony agreed. "She does."

Beaming, Johanna stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Shall we go in?" she suggested, trying to sound calm.

Johanna and Anthony walked ahead with Nellie, who was chattering excitedly to the pair of them. I felt guilty pleasure when Sweeney failed to acknowledge Nellie.

Putting Robyn on the ground, Sweeney held on her hands in his own and looked at me.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hello."

Robyn extended her free hand, which I took, and I realised just how close to Sweeney that made me.

"You look very distinguished," I said with a small grin, looking at his suit.

"It is my daughter's wedding today. I had to make an effort."

My grin faded as we walked up the steps and into the building.

"You look beautiful," Sweeney suddenly said, so softly that I wasn't sure if I heard him. Immediately, I felt a lot better.

The registry office was small but tasteful. Nellie, Sweeney and I sat on the front row of the seating provided. I sat between Sweeney and Nellie.

I tried to hold Robyn on my lap, but she struggled and squirmed. When I loosened my hold on her, she clambered onto Sweeney's lap.

Sweeney kissed the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. I felt strangely hurt.

As the service began, I couldn't help but notice just how close Sweeney and I were again.

I could see him out of the corner of my eye, watching the service take place with a blank expression. His jaw was tight and his fists were clenched. Our arms were practically touching and I could hear him breathing.

I felt sick watching Anthony and Johanna.

I was so happy for them both, honestly, but seeing them so in love . . . it reminded me of my wedding day.

I tilted my head forwards, my hair falling over my shoulder, and subtlely dabbed at my eyes, wiping away the tears. A hand on mine made me look up.

"Here," Nellie whispered, handing me a tissue. Anthony was saying his vows.

"Thanks," I mouthed, using the tissue to wipe my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sweeney glancing at me.

Johanna said her vows, smiling as she stared straight into Anthony's eyes.

I shut my eyes, trying to block the sound of their voices out. I didn't want to be here.

When I opened my eyes, the service was over and it was announced that Anthony and Johanna could kiss.

The kiss was quick and chaste, but their faces said it all; they were married. They were happy. They were in love.

A tear rolling down my cheek, I reached out and weaved my hand into Sweeney's. I could feel his stiffen, but he didn't try to pull away. I gently squeezed his hand.

After a moment, he squeezed back.

* * *

Thank you xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx , Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle, CadyD, babyvfan and Comfortably Plump for reviewing!

I'm so sorry that took such a long time . . . I've had such a bad case of writer's block, especially since I've been preparing myself for Sixth Form, which I join on the fourth of September.

And I get my exam results tomorrow! I'm not looking forwards to it, especially since both my parents (who are divorced) have said that I'll have to retake my Maths GCSE at Sixth Form if I've failed.

Hopefully this chapter was ok. I'm not sure how I really feel about it, truthfully, but I didn't want my readers to think I had abandoned them!


	28. The Trust We Had Is Broken

_**Chapter Twenty Eight  
**__**The Trust We Had Is Broken**_

_I hate that I let you down  
__And I feel so bad about it  
__I guess karma comes back around  
__'Cause now I'm the one that's hurting, yeah_

_And I hate that I made you think  
__That the trust we had is broken  
__Don't tell me you can't forgive me  
__'Cause nobody's perfect  
~Nobody's Perfect, Jessie J_

* * *

The celebrations were taken to a nearby pub. Despite my pleads and Nelle's insistance that it was a special day, Johanna refused to allow us to buy a bottle of champagne.

"I may have just go married, but I refuse to let you waste your money on alcohol," she said tartly.

"It's not a waste, though," I said with a wide grin, taking my purse out.

"Niamh."

Johanna looked at me in such a way that was scarily like Sweeney, and my grin widened slightly.

"Fine, fine," I said. "But I'm buying the first round."

"You don't need to," Anthony said, but I insisted.

"Just look after Robyn while I'm at the bar, ok?"

Robyn was sitting on Anthony's lap, playing with the buttons of his blazer, and he grinned.

"I will," he promised, gently untangling Robyn's fingers from his hair. Next to him, Johanna was laughing and talking to Robyn, whose free hand was wrapped around Johanna's fingers. They looked like a family.

Smiling, I went to the bar and waited to be served.

"Nellie is under the impression that I should help you."

I looked at Sweeney, who had joined me at the bar, and smiled.

"That would be helpful," I agreed. "After all, there are six of us and I do only have one pair of hands."

"I wasn't aware that Robyn had made a drinks order."

I laughed despite myself. "No, but she'll want something eventually."

"Nellie tells me that you have moved in with her," Sweeney said after a long moment of silence.

"Oh, yeah."

Sweeney frowned, his eyebrows pulling together, and I rolled my eyes.

"I can't live with my Mum forever, Sweeney," I said. "And Nellie's been a real help. Plus, she's working most of the time."

"Does she not live above the shop?"

I shook my head. "I don't know why, but I don't my mind."

There were too many memories in the shop. Maybe Nellie thought the same thing.

We ordered the drinks, waiting patiently, and I looked up at Sweeney as I leaned against the bar.

"The ceremony was nice," I said casually.

"Yes," he agreed quietly.

"You must be really proud."

"Must I?"

I rolled my eyes at Sweeney's indifference, trying not to scowl. I could feel Nellie's eyes on us.

"Oh, because your oldest daughter getting married isn't a big deal at all," I muttered sarcastically. I quickly grinned and thanked the landlord as our drinks were put in front of us, picking two up.

"I am proud," Sweeney said, taking the other three drinks.

"Are you happy?" I challenged.

"As happy as one can be when he looses his daughter."

"Hey," I said softly. "You haven't lost her. And you know Anthony will look after her until the day he dies."

Sweeney was silent, and I realised that it wasn't my place to offer him advice regarding Johanna. Not anymore.

"Here we go," I said in a false cheery tone, handing out the drinks and sitting down next to Anthony. "Here, how about a toast?"

"Brilliant idea, love," Nellie quickly agreed.

"To Anthony and Johanna," I said, holding my glass up.

"May you 'ave better luck than the rest of us," Nellie said, winking at them as she also lifted her glass. Sweeney glared at her. I laughed.

We said cheers, clinking our glasses together. I took a long drink from my glass.

"Cor, Niamh," Nellie said. "Calm down."

"Huh?"

Nellie grinned widely. "You practically downed that."

"Oh." I blushed. "I was thirsty."

"Course you were."

"Thank you all for coming," Johanna said, taking the attention away from me. She beamed at us all, snuggling into Anthony.

"It wouldn't have been the same without you," Anthony finished, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and gently kissing the top of her head. I smiled.

"Well, it was a lovely service," I told them. Johanna smiled at me.

"Thank you, Niamh."

"Where are you two going for your 'oneymoon?" Nellie asked with a wide grin. I gave her a warning look.

Anthony and Johanna exchanged a look, so intimate and private that I had to look away, before Anthony finally answered.

"Johanna and I will be moving in together during our honeymoon period," he said. "We have a small flat here in London."

"Sounds great," I said, grinning at him.

"It isn't perfect, but it's home," Johanna said, smiling up at Anthony.

"Hey, the first flat is always the most exciting," I told them, speaking from experience. I remembered just how excited I was when Jared and I moved into our first flat together. It was kinda small and sometimes the neighbours were loud when they were having arguments, but we were happy.

Until the abuse started.

My stomach clenched uncomfortably and I took another long drink, finishing it in one mouthful.

"I'm going to get another drink," I announced, jumping up before anyone could say anything.

After getting my drink, I glanced at our table. No one was watching me.

I snuck outside into the garden, which was virtually empty. I sat down at one of the wooden tables, resting my head in my hands.

"'Ey," Nellie said softly, and I looked up to see her sitting across from me. "I saw you sneak out."

"Damn, you saw past my masterful plan," I muttered, grinning weakly.

"Are you alright, love?"

I made a face, screwing my nose up as I made a so-so gesture with my hand. Nellie smiled sympathetically.

Her smile faded when she looked over my shoulder. I frowned, turning around.

"Hi," I said softly to Sweeney.

"I'll leave you two to it," Nellie mumbled, standing up and brushing past Sweeney. He stood opposite me.

"Why are you out here?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "Just fancied some air."

Sweeney hesitated before sitting down. I looked at him sadly.

"I'm sorry."

He frowned. "You have nothing to apologise for."

"I do. I made you think that our trust was broken."

Sweeney was silent as he stared at me, his eyebrows pulling together. His expression was blank, but I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I miss you," I whispered, standing up. I walked around the table and sat down next to Sweeney, turning to face him.

Silent, I extended my hand.

Sweeney was hesitant, but he put his hand in mine. I directed it to my heart, my hand resting over his.

"It belongs to you," I told him.

Sweeney's eyes stared into mine as his hand rested on my heart, cold against my skin. I waited anxiously.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," he admitted quietly, taking his hand away.

"Please do," I pleaded. "Please, Sweeney, I never slept with David."

Sweeney continued to stare at me before looking away. I pressed my hand against his cheek, turning his head so he had to look at me.

"Please," I whispered. "Forgive me."

Sweeney said nothing, but reached out and brushed my cheek with his fingertips. I leaned into his touch, shutting my eyes.

"I love you," I said quietly.

Sweeney leaned forwards, and my heart raced against my chest.

His lips pressed against mine, his hands tangling in my hair as he pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing myself against him, savouring the moment.

When he pulled away, a small smile played on his lips.

"I love you too."

* * *

Thank you CadyD, Saphire Bethany Stacy Skyle and babyvfan for reviewing!

My exam results went rather well! Six Cs, a B for English lit, an A for English language and an A* for photography!

Would anyone be interested if I were to post a Labyrinth fic? I haven't quite finished the first chapter yet, but it's in progress. Thoughts/opinions please?


	29. Sing It For The World

_**Chapter Twenty Nine  
**__**Sing It For The World**_

_Sing it for the boys  
__Sing it for the girls  
__Every time that you lose it sing it for the world  
__Sing it from the heart  
__Sing it till you're nuts  
__Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts  
__Sing it for the deaf  
__Sing it for the blind  
__Sing about everyone that you left behind  
__Sing it for the world  
__Sing it for the world  
__~Sing, My Chemical Romance_

* * *

This was it. It was finally the last night.

As usual, the show was on for three nights and _everyone _was coming to see me. Sweeney, Robyn, Nellie, Mum, the twins, Bronagh, Theo and Anna were in the audience, waiting for me. Anthony and Johanna were still on their honeymoon, but everything was still really exciting.

Not to mention there were a few people from the West End in the audience, hoping to find the next big thing tonight.

"Are you serious?" I demanded of Tim as he told me this, staring at him. "Are you being deadly serious?"

"Yes, Niamh, I'm serious," he said impatiently.

"What?" David asked, joining us.

"There's a frickin' talent scout in the audience tonight," I told him. "From the frickin' West End!"

"Aw damn."

"What?"

"There gonna see me with all my lumps and bumps. They won't realise just how beautiful I am!" David moaned, referring to the prosthetic make up he had to wear on his face to make him less than appealing. I laughed.

"They'll see how beautiful you are in the program," Tim said dryly. "Now I don't want to hear another word about this talent scout, or you'll get the kids excited."

Being on stage was exciting enough for the younger members of the cast, let alone the knowledge that a talent scout was in the audience.

"Niamh, I need to do your make up," Helena said, and I followed her into the room. I shut the door behind me.

"Did you know about the talent scout?" I asked, sitting opposite her.

"Of course." She smiled knowingly, picking up her powder brush. "And I also happen to know that Tim put in a good word about you."

"Me?" I yelped, jumping up.

Shushing me, Helena gently pushed me back onto the stool and began applying powder to my face.

"Yes, darling, you."

"But why?"

"Shut your eyes." I did and Helena brushed eyeshadow over them. "He knows that you have the potential to do really well, Niamh. He wants the best for you."

"Aw," I said, grinning and opening my eyes. "Bless him."

Laughing, Helena picked up her eyeliner and told me to shut my eyes again.

"He's wanted the best for you since the day you joined this theatre group," she continued, making a careful line on my eyelid. "We both have."

"I can still remember my first day," I said, still grinning.

And I could.

I was a scrawny eleven year old with long ginger hair I always wore in a ponytail and braces I was incredibly self concious about, so much so that I barely opened my mouth during rehearsals. I knew Tim through my parents, but I was actually kinda terrified of him.

I'd shuffled in, looking around anxiously, and instantly developed a crush on twelve year old David, who was just as cocky as he is now.

Oh how times change.

"Hey," David said as he walked in. "Tim says you have to make me ugly."

Dropping into another seat, David looked distressed and upset at the prospect of looking ugly. I smirked.

"Whereas I get to be beautiful," I said happily. David snorted.

"With a costume like that?"

I responded by sticking my middle finger up at him.

"You're all done," Helena said, and I opened my eyes. "Good luck."

"See ya on stage, Niamh," David said.

"Have fun with being ugly!" I teased, darting out of the room.

Tim was standing backstage, hissing orders at the cast as they arranged themselves on stage, and I stood next to him with a wide grin.

"Last night, Tim," I said.

"Until the next one."

"Which is?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

I laughed softly and Tim wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Good luck, kid," he said quietly. I leaned against him.

"Thanks, Tim," I murmured.

"Go on." He gently pushed me away, in the direction of the stage. "Get out there and show them what you can do."

I got into position at the side of the stage just in time; the curtains opened and the lights slowly rose. Taking in a deep breath, I took a quick glance around the audience.

My eyes met Sweeney's.

Opening my mouth, I began to sing.

* * *

It was the end of the production. I couldn't believe it.

"Three cheers for Quasimodo!" I cried, still in character, as I skipped to the front of the stage. The rest of the cast gathered around David, slowly dispersing and walking off stage.

_So here is a riddle to guess if you can, _I sung.

_Sing the bells of Notre Dame_

_What makes a monster and what makes a man?_

_Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells, _the chorus sung.

_Whatever their pitch,_ I continued,_ you_

_Can feel them bewitch you_

_The rich and the ritual knells_

_Of the_

_Bells of Notre Dame! _

I held the note for as long as I could, singing over the music, and a moment of silence followed when I finished.

The audience erupted, clapping and cheering. Some people, including my mother, even stood up.

Slowly, the rest of the cast joined me on stage. David stood on one side and Kat on the other, with the rest of the main cast either side of them. We all joined hands and bowed.

Seeing Sweeney standing up, clapping with everyone else, made tears of happiness well up in my eyes. Letting go of David and Kat, I slowly walked down the steps at the front of the stage, running down the aisle. Sweeney met me halfway, and I flung myself onto him.

He picked me up, hugging me tight, and when he set me down on my feet, he kissed me.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you," he muttered, kissing the top of my head as I leaned against him, hugging him tightly.

"Niamh," Tim shouted from behind me. "Get back on stage!"

Grinning, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Sweeney a final time before pulling away, running back on stage. Spinning around, I bowed to the audience, removing my hat with a flourish, and then sauntered off stage. I could hear them clapping as I walked away.

I changed out of my costume and Helena gave me a couple of wipes for my make up.

"I know you don't want to go home looking like that," she said with a grin. "And well done on that performance at the end."

"What performance?" I asked, frowning.

"You and Sweeney. It was the most adorable thing this theatre has seen in years."

I grinned. "Tim's gonna be so pissed at me."

"Yes, but it's good to know that you and Sweeney have sorted out your differences." Smiling, Helena hugged me. "Well done, Niamh."

"Thanks, Helena."

Tim came backstage to congratulate everyone, gave me a short telling off for running off stage, but was overall pleased with the performance.

"Do you think I did well enough to impress our talent scout?" I asked Tim with a grin. He rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps. Running off stage was very unprofessional, though."

"I know." My grin turned sheepish. "Sorry. I couldn't stop myself."

"Whatever," he muttered, and then hugged me. "Well done, Niamh."

I said my goodbyes and left backstage, joining my family and friends out front. Mum rushed forwards, hugging me, and was quickly followed by Theo and Anna, both of whom couldn't stop babbling about how brilliant the production was. The twins teased me about my costume and Bronagh congratulated me on my performance.

I pulled away from them and grinned widely at Sweeney, who was holding Robyn, and Nellie.

"Well done, love," Nellie said.

"Thanks." I looked at Sweeney. "Well?"

Handing Robyn to Nellie, Sweeney stepped forwards and embraced me, holding me close.

That was the answer I needed.

Smiling, I weaved my hand into his.

"Come on," I said, looking at my friends and family. "Lets go home."

* * *

Thank you CadyD and incessantStream for reviewing!

Sorry about the ridiculously long wait; I've just finished my first official week of Sixth Form College, so things have been quite hetic!


	30. Wishing It Was Still The Same

_**Chapter Thirty**_  
_**Wishing It Was Still The Same**_

_Happy endings_  
_Just what did you do, if you're a dream then come true_  
_Stop pretending_  
_That what you mean isn't what you say_  
_Hopeful dreaming,_  
_Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same_  
_Loving, leaving_  
_Round and round and round we go again_  
_~Happy Endings, All American Rejects_

* * *

It was an ordinary day when I got the call.

I'd moved back in with Sweeney, who was feeding Robyn while I stood at the sink and washed a few dishes. Anthony and Johanna were still on their honeymoon period, and apparently loving it.

"She's just as stubborn as you," Sweeney muttered. Robyn was refusing to accept her breakfast, far more determined to throw as much of it she could onto the floor. On any other occasion, I would've been annoyed. Now, I didn't care because I was back home.

"And we wouldn't have you any other way," I said happily, kissing Robyn on the top of her head. Grinning, I then leaned down and kissed Sweeney.

My phone ringing interupted the moment.

Reluctantly pulling away, I sighed.

"I'd better get that," I mumbled, kissing him again.

Grabbing my phone, I frowned at the unknown number and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello," an unfamiliar female voice replied. "Am I speaking to Niamh Todd?"

"Yes," I said warily. "Who's this?"

"My name is Scarlett Moon. I don't know if you were aware, but I was at the final production of _The Hunchback of Notre Dame._"

"Ah, so you're the mysterious talent scout," I said with a laugh. Scarlett also laughed.  
"Yes, I am. I was just ringing to see if you're free for lunch today."

"I am . . . I hope you don't mind me asking, but why?"

"I hope you don't mind, but I'd rather discuss this face to face. Is half twelve alright for you?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Where should I meet you?"

Scarlett gave me the name of a cafe for us to meet and said she was looking forwards to meet me.

"Bye, Niamh," she said cheerfully.

"Bye," I replied just before she hung up, slowly putting my phone down. Sweeney looked up at me.

"What?" he asked gently, seeing me frown. I stared at him for a moment.

"A talent scout just rung me," I said, feeling slightly dazed. "She came to see the last production and now she wants to meet me for lunch."

Sweeney frowned, silent, and I thought it over in my mind.

Gasping, I looked up.

"What if she wants me to join a theatre troupe in Broadway?"

"Do you really think she does?" Sweeney countered, raising his eyebrows. It was slightly condescending and immediately made me feel defensive; I glared at him.

"You don't think I have the talent?" I snapped back.

"I never said that."

Realising that it was this sort of behaviour that led to Sweeney and I splitting up in the first place, I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Sweeney stood up, placing his hands either side of my face and lifting my head so I had to look at him.

Leaning down, he pressed his lips against my forehead. I shut my eyes.

"I believe in you," he whispered.

* * *

Scarlett turned out to be a woman not much older than myself with dark hair and eyes. I knew who she was immediately because her lips, coated in bright red lipstick, spread into a wide grin and she stood up.

"Niamh?"

"Scarlett?"

Her grin widened and she extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Niamh. You look much better without that costume, if you don't mind me saying."

I blushed. "Thanks. I don't make it a habit of wearing that sort of thing on a day to day basis."

Laughing, Scarlett sat down and gestured for me to do the same. I took a seat in the comfy leather armchair opposite her, ordering a coffee when the waitress appeared.

"Caffeine," Scarlett said, ordering the same. "A woman's best friend."

"Especially when you have a monster of a child."

"You have a child?"

"A daughter, Robyn." I took my purse out. "Here's a picture."

Scarlett took the photo I had, one of Sweeney, Robyn and I, and smiled widely.

"She's beautiful." She handed me the photo. "And so is your husband, if you don't mind me saying," she added with a wink. I laughed.

"I don't."

Our coffees were put in front of us and Scarlett took a sip of hers, crossing her long legs.

"Now," she said. "As you know, I'm a talent scout for a very popular but exclusive theatre troupe and we're looking for a few new members."

I waited patiently, nodding as I sipped my own coffee. Though I looked cool on the outside, my heart was racing.

"Niamh, I'd like to offer you a place in our theatre group."

I almost dropped my coffee.

"I'm sorry?"

Smiling, Scarlett repeated herself calmly. "You have a talent, Niamh. You can sing, dance and act. You're a triple threat, which we need on stage."

"Oh, wow," I said. "Really? You want me?"

"Yes, Niamh, we want you. You'd be a brilliant addition to the group."

"Wow. Me? Seriously?"

Smiling, Scarlett reached into her leather handbag and took out a small business card, holding it out to me.

"This is my number," she said. "Think about it for a few days and ring me."

"I will. Thanks."

"Niamh."

I looked up at Scarlett.

"This offer doesn't come around often, and spaces are somewhat limited. I suggest you ring me as soon as possible."

"I will," I promised. "Thank you . . . thank you so much."

* * *

"She wants me to join the broadway group!" I cried, practically running into the kitchen. "Sweeney, she wants me to join the broadway group! I'm going to be on broadway!"

Picking up Robyn, I swung her around and then balanced her on my hip, kissing her cheek. She squealed, hugging me.

Looking up at Sweeney, I saw that he wasn't happy.

"What?" I asked, putting Robyn back on the floor. She charged off, and I could hear her making noise in the living room. She was probably destroying it.

"I don't want you to go," he said quietly.

"What?" I repeated dumbly, staring at him.

"I don't want you to go."  
"Why not?"

"We'd have to move, Niamh," Sweeney said in a low voice, staring at the wall opposite him. "You'd hardly ever be home. Robyn would barely see you. I don't want you to go."

"But . . . this morning - "

"I didn't think she would ask you," he interupted testily.

"Sweeney, this is my dream," I said. "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to be on broadway stages? This could be the beginning of my career, Sweeney. I could be a professional actress, not someone who performs with her local theatre group!"

"It isn't just about you, Niamh."

"Yes it is!" I yelled in frustration. "This is my dream! My life!"

Sweeney's head snapped up, his eyes meeting mine. I could see the anger in his eyes.

"Niamh," he said in a low voice. "You either join the group or you stay here with your family. Make the choice."

* * *

Thank you Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd for reviewing!


	31. Trying To Take This From Me

_**Chapter Thirty One  
**__**Trying To Take This From Me**_

_I'm getting very edgy  
__Cos you're trying to take this from me  
__And it's something that I wanted so bad  
__Cos you're the definition  
__Of someone who has to ruin  
__The best thing that I ever had  
__~Insomniac's Lullaby, Ed Sheeran_

* * *

I stared at Sweeney.

"What?"

Sweeney was silent as he turned to look at the wall opposite him. I continued to stare at him, my mouth open but unable to verbalise the words I wanted to say.

Frowning, I looked away.

"_What_?" I repeated incredulously, looking at him again.

"Make the choice," he said stiffly, still not looking at me.

"You can't just expect me to . . . " My voice trailed off as I shook my head, running my hands through my hair. "What the actual hell, Sweeney?"

He didn't look at me. He didn't say anything.

"This is my life, Sweeney. I've wanted this since I a toddler. I've wanted to be an actress, an actual proper professional actress, since I could talk. This is my whole life we're talking about. My dream is finally coming true!"

Still he didn't look at me or say anything.

"Ask anyone! Ask anyone you like what I've wanted to be my whole life and they'll tell you that I've wanted to be on stage. I've worked so hard for this opportunity and you expect me to not take it just because you don't want me to?"

Sweeney was silent.

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed in frustration. "Don't just sit there, saying nothing! Look at me!"

Finally, Sweeney looked up at me.

His jaw was clenched and there was unfathomable anger in his eyes, but I didn't care. I was so angry I could've hit him.

Breathing heavily, I glared at him, watching him as he stood up. He barely glanced at me as he brushed past me, walking into the living room.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, following him. He walked out of the living room, carrying Robyn, and went upstairs. "Where are you going?"

Sweeney ignored me.

"Don't ignore me, Sweeney Todd!" I yelled up the stairs, waiting for him to come back down. When he finally did, he and Robyn were wearing their coats and he was holding Robyn's rucksack.

"Move," he ordered quietly, standing on the bottom step. I crossed my arms.

"Where are you taking my daughter?"

"I'm taking her out. You're unstable."

"Don't you dare," I hissed furiously. "Don't you _dare_ call me that again. You know why I'm angry, Sweeney."

"Niamh, move."

"No."

Sweeney gave Robyn her rucksack, which she hugged to her chest and began chewing, and firmly but gently moved me to the side so he could walk past. I followed him out of the front door.

"Where are you going?" I demanded.

"Go home, Niamh."

"Tell me where you're going!"

"You're embarrassing yourself," Sweeney muttered, finally turning around to face me. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Embarrassing you, you mean," I mumbled miserably. "Please don't go."

Sweeney gave me a scathing look before turning around and leaving.

* * *

Nothing makes you look more pathetic than drinking in a pub on your own.

I nursed my large glass of wine, the second of the evening, and sat in the corner on my own. A large crowd of middle aged men were gathered around the TV, watching the football, while a few students were by the bar. One of them kept glancing my way.

He was good looking, with slicked back dark hair and light eyes, but he was cocky and clearly loved himself. I rolled my eyes.

When I looked up again, he was still watching me. My eyes meeting his, he smirked.

I looked away, sipping my wine, and before long I registered an unwelcome presence.

The student boy was standing opposite me, holding his drink and a glass of red wine in his hands.

"I hope you don't mind, but I got you a drink."

"I've already got one," I said politely, holding my glass up.

Ignoring me, the boy sat down next to me.

"Are you on your own tonight?" he asked, draping his arm over the back of my chair. I gave him a scathing look.

"I'm married."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No, but it does mean that if you're looking for a cheap one night stand, you've come to the wrong woman."

"Aw, don't be like that." He slid his free hand onto my knee.

"Look, little boy," I said softly. "I really suggest that you let go of me and go back to your silly friends. I'm not interested."

His eyes darkened and he scowled, his grip on my leg tightening.

"Look, lady - "

"Hey, take a hint, pretty boy. She said leave her alone."

Scowling, the boy glared at the new arrival and stormed away.

"Loosing your touch there, Niamh," David said as he slid onto the chair opposite me. He grinned.

"Sod off," I muttered.

David gasped. "I just saved you and you tell me to sod off? Niamh, I'm insulted."

I looked up at him and his grin fell.

"Oh. Argument with the husband?"

"How could you tell?"

"Apart from the fact you're in a pub on your own, you look as if you've been crying."

I smiled sadly at David. "The talent scout wants me to join the theatre group. As in the one that performs on Broadway."

David's eyes widened as he leaned back in his seat.

"Wow. That's . . . amazing."

"Sweeney doesn't think so."

David stood up. I frowned.

"Where are you going?"

"Something tells me I'm going to need a drink."

I smiled, watching David walk to the bar and order a drink.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wondered what would've happened if I fell for David rather than Sweeney. It probably would've been a hell of a lot easier.

David was kind and funny and I knew he'd never do anything to hurt me. He wasn't cruel or jealous. He supported me in nearly every choice I made and wasn't afraid to tell me whe I was wrong.

Why couldn't I have just fallen for David?

I sighed.

Because David was my past and present. David was the person I could rely on to cheer me up when I was sad and the person to calm me down when I was angry with Sweeney. David and I worked together.

Sweeney was my present and future. Sweeney was the person I fell in love with and married and had a child with. Sweeney was the person I wanted to see every morning when I woke up and each night before I went to sleep. I wanted to stay with him and have more children and grow old with Sweeney Todd.

Why did everything have to be so complicated, though?

I had such high expectations of my marriage and falling in love, especially since I came to terms with the sham marriage of my parents. They weren't happy. Dad was an alcoholic and Mum was unhappy with him.

It looked like Sweeney and I were heading the same way.

"Don't hurt yourself," David said, sitting opposite me again with a pint.

"Huh?"

"You look like you're thinking. I'm telling you not to hurt yourself, because it's a dangerous thing to do."

I laughed and looked down at my drink. We were both silent for a long time.

"Do you ever wonder what it would've been like if we ended up together?" I asked David quietly.

"Sometimes, yeah."

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"You wouldn't be as happy with me as you are with Sweeney," he said. I frowned. "I've seen you, Niamh. You're like a completely different person with him."

I snorted loudly. "Hardly."

"No, you are," David insisted, reaching out and taking my hand in his own. "It's like . . . when Sweeney walks into the room, your whole face lights up. Like the sun. Your eyes glow when you see him."

"I wish it was still like that," I mumbled.

"It still is. You and Sweeney will sort things out, I know you will."

* * *

I stared at the business card lying on the table in front of me, playing with my mobile.

I'd been sitting at the kitchen table for several hours now, unable to make a choice.

If I said yes, my dreams would come true. I'd be on stage, a professional actress. I'd be in all my favourite musicals and productions.

But I'd loose Sweeney. He made it quite clear he wasn't going to support me in my dream.

So to keep him, and Robyn, I'd have to say no and give everything up. I'd be miserable for the rest of my life, regretting the time I gave up on my dream.

Why couldn't anything be simple?

David had said something while we were in the pub, something that I kept thinking over and over again.

If Sweeney really loved me, he'd respect my choice.

Did Sweeney not love me as much as he said he did? At all?

Groaning, my head hit the table.

I lifted my head and looked at the business card. My eyes flickered to my phone.

I couldn't postpone this any longer; I had to make a choice and stick to it.

Picking up my phone, I typed out Scarlett's number and pressed the call button, holding the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" Scarlett answered promptly.

"Hi, Scarlett, it's Niamh."

"Niamh! How are you?"

"I'm alright, thanks." Taking in a deep breath, I spoke. "I've made my choice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I paused again, shutting my eyes. I hoped I wouldn't regret the next two words I spoke.

"I'm in."

* * *

Thank you music is life 99, incessantStream, babyvfan and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing. Just in case anyone is interested, I have posted two new fics - one for Moulin Rouge and one for Labyrinth. Thoughts and opinions on either of those would be very much appreciated.


	32. Be True To Who You Are

_**Chapter Thirty Two  
**__**Be True To Who You Are**_

_Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars.  
__Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,  
__It's okay not to be okay.  
__Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.  
__Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,  
__Just be true to who you are.  
__~Who You Are, Jessie J_

* * *

I sat at the kitchen table, waiting silently. Behind me, the clock was ticking.

I picked up my phone. No texts or calls. I put it down again.

I drummed my fingers against the table and then stopped, scratching the palms of my hands. My nails painfully clawed my skin, so I stopped that as well.

Where was he?

Feeling agitated, I got up from my seat and opened the cupboard, taking out the bottle of red wine I was saving for the weekend. I poured myself a generous glass, ignoring the fact I already had two at the pub, and took a long drink from it.

I shut my eyes, tightening my grip on the glass, and sighed with mild happiness.

Putting the glass, which was still half full, down, I poured in some more wine.

I wasn't trying to get drunk, because that wouldn't accomplish anything, but a little drink to take the edge off was what I needed.

I was pouring myself another glass when the front door opened.

Looking down the corridor, I saw Sweeney walk in, carrying a sleeping Robyn. I regarded him coolly, saying nothing. In turn, he ignored me and took Robyn upstairs.

I waited patiently for Sweeney to come downstairs. He didn't take long.

Silent, he walked into the kitchen and slowly shut the door behind him. I watched him with mild disinterest, the effects of the alcohol kicking in.

"You had no right," I finally said, breaking the silence. "To take Robyn without telling me where you were going."

"I had every right," he replied coolly. "I'm her father."

"And I'm her mother."

Sweeney gave me a scathing look, as if questioning me, and I glared back at him in return. He barely noticed, however, as his eyes focused on the glass in my hand.

"You've been drinking."

"Yeah."

"How many of them have you had?"

I shrugged. "Four, five? I lost count after the second."

Sweeney gave me a look of disgust, turning his back on me. I scowled.

"So I spoke to Scarlett," I said casually, sipping my wine. Sweeney was silent. "I've taken her up on her offer. I'm going to join the theatre group."

"Yes," Sweeney said quietly, his voice low. "Mrs Lovett said you probably would."

My whole body jerked, as if Sweeney had hit me.

No, this was worse than being hit. If Sweeney had hit me, it would leave a mark. Maybe even a bruise. Something that would slowly fade away into the past.

But words . . . words couldn't be taken back. Sweeney had said that because he knew it was going to hurt me and now it couldn't be taken back.

"You were with Nellie," I whispered.

"Yes."

Nellie and I had put aside our differences. I'd go so far as to say we were friends. But did that mean I trusted her with my husband?

Hell no.

"You know, David said if you really did love me as much as you claim to, you'd respect my decision rather than bully me into getting your own way."

Sweeney turned around, the hurt and betrayal clear in his eyes.

"You were with David," he whispered.

"Yep."

This was getting ridiculous. Sweeney and I were just trying to score points, saying things we knew were going to hurt the other person.

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" I asked, frowning at him. "This is an incredible opportunity for me, Sweeney."

"I'm concerned for our family - "

"No you're not!" I interupted impatiently. "You're jealous."

Sweeney raised his eyebrows, silently questioning me.

"You're jealous," I repeated. "Because I'm finally moving on with my life. What have you achieved, Sweeney? You haven't got a job. You don't pay your way. You just sit at home and expect everything to revolve around you."

"That isn't true," he muttered.

"Tell me, Sweeney," I said as if he hadn't spoken. "Does any of this mean anything to you?"

Sweeney looked up at me, frowning.

"What?" he asked quietly, staring at me.

"Me, Robyn. Do we mean anything to you now you've got everything back? You've got your friend back, you've got your daughter, you've got your bit on the side," I spat. "All that's missing is your beloved Lucy."

At the mention of her name, Sweeney stood up and lunged. His hand curled around my neck, his skin cold against mine.

I stared up at him coolly, narrowing my eyes.

"Are you going to hurt me, Sweeney?" I asked softly.

Sweeney narrowed his eyes at me, his hand loosening slightly. After a second or two, he dropped his hand.

"Don't ever talk about Lucy like that again," he said in a low voice.

"So it's true." I looked away. "We mean nothing to you."

Tears sprung to my eyes, so I shut them. Taking in a deep breath, I allowed a couple to escape.

Sweeney stared at me for a moment, still standing over me, before finally reaching out. His hand brushed against my cheek, but I slapped it away.

"Don't touch me."

He continued to stand over me, watching me as I silently cried. He didn't move or say anything.

Wiping the tears off my cheeks, I looked up at Sweeney.

"Do you even love me?"

His eyes widened slightly as his eyebrows raised, his lips parting but no words escaping.

That was all I needed.

Putting one hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that was threatening to escape, I used the other one to push Sweeney away from me.

"Niamh . . . "

I ignored him as I walked into the living room, stopping in front of the mantle piece.

Staring at me was one of our wedding photos, my favourite one. It was of Sweeney and I standing outside the Church, holding hands and looking up at each other. Neither of us looked aware that the camera was pointing in our direction, because we were so captivated by each other.

Picking the photo frame up, I looked at the photo.

It meant nothing to him. All of this meant nothing to him, just because he still loved Lucy.

"Niamh," Sweeney said softly, standing in the doorway.

Anger rose in me and, before I could supress it, I spun around and threw the photo frame onto the floor by his feet.

"It means nothing to you," I hissed furiously.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

I looked away from him, staring out of the window, and wrapped my arms around myself. I felt like I was falling apart, shattering into little pieces.

"I'm going to join the theatre group," I said shakily. "And there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Sweeney was silent as he stared at me.

"Where does that leave us?"

I shrugged.

"With a problem, I guess."

His lips twitched slightly, as if he wanted to laugh. I didn't smile.

"It isn't funny."

"No," he agreed softly.

"So where does this leave us?"

Sweeney was silent, looking away. We bothh knew where it left us, but neither of us wanted to say it because it was too painful.

"I love you," I said quietly. "More than anything. But I refuse to stay in a relationship where you don't love me back."

"What do you propose we do?"

Taking in a deep breath, I said the words I dreaded saying.

"I think this is the end."

* * *

Thank you incessantStream, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx , CadyD and babyvfan for reviewing!


	33. We're Settling The Final Score

_**Chapter Thirty Three  
**__**We're Settling The Final Score**_

_No sir, well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore.  
__It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score.  
__And why do we like to hurt so much?_

_I can't decide  
__You have made it harder just to go on  
__And why, all the possibilities, well I was wrong  
__~That's What You Get, Paramore_

* * *

"No," Sweeney said softly, a hint of desperation in his voice.

I shut my eyes.

"Please don't make this any harder than it is," I whispered.

"You expected this to be easy?" Sweeney asked, mocking me. My eyes snapped open and I glared at him furiously.

"No, I expected you to mean everything you said."

Tears had gathered in my eyes, so I turned away from him. I turned my back on Sweeney, staring out the window.

"All of this meant nothing to you," I said. "This was just you trying to relive the past."

"Niamh."

"And now you've got what you want. You've got the perfect little wife and your daughter and your home but it just isn't good enough for you. Because I'm not Lucy and Robyn isn't Johanna."

"Niamh."

"I was such an idiot to actually think that you could love me."

"I do."

I turned around to face Sweeney, incredulous.

"No, you don't," I said. "If you really loved me, then you'd support my decision. You wouldn't be stuck in the past."

"You claim to love me," Sweeney said coolly. "And yet your head is still turned by other men."

I laughed without any humour, throwing my hands into the air.

"And that's what it all boils down to!" I cried. "Every time, Sweeney. I made a mistake and you forgave me!"

"Perhaps that was the wrong decision."

"And perhaps I should've just left you in that bakehouse to die."

I regretted the words the moment they escaped my mouth. The anger faded away as I covered my mouth, shocked at what I had just said.

Sweeney watched me coolly, but I didn't miss the subtle jerk of his head as I snapped. It was like I'd physically slapped him.

"I didn't mean that," I whispered shakily.

"Even lies have a hint of the truth." Sweeney looked away. "Perhaps you should've."

"No . . . "

"Would your life not be easier had you left me to die?" Sweeney asked.

"No."

"Surely it would. You could've married David. I'm sure he would've had no qualms of you doing what you intend to do."

"Stop it," I whispered.

But he didn't.

Instead, Sweeney walked forwards and continued to speak.

"In fact, I'm sure that once you have left this house, you can go to his." He stopped so he was standing over me. "After all, he was willing to pursue you when you were taken."

"Stop it."

"But perhaps the chase was part of the fun."

"_Stop it_!" I cried, slapping him as hard as I could.

He evidently wasn't expecting it, because Sweeney's head jerked to the side.

I gasped, stumbling backwards and staring at my hand.

I just slapped Sweeney.

I was like Jared.

Slowly, Sweeney turned to face me. I stared at him.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice shaking.

I was Jared. How many times did he hit me and then apologise?

Tears trickled down my cheeks at the revelation.

If the slap had hurt him, Sweeney didn't let on.

"You've become very volatile," he muttered.

"You pushed me too far," I said. "And so did Nellie that day, so don't you dare bring that up."

"Perhaps I should appeal for sole custody of Robyn."

I glared at him. "Don't you dare."

"You're volatile," Sweeney said. "You're prone to violent outbursts - "

"Says you!" I retorted furiously. "You are such a hypocrite, Sweeney Todd. You _murdered _people."

"They deserved to die."

"No, you were so driven by getting revenge that you forgot you were murdering _innocent _people. You try to take Robyn from me and I'll tell everyone."

Sweeney's eyes flashed. "They wouldn't believe me."

"You want to take the risk?"

Sweeney glared at me and I glared back at him.

We were very close.

"Go on," I whispered, daring him. "Walk away. Walk away from it all. You know you want to."

"I can't do that," Sweeney muttered.

"And why not?"

Rather than respond, Sweeney kissed me.

My lips moulded against his immediately, and I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer.

Without breaking the kiss, Sweeney and I stumbled upstairs. My back hit the soft mattress and he fell next to me.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, pulling away.

Instead of answering, I pulled him down and kissed him.

* * *

"You are still going to leave."

It was a statement, not a question, but I answered anyway.

"Yes."

I was sitting on the edge of our bed, slowly getting dressed. Behind me, Sweeney sat up.

"Why?"

"Just because we sleep together doesn't mean I'm instantly going to change my mind," I muttered, pulling my top on.

"Of course not," Sweeney muttered.

"Sex doesn't equal love, Sweeney."

"You would know."

I glared at him over my shoulder.

"That was uncalled for."

"Then don't leave."

I paused, looking away.

Sweeney's hand curling around mine made me look back at him.

Leaning forwards, I kissed him.

I pulled away, putting my hand on his cheek. He put his hand over mine.

"I have to," I whispered, pulling my hand away. Standing up, I walked out of the room and away from Sweeney.

* * *

Thank you Guest, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx , babyvfan and CadyD for reviewing! Hopefully this chapter makes up for the wait . . . college has been pretty hetic. I can't believe I've been there for a month now.

On a totally unrelated note, I've finally seen The Avengers. Is it just me who absolutely loves it?


	34. Go Your Own Way

_**Chapter Thirty Four  
**__**Go Your Own Way**_

_Calm down  
__Deep breaths  
__And get yourself dressed instead  
__Of running around  
__And pulling on your threads  
__And breaking yourself up_

_If it's a broken part, replace it  
__If it's a broken arm, then brace it  
__If it's a broken heart, then face it_

_And hold your own  
__Know your name  
__And go your own way  
__Hold your own  
__Know your name  
__And go your own way  
__~Details In The Fabric, Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison_

* * *

I was a cold, heartless bitch.

I was turning into my father.

My parents didn't love each other, not when I knew them. They must've loved each other at one point, because they got married and had five children together.

When I was a kid, I thought they were the perfect couple. It was Theo who pointed out how unhappy they were.

My Dad was an alcoholic who probably - I was too scared to to ask my mother if this was true - hit Mum. He loved the my brothers, Bronagh and I, but he didn't really _care _about us. The twins got in trouble with the police and I followed in Dad's example, beginning to drink at a very young age. But he didn't care.

Dad tore our family apart, and now I was doing the same.

It was like everything I touched broke.

Tears sprung to my eyes at the thought, but I blinked them away stubbornly. If I cried, I'd break down.

I spent my last night on the sofa, barely sleeping. When I slept, I had nightmares, so it was easier to just lie awake and pretend everything was alright. Anthony and Johanna arrived from their honeymoon that evening as well, which only made things harder.

I didn't want to go, not really.

I wanted to be on stage and perform. I wanted to be famous and have people know my name because I inspired them to also follow their dreams, but I wanted my husband and my daughter by my side. I wanted my family there with me.

My hands shook. Biting my bottom lip, I tightened my grip on the t-shirt I was holding.

I didn't want to leave.

My heart rate quickened as the familiar feeling of panic rose. I shut my eyes, forcing myself to breathe steadily. I wasn't going to have a panic attack.

When I finally calmed down - it took a long time - I sat down on the bed and looked at the piles of clothes in front of me.

Packing for Robyn had been easy, but my packing was . . . hard.

I picked up a jumper on the top of one of the piles and unfolded it. I sighed.

It was Sweeney's jumper.

I forgot it wasn't mine because I was so used to wearing it. It was both mine and his favourite jumper; I only really liked it so much because it smelled like him.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked up. Sweeney was lingering in the doorway.

I held up the jumper. "This is yours," I said feebly, holding it out to him. Sweeney hesitated.

"Keep it."

"I can't . . . "

"You were the one who paid for it. You might as well keep it."

It was my turn to hesitate before I slowly withdrew the hand holding out the jumper.

"Thank you," I mumbled, refolding the jumper and putting it into my suitcase.

Sweeney continued to stand in the doorway, watching me while I slowly transferred my clothes from the bed into my suitcase.

"When will I next see Robyn?" he asked me quietly.

"Whenever you want."

"That isn't helpful, Niamh."

"I know."

Looking up, I saw that Sweeney was glaring at me.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "Maybe you could come up this weekend?"

"Perhaps."

Sweeney had slowly crossed the room during this short conversation, and was now standing at the end of the bed. I looked up at him.

"Yes?" I asked.

He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again.

"Nothing," he muttered, turning away.

"No, wait." Sweeney looked at me. "Stay. Please."

I half expected him to scoff and walk away, so I was surprised when Sweeney sat on the bed next to me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Silence loomed over us as I packed and Sweeney watched. After a while, he got up from the bed and walked around it, towards the cardboard box at the end.

"What's that?" he asked, looking at it.

"Oh . . . just stuff I'm taking with me. Memories, y'know?"

Sweeney's eyes met mine, and he silently asked permission to look inside it. I gave a small nod, focusing on my packing.

Peeking out from underneath my hair, I watched Sweeney as he looked at the photos and other things I'd packed in the cardboard box. My marriage to Sweeney may not have been long, but it was something I wanted to remember.

"I thought you lost this."

I looked up and saw Sweeney holding up the toy wombat he'd brought me the day we went to the zoo. I smiled.

"Lost Frederick? No way."

Sweeney raised an eyebrow.

"Frederick," he repeated flatly.

"Yeah. You can't have a wombat without a name."

Sweeney shook his head. I jumped up and off the bed, snatching the toy wombat from him. I held it to my chest protectively.

"If you're going to mock Frederick, then you can just leave."

I looked up, realising just how close Sweeney and I were standing.

This time last year, I would've stood on my tiptoes and kissed him.

Now, I took a small step back.

"Not awkward," I mumbled, turning my back on him. "Not awkward if we don't let it be awkward."

Behind me, Sweeney sighed so quietly it was barely audible.

"We are both adults, Niamh," he said. "We do not need to be . . . awkward."

I'd spoken to my lawyer that morning. She was going to help draw up the divorce papers.

"I know." I determinedly didn't look at him, continuing to pack my suitcase. When it was finally done, I shut the lid and pushed down as I zipped it up. "Could you bring the box downstairs, please?"

"Of course."

I dragged the suitcase downstairs, wincing as it thudded against the stairs. Sweeney followed me.

Robyn was in the living room with Anthony and Johanna, probably making a mess, so I left them to it as I dragged my suitcase to my car. It was already full of my belongings, but I had just about enough room for my suitcase and the last cardboard box.

"Thanks," I said, taking the box from him. Our fingers brushed as I did so.

This was ridiculous.

We were married. We had a child together. We were acting like love-sick teenagers that had broken up after a two week romance.

Apparently Sweeney felt the same, because he turned away and stormed back into the house.

Slamming the car door shut, I sighed heavily and leaned against it.

Before he died, my grandfather told me that, at the end of your life, you regretted the things you didn't do rather than you did. I had a feeling that this would be one of those things.

But maybe I'd regret leaving Sweeney even more.

I groaned, running a hand through my hair.

"Why can't anything be simple?" I muttered to myself.

"Talking to yourself again, babe?"

I jumped at the sound of Theo's voice, turning around and grinning weakly at him.

"Hey," I said as he and Anna got out of Anna's car. They were going to follow me to my new flat and help me unpack.

"First sign of madness, that," Anna teased, and then wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "You alright?"

"As alright as I can be," I said.

"Come on," Theo said sympathetically, chucking me under the chin. I smiled. "You gotta put on your big girl pants and do this. This is your dream, remember?"

"I know," I said miserably. "It just sucks."

At that moment, Sweeney walked out of the house carrying Robyn. Anthony and Johanna followed him.

"Well," I said shakily. "This is goodbye."

Anthony stepped forwards and extended his hand.

"Good luck, Niamh," he said. Laughing, I pulled him into a tight hug.

"Look after Johanna," I whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek. "Enjoy married life, alright?"

Letting out a sob, Johanna flung her arms around me and hung onto me like a limpet. I hugged her back tightly, trying not to cry.

"You can come and visit any time," I promised, a few tears escaping. "You and Anthony are always welcome."

"Thank you," she sobbed. "Thank you for helping me and being the best step-mother I could ever wish for."

I laughed through my tears.

"You're welcome," I said.

When Johanna pulled away, I looked up at Sweeney. He was still clinging to Robyn.

Slowly, he handed Robyn to Anna. Without looking away from me, Sweeney stepped forwards.

"Goodbye," he said quietly.

"Bye," I whispered.

We both stared at each other for a moment. In a moment of stupidness, I held my hand out.

"It's . . . er . . . been good," I said awkwardly. Sweeney frowned.

"For God's sake, Niamh," Theo said from behind me. "Could you be any more of a tool?"

I blushed furiously.

"Shut your frickin' gob, Theo!" I snapped back.

Looking up at Sweeney, I let my hand drop to my side.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, so only he could hear me. "That things ended this way but . . . I love you. I always will."

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his cheek.

I turned away quickly so he wouldn't see the tears, sitting on the front seat of my car. Anna put Robyn in her car seat next to me.

I looked at Sweeney for a final time, tears trickling down my cheeks.

Wiping my cheeks, I started the engine and drove away.

Away from Sweeney.

To my future.

* * *

Thank you xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx , babyvfan and Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd for reviewing!


	35. We've Stepped Into A Cruel World

_**Chapter Thirty Five  
**__**We've Stepped Into A Cruel World**_

_Everybody's waiting  
Everybody's watching  
Even when you're sleeping  
Keep your ey-eyes open_

_The tricky thing_  
_Is yesterday we were just children_  
_Playing soldiers_  
_Just pretending_  
_Dreaming dreams with happy endings_  
_In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords_  
_But now we've stepped into a cruel world_  
_Where everybody stands and keeps score_  
_~Eyes Open, Taylor Swift_

* * *

I clung to the strap of my rucksack as I walked into the studio, intimidated by the people already there. They were gathered in small groups, talking and stretching. No one so much as glanced my way as I walked in, and I lingered in the doorway, feeling like a kid.

I had no idea what to do.

I hoped that someone would look up, maybe take pity on me, and help, but no such luck.

Just as I was about to finally ask someone for help, I heard my name called.

"Niamh!"

Dressed in a fitted blazer and matching skirt, Scarlett strode across the studio. She was smiling warmly at me, the first friendly face I'd seen since I dropped Robyn off at playgroup.

"Hi," I said, smiling widely at her. I was so relieved to see someone I knew, and smiling stopped me from flinging my arms around her and hugging her as tightly as I could.

"First day nerves?" she asked sympathetically.

"Just a few."

Her smile widened. "Don't worry, we're a friendly bunch. In fact - " Scarlett looked over her shoulder. "Ronnie!"

A woman who looked scarily like Scarlett broke away from a small group, gracefully crossing the studio and joining us. She smiled at me.

"Niamh, this is Ronnie. Ronnie, this is Niamh, our new recruit. Can you show her the locker room?"

"Sure." Ronnie had a nice, clear voice. "Come with me."

I followed Ronnie out of the studio and down a corridor, which split into two different rooms. Ronnie took me to the one on the left, which had several lockers and some pegs with clothes already hanging on them.

"This is where we come to get changed," Ronnie explained. "You can put your bag in one of the lockers, but no one is going to steal your stuff if you leave it out. Auntie Scarlett will make sure of that."

"Scarlett is your aunt?" I asked.

"Yeah. She was the one who got me into this group." She grimaced. "That sounds so bad."

"Don't worry, the director of my previous group was a family friend. Nepatism gets you everywhere."

Ronnie laughed. "I'll leave you to sort yourself out. You can find your way back alright?"

"I'm sure I will," I promised.

With one last grin, Ronnie practically danced out of the room. I envied her gracefulness.

Jeez, since when did I get so jealous?

Since Nellie's arrival in my life, I'd been degrading myself more and more. I was jealous of practically every woman I met for one reason or another.

Shaking my head, I quickly changed into a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a tank top. I gave my hair a quick brush, tying it back into a tight braid, and then slipped on my dance shoes.

I turned around and found myself face to face with a mirror.

I froze, taken by surprise, but then relaxed.

Taking a step forwards, I looked at my reflection.

I'd always been young looking without my make up, but now I looked postively babyish. I was pale and wide eyed, fearful or what awaited me outside this locker room. I'd lost weight from all the stress I'd been through, so I was skinnier than ever.

My gaze went down my chest, my lips curving down.

I had a little girl's chest. No, a little _boy's _chest.

Scowling, I turned my back on the mirror and strode out of the locker room.

Ronnie called me over when I walked into the studio, quickly introducing me to her friends. They were all very nice, smiling warmly and asking questions and giving me advice, but I still didn't feel confident.

We didn't talk for long; Scarlett called for everyone's attention.

The first thing we did was warm up. This included a lot of jumping, running and stretching.

Then we moved onto learning a new dance routine, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

The dances at Tim's theatre group had been rather easy and basic; they were quick to learn and easy to remember.

This, however, was completely different.

I found myself struggling to keep up, puzzled by the moves. I was out of time, messing up again and again.

"Ah!"

I bit my lip to stop myself from swearing as I clutched my ankle, tears of pain and humiliation springing to my eyes. I'd somehow tripped over, twisting my ankle in the process.

"Are you alright, Niamh?" Scarlett asked me, shooing everyone away as she knelt next to me.

"Yeah," I said through gritted teeth. "I'm fine."

Apparently Scarlett wasn't convinced; the theatre doctor came over to check my ankle.

"A mild sprain," he told me. "You ought to sit down."

"Or go home," Scarlett said.

"But - "

"There's no way you can do anything with a sprained ankle. You'll just make it worse."

My cheeks burned as Scarlett and the doctor helped me stand up; I could feel people staring at me. They watched me as I hobbled outside.

"Can you drive?" Scarlett asked me.

"Yep."

"Rest up a couple of days, alright? We can try again next week."

Scarlett waved me off as I drove away, wincing at the pain that shot through my ankle. I just hoped it would be alright by the time I went to pick up Robyn.

I hobbled up the stairs to my new apartment, unlocking the door and stumbling inside.

I fell onto my sofa, curling up and shutting my eyes.

Humiliation rolled over me like a tidal wave; I had made a complete fool of myself on my first day.

It was like secondary school all over again.

A few tears trickled down my cheeks, and I didn't wipe them away. Instead, I buried my face into a cushion.

I was an idiot.

I should've just stayed at home.

If I stayed at home, I'd be with people I knew and loved. I would be with Sweeney.

Moaning, I curled myself into a tighter ball, lifting the cushion and pulling it over my head.

Maybe I could just smother myself to death.

I had no idea that this theatre troupe would be so different from Tim's. This one was far more demanding and strenuous; people were there because they wanted to be on stage, not because it was a bit of fun or a hobby. They were totally serious about it.

And I thought I was until today.

"I'm an idiot," I muttered.

* * *

Not my best chapter but still . . .

Anyway, thank you xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx , babyvfan and Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd for reviewing!


	36. It's Unescapable

_**Chapter Thirty Six**_  
_**It's Unescapable**_

_It's too late, there is no way around it_  
_You will see for yourself many times_  
_In the end you will give up the fight_  
_It's unescapable_

_'Cause you're losing your mind and you sleep_  
_In the heart of the lies_

_Where is the edge_  
_Of your darkest emotions?_  
_Why does it all survive?_  
_~Where Is The Edge?, Within Temptation_

* * *

"Robyn, I swear to God if you don't calm down I am going to smack you nine ways to Sunday!" I yelled.

It was our first proper Saturday in the new apartment, and I was trying to actually sort a few things out. I still had some unpacking to do and my ankle still hurt like a bitch. Robyn, being the little horror that she was, was playing up because we couldn't go out to the park like she wanted

"No, no, no!" she yelled back, having discovered her new favourite word.

I scowled, but didn't bother arguing with her.

There was a loud crash, followed by Robyn's hysterical giggle. Letting out a heavy sigh, I dropped the pile of clothes I was holding and stormed into the kitchen.

"Robyn! What the hell?"

Robyn had somehow ripped the cardboard box that held the pots and pans, meaning they were now scattered on the floor.

"Why would you do that?" I demanded furiously, snatching two up and slamming them down on the counter. Still giggling, Robyn grabbed one and ran away with it on her head.

I rolled my eyes.

"Robyn, come back."

"No!"

I'd barely slept that night, so I was in no mood for playing games. I walked around the counter, which divided the kitchen and living room, to take the pan from Robyn. She ran away, hiding behind the sofa.

Scowling, I walked around the sofa. She ran around it.

I sighed heavily, straightening up and giving Robyn the best unimpressed look I could muster, which wasn't hard.

"Robyn," I said slowly. "This is your warning. Give me the pan or I will put you in the naughty corner."

"No, Mummy, no!" she yelled, still grinning widely.

When I took a step towards her, Robyn took off and ran to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

I tried to open it, but she must've been sitting in front of it. She started bashing the pan against the floor.

"Robyn Johanna Todd," I yelled over the noise. "You open this door right now!"

Robyn started shouting 'no' over and over again in time to her hitting the pan, like a mad war chant. I let out an angry noise, my head hitting the door.

I really didn't have the patience for this.

There was a knock at the front door.

"You hear that?" I asked Robyn, walking away. "That's the police, coming to take away naughty little girls that don't listen to their mums!"

"_No_!" Robyn wailed, yanking the door open and charging after me. She clung to my legs, wailing and crying hysterically as she begged me not to let the police take her away.

Whoever was at the door knocked again, louder this time.

"Coming," I called, picking Robyn up off the floor. I tried to put her down on her feet, but she made such a fuss that I had no choice other than to pick her up and balance her on my hip.

I opened the door and almost cried with relief.

"Surprise," Nellie said cheerily. "'Ello, love."

Seeing it was only Nellie, Robyn calmed down immediately. In fact, she started making a fuss, kicking me and reaching out to Nellie.

"Oh, 'ello, Robyn," Nellie said, taking Robyn from me. "Is everything alright?" she asked me.

"She is driving me nuts."

"Sounds like I should come in."

"Please, do."

I moved to the side so Nellie could come in. Still holding Robyn, who was calm and looked like the perfect picture of innocence, she looked around.

"You 'aven't unpacked properly, then."

"I haven't had the chance. I sprained my ankle and I can't go back to the studio until next week because of it and she - " I glared at Robyn, who giggled and hid her face in Nellie's shoulder. " - is being a pain in the arse today."

"No, this little angel," Nellie said fondly, brushing Robyn's hair behind her ear. "I don't believe it."

"You don't know her like I do."

Nellie laughed, sitting down on the sofa. Robyn clambered on her lap, chatting happily while playing with Nellie's hair.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked.

"Yes, ta."

I made Nellie and I coffee, glaring at Robyn while she cuddled up to Nellie. She was a little monster when she was with me, but the moment we had company . . .

I scowled, shaking my head.

"Are you alright, love?"

"I had hardly any sleep," I moaned, giving Nellie her mug and sitting on the armchair opposite her. "I don't know if I can do this anymore, Nellie."

"Do what?"

"This." I made a wild hand gesture. "Be a mum and a performer. I can't do them both."

"So . . . what? You planning on giving up the performing."

I looked away.

"Niamh!" Nellie gasped, gently pushing Robyn off her lap and onto the sofa as she leaned forwards. "Do not tell me you're thinking what I think you're thinking."

"She's better off with Sweeney," I mumbled, bringing my legs up to my knees and curling up.

"You don't mean that." Nellie frowned. "You're just 'aving a bad day. Everyone 'as them."

"How do you know?" I snapped. "You're not a mum. You never were, not really."

Nellie sighed softly and looked down at her mug. I immediately felt guilty.

"I'm sorry . . . "

"No, it's alright, love. You're stressed."

"Please don't make excuses for me," I pleaded, running a hand through my hair. "I'm a bitch."

"Well, I ain't gonna disagree," Nellie said. I smiled weakly as she grinned at me. "But isn't every woman at one point in their life?"

"It just feels like I've been one more than ever."

"What do you mean?"

At first, I didn't answer. I could feel Nellie's eyes on me, waiting patiently.

"Before I left . . . " I hesitated slightly. "Sweeney and I slept together."

"What's wrong with that? You're married, ain't you?"

"He asked me to stay."

"Oh, love," Nellie said softly.

"I just think . . . Robyn would be better off with her dad. It's her home, Nellie. She'll be with people she knows."

"She needs to be with you, Niamh. You're 'er mum."

"I threatened to slap her earlier," I said, close to tears. Nellie snorted.

"My mum threatened to 'it me at least three times a day," she retorted. "And most of the time she actually did. Believe me, love, it ain't that bad."

"I can't do this, Nellie," I said desperately, a few tears escaping and rolling down my cheeks. "I can't look after her. I'm just going to end up hurting her."

"You don't know that."

"_Yes I do_!"

Nellie stared at me.

Taking in a heavy, shaky breath, I ran a hand through my hair and put my mug down on the coffee table in front of me. I stared at it.

"Everything I touch I break," I said slowly. "Everyone I love just ends up getting hurt. I love Sweeney, but I _hit_ him, Nellie. I _slapped_ Sweeney like Jared used to hit me. What if I do that to Robyn?"

"You won't."

"How do you know?" I looked up at her. "I've hit Sweeney. I've hit you. What happens when I loose control and Robyn is there? Am I going to slap her just because she's there?"

"You love 'er, Niamh. You wouldn't 'urt 'er."

I sighed. "Sometimes love isn't enough, Nellie."

"So what are you going to do?"

I shut my eyes, clasping my hands together as I ducked my head.

Opening my eyes, I looked up at her.

"I'm going to call Sweeney," I said. "And I'm going to tell him that Robyn is going to live with him from now on."

* * *

Thank you Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and CadyD for reviewing!

I'm thinking of starting a Loki/OC fic for the Avengers fandom . . . my new obsession. Thoughts/opinions, please? Would anyone be interested?


	37. So I Can Keep You Safe

_**Chapter Thirty Seven  
**__**So I Can Keep You Safe**_

_You are my one and only.  
__You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
__Oh, you are my one and only.  
__You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
__And you'll be alright._

_You can lie with me,  
__With your tiny feet  
__When you're half asleep,  
__I'll leave you be.  
__Right in front of me  
__For a couple weeks  
__So I can keep you safe.  
~Small Bump, Ed Sheeran_

* * *

I sat in the armchair.

I regretted my decision to give Sweeney full custody of Robyn almost immediately, but I couldn't keep her. I loved my daughter more than anything in the whole world. I didn't even know I was capable of this sort of love until I held her in my arms, but I refused to let myself hurt her.

It was dark outside. Sweeney wasn't due until the morning, but I couldn't sleep. Not now I knew I was letting Robyn go.

I wrote her a letter, something she could read when she was old enough to truly understand everything. I didn't want her to think that I didn't love her or want her.

The letter was in her bag, her name written on the envelope. I just hoped that Sweeney would give it to her.

I'd visit her as often as I could, of course, and I'd make sure that she knew I loved her more than anything in the world. I'd take her on day trips and out for lunch and she'd come and stay with me at weekends. I'd be there on every birthday and Christmas.

But it wasn't going to be the same.

I looked up at the sound of feet against the floor, jumping when I saw Robyn standing in the doorway. Her hair was sticking up in all directions and she was dragging her duvet along the ground with both hands, looking up at me almost guiltily.

I smiled.

"Hey, baby," I said softly. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep," she mumbled.

"Do you want to come sit with me?" I asked, opening my arms. Nodding, Robyn dragged her duvet across the living room and then lifted her arms, asking to be picked up. I did, wrapping us both us in the duvet.

Yawning, Robyn cuddled into me, her eyes barely open. I smiled, kissing the top of her head.

For a long time, Robyn and I simply sat. My arms were around her and her fingers were wrapped around my hands, both of us holding onto each other like we couldn't bear to let go.

A few tears gathered in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. Looking up, Robyn frowned.

"No cry," she ordered sternly, and I forced myself to smile.

"Sorry." Unhooking my hand from her grip, I wiped the tears away. "See, no more crying?"

Robyn didn't look convinced. Releasing my hands, she hooked her arms around my neck and hugged me.

I hugged her back, holding her as tight as I could.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing her. "I love you, Robyn Johanna Todd."

"Love you," she told me. I smiled.

"How much?"

"_This_ much!" Robyn cried, stretching her arms out as far as she could. I tickled her, making her squeal.

Her laughter was infectious, and soon I was laughing as well. It took us both a long time to calm down, and when we did, I pulled Robyn back onto my lap.

"Are you looking forwards to seeing Daddy?" I asked, and she nodded silently, now sucking her thumb. "Well, you're going to live with Daddy for a while."

"Forever and ever?"

I smiled sadly. "Maybe."

"Mummy live with us?" she asked.

"No, darling, I'm not going to live with you."

"Why?"

I paused, blinking away the tears that were gathering in my eyes again.

"Because," I began, choosing my words carefully. "Mummy and Daddy don't love each other anymore."

"Wanna stay here," Robyn mumbled, burying her face into my shoulder. I shut my eyes.

"And I want you to stay here as well," I said. "But Mummy is always so busy. Daddy will look after you though."

Robyn didn't say anything, her face still buried in my shoulder. I hugged her as tightly as I could.

"_Nothing's gonna harm you,_" I sung gently, soothing Robyn. "_Not while I'm around. Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around . . . _"

Robyn drifted off to sleep, her hands still clinging onto me. Kissing her forehead, I shut my eyes.

Before long, exhaustion rolled over me like a tidal wave and I also fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up early the next day and carefully took Robyn back to her room, putting her down in her bed. While she slept, I had a long hot shower and got dressed, trying to make myself look decent.

Robyn's bags were already packed, so I just had to wait.

Robyn woke up shortly after me, demanding use of the toilet, breakfast and a cuddle. When these needs were attended to, she was in a much better mood.

Sitting at the table, I listened to her chatter and watched her as she ate rather messily. I didn't scold her, though. There was no point.

Instead, I just watched her.

She was so beautiful.

Maybe it was because I was her mother and that therefore made me biased, but I really thought Robyn was beautiful. Her black hair contrasted with her pale skin, thick eyelashes framing her large blue eyes. Her grin was wide and infectious and made her whole face light up like the stars.

She was a perfect mix of Sweeney and I, and I was certain she was going to be stunning when she grew up.

When she finished her breakfast, I washed her face and helped her dress. I brushed her unruly hair and tied her shoelaces and then sat her in front of the TV, which would keep her occupied until Sweeney arrived.

I was so busy watching my daughter that I jumped when there was a knock at the door.

Taking in a deep breath, I opened the door.

Seeing Sweeney was like a punch in the face. I took a moment to take in his face, staring at him, before forcing myself to smile.

"Hi," I said. "Do you want to come in?"

Silent, Sweeney nodded and followed me inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Daddy!"

Seeing him, Robyn jumped off the sofa and hurtled across the floor. Sweeney picked her up, swinging her around, and hugged her.

"Are her belongings packed?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, gesturing towards her bag. Putting Robyn down on the floor, Sweeney picked it up. "Do you need a lift home?" I asked.

"I have a taxi waiting outside."

"Oh, right."

Looking away, I smiled at Robyn and picked her up, hugging her.

"Be good for Daddy," I said, kissing her. "I'll come and see you soon."

Sweeney snorted.

"What?"

"Is it fair to make her promises you will not keep?" he asked loftily, and I glared at him. It took me a great effort not to snap at him, because I refused to fight with him in front of Robyn.

"I love you," I told Robyn, giving her a final hug and kiss.

"Love you," she replied solemnly, hugging me back. I forced myself to release her, handing her to Sweeney.

"Bye," I said, waving. Robyn waved at me over Sweeney's shoulder as he walked away, saying nothing.

I shut the door.

Leaning against it, I began to cry.

* * *

Thank you Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing!

I have started an Avengers fic called Forget About The Sunshine, so any reviews and opinions on that would be very much appreciated. Unfortunately, The Unbecoming of Lucy Moon will be on a (hopefully) temporary hiatus.


	38. Angels To Die

_**Chapter Thirty Eight  
Angels To Die**_

_White lips, pale face_

_Breathing in snowflakes_

_Burnt lungs, sour taste_

_Light's gone, day's end_

_Struggling to pay rent_

_Long nights, strange men_

Dear diary . . .

I feel really stupid, writing in a book like this, but apparently it really helps to put your feelings into writing. So this is my rather crap attempt at doing that.

Right now, I feel stupid.

* * *

_And they say_

_She's in the Class A Team_

_Stuck in her daydream_

_Been this way since 18_

Dear diary,

I dyed my hair blonde today.

I thought it would be a good idea because I heard about an audition for _Grease. _After playing Audrey in _Little Shop of Horrors, _I thought that audition would be so unbelievably easy.

I was so wrong.

Here's a list of reasons my audition sucked:

I woke up late, so I was one of last girls to audition.

I didn't have time to warm up my voice so my vocals were awful.

I kept squinting because of the ridiculously bright lights.

I forgot the words halfway through my song.

I tripped over my own feet as I was leaving the stage.

All I've ever wanted to be is a performer, and now I've finally moved up in the world, it just seems to be going wrong.

* * *

_But lately her face seems_

_Slowly sinking, wasting_

_Crumbling like pastries_

_And they scream_

_The worst things in life come free to us_

_Cause we're just under the upper hand_

_And go mad for a couple of grams_

Dear diary,

I looked in the mirror today. Big mistake.

I look like shit.

My hair's really thin from the hair dye and I'm practically malting. I keep finding chunks of wispy blonde hair on my pillow and it's because of them that I'm too scared to redye my hair ginger.

My face . . . ugh. The less said the better. Seriously, I looked like death warmed up.

And I've got a big spot on my nose. I've tried everything, but I can't get rid of it.

Why are all the bad things happening _now?_

* * *

_And she don't want to go outside tonight_

_And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland_

_Or sells love to another man_

_It's too cold outside_

_For angels to fly_

_Angels to fly_

Dear diary,

Nellie came round today for lunch. It was nice to have some company other than the snotty people at the drama group . . .

Anyway, she told me that Sweeney, Anthony and Johanna took Robyn to the beach and she went with them. She had loads of photos to show me, but the ones I was interested in were mostly the ones of Robyn.

And then I found the one of Sweeney and Nellie.

They were just sitting next to each other on the towels, not even looking at each other. They weren't touching or anything, but seeing the photo of those two made my fists clench.

I hated the way Nellie looked so happy.

It should've been me in that photo.

I should've been the one who chased Robyn along the beach and made sandcastles with her. It should've been me dangling her feet in the sea and showing her the pretty stones.

Not Nellie.

She hasn't come back since then.

* * *

_Ripped gloves, raincoat_

_Tried to swim and stay afloat_

_Dry house, wet clothes_

_Loose change, bank notes_

_Weary-eyed, dry throat_

_Call girl, no phone_

Dear diary,

Someone slashed my tyres today.

All four of them.

I had to walk to the theatre, so I was an hour late and missed most of the rehearsal.

I'm so _tired._

I'm barely sleeping now; the noises are awful. I can hear people out on the street, screaming and shouting, fighting like wild cats. I can hear every insult and nasty word said. I can hear people slapping and punching and kicking.

I try to drown it out sometimes with my Ipod, but then it ran out of battery and I can't find my charger.

So now I just have to listen.

The sad thing is . . . I'm kinda used to it.

* * *

_And they say_

_She's in the Class A Team_

_Stuck in her daydream_

_Been this way since 18_

_But lately her face seems_

_Slowly sinking, wasting_

_Crumbling like pastries_

_And they scream_

_The worst things in life come free to us_

_Cause we're just under the upper hand_

_And go mad for a couple of grams_

Dear diary,

It's hard to write this because the only light I have is a candle and my hand is shaking I'm so cold. I didn't pay my gas or electric bills so they cut me off.

If I pay them, I probably can't eat for the rest of the month. Then again, all I've had to eat this evening is a sandwich and packet of crisps because that's all I could afford from the corner shop today.

* * *

_And she don't want to go outside tonight_

_And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland_

_Or sells love to another man_

_It's too cold outside_

_For angels to fly_

_An angel will die_

_Covered in white_

_Closed eye_

_And hoping for a better life_

_This time, we'll fade out tonight_

_Straight down the line_

Dear diary,

I'm so tired.

* * *

_And they say_

_She's in the Class A Team_

_Stuck in her daydream_

_Been this way since 18_

_But lately her face seems_

_Slowly sinking, wasting_

_Crumbling like pastries_

_They scream_

_The worst things in life come free to us_

_And we're all under the upper hand_

_Go mad for a couple of grams_

Dear diary,

Ok, I've learned my lesson.

I'm an idiot.

I should've never left Sweeney or given Robyn up or done any of the thousands of things I've done wrong.

I should've stayed at home with my husband and my daughter and my step daughter and her husband and my best friends and David and Tim and Helena and all those people I know and love and who know and love me in return. I should've stayed where I belonged, because no dream is worth pursuing without my friends and family.

I'm selfish. I know that now. I put my dreams before the people I love and I regret it more than anything in the whole world.

So, please . . . God, if you really are there, I'm sorry.

I really really really am sorry.

* * *

_And we don't want to go outside tonight_

_And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland_

_Or sell love to another man_

_It's too cold outside_

_For angels to fly_

_Angels to fly_

_Fly, fly_

_For angels to fly_

_To fly, to fly_

Dear diary,

. . . there are no words to describe how awful I feel.

* * *

_Or angels to die _

Dear diary,

I want to go home.

* * *

~The A Team, Ed Sheeran

Thank you babyvfan, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and filmgirl13 - welcome back!


	39. Be Done With My Life

_**Chapter Thirty Nine  
**__**Be Done With My Life**_

_On my last night on earth, I won't look to the sky  
__Just breathe in the air and blink in the light  
__On my last night on earth, I'll pay a high price  
__To have no regrets and be done with my life  
~L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N, Noah and the Whale_

* * *

Tears were streaming down my face as I hurridedly packed my bag, not bothering to fold my clothes as I shoved them in. I had no time to care about the state of my belongings.

I was going home.

I was going to swallow my pride and tell Sweeney that I still loved him more than anything in the entire world. I was going to be a proper wife and a proper Mum and stay with my family.

I was so excited, but so scared at the same time.

What if he rejected me?

What if Sweeney actually hated me so much that he told me where to stick my apologies and slammed the door on my face?

I froze, holding a t-shirt.

Biting my lip, I slowly put the t-shirt into the bag and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

Would Sweeney still want me? Did he still love me as much as I loved him?

Maybe I was being an idiot and rushing into things. I needed to think before I made my decision, something I'd never been too good at . . .

I ran a hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ears as I turned my back on the bag, staring into my mirror.

"What should I do?" I asked my reflection.

Of course, I recieved no response; I simply stared back at myself helplessly.

I wanted to go home, more than anything.

Slowly, I looked at the picture on my bedside table. It was of Sweeney, Robyn and I, looking like a proper family. I was grinning like an idiot and Sweeney's lips were tilted into that crooked half smile of his I loved so much.

If I didn't go home now, then I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

Tears filled my eyes once again - I was so emotional! - and spilled onto my cheeks as I picked up the picture, smiling at it.

"I'm coming home," I whispered to it, hugging it close to my chest.

Even if Sweeney didn't love me, I'd be there for Anthony and Johanna. I'd be there for my daughter, to watch her grow up into the beautiful woman I knew she'd become.

Beaming ridiculously, I placed the picture carefully in my bag, tucking it between a couple of t-shirts, and zipped the bag up.

I was going home.

The thought repeated itself over and over again as I picked up my bag and practically bounded out of the apartment. I'd get my furniture later on, because right now, I was going home!

I had to stop myself from laughing hysterically as I unlocked my car and threw my bag into the back seat.

Sitting down behind the wheel, I leaned back and sighed happily.

"I'm going home."

Taking my keys out of my pocket, I started the engine and started my journey home.

It was so late that the streets were practically empty. Paying no attention to the limit, I sped down the streets, excited that I was going home. I was even wearing a seatbelt.

It sounded so right that I repeated it over and over again. Home. With Sweeney and Robyn.

Reaching forwards, I took my eyes off the road for a second to turn on the radio. I needed music.

I looked up, gasping when I saw someone run out into the road. Panicking, I quickly swerved out of the way -

The car lost control -

It screeched and spun -

I was driving towards a building -

I screamed, unable to gain control, as the car drove straight into a corner shop, twisting and turning and spinning. Pain shot through my body at a rapid speed as I was thrown around, smashing into the glass of the windscreen and landing on my back.

I couldn't stop screaming.

I could feel myself thrown forwards, straight through the glass. It tore through my skin, but I barely noticed as I landed on the bonnet of the car.

The last thing I remembered was the pain.

And then everything went black.

* * *

"Can you hear me?"

My eyes flickered open, and instantly pain shot through me. I cried out, hysterical tears streaming down my cheeks.

"What happened?"

"You were in a nasty accident, love, but we're going to get you out of here? What's your name, dear?"

"Niamh," I wailed, still crying.

I was in so much pain.

"Ok, Niamh, we're going to need you to just hang in there. We're going as fast as we can."

"Where's Sweeney?" I begged. "I want Sweeney."

"Someone's ringing your family as we speak."

"I want Sweeney . . . "

I screamed as pain shot through my again, squeezing my eyes shut and letting out a noise that sounded like a wounded animal. Dark spots were beginning to invade my vision, my eyelids feeling heavier as I struggled to keep them open.

"Niamh, keep your eyes open, ok, darling?"

"I can't . . . "

"Yes, you can. You've got so many people waiting for at home right now. You're going to go home and see them."

I shook my head, whimpering pathetically. I couldn't breathe.

_I'm so sorry, Sweeney, _I thought. _I love you, I love you, I love. _

"Will you tell Sweeney that I love him?" I pleaded. "And Robyn? Tell them . . . all . . . tell them all I love them all so much . . . "

My eyes were closing.

"You can tell them yourself when you see them."

"No . . . " I whispered. "I won't see them . . . "

"You will if you just keep your eyes open and trust us. We're going to get you out of here."

My eyes slid shut.

_Sweeney . . . Robyn . . . I love you._

* * *

_ACTRESS KILLED IN TRAGIC ACCIDENT._

_Niamh Todd, 23, was killed last night in a tragic car accident. Known for her extensive work on stage, Niamh was reported as speeding and drove into a building after swerving to avoid a pedestrian (who preferred to remain anonymous) crossing the road. The pedestrian is currently being held under questioning for their involvement in the accident._

_Niamh left behind a large family, her husband, Sweeney Todd, and her only daughter, Robyn. _

_A private funeral will be held later this month. _

* * *

_Thank you babyvfan, Sykverfire-Lilithe-Todd and xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx for reviewing. There will be one more chapter before this fic is complete. _


	40. I Am In The Dark Beside You

_**Chapter Fourty  
**__**I Am In The Dark Beside You**_

_I am in the dark beside you  
__~Johanna, Sweeney Todd soundtrack_

* * *

_10 years later . . . _

The sun shone high in the sky, streaming through the canopy of leaves. The tree leaned over the fence, like a collapsing tower, and sheltered the gravestone beneath. It's engraving was subtly illuminated by the sun's rays, the shadow hidden in the darkness surrounding it.

The young girl sat cross legged in front of the gravestone, her pale face solemn as she gazed at it. Her hands were intertwined, resting on her lap, and her dark hair tumbled over her shoulder.

In front of her was a bunch of flowers, bright sunflowers arranged in a green vase.

Green was, after all, her mother's favourite colour.

A photo had been placed in front of the grave, preserved in the frame that held it. Her mother's face beamed at her through the glass, her eyes shining and her cheeks tinged pink with excitement. She looked like she was laughing.

The girl smiled. She could remember her mother's laugh.

There weren't many things she could remember, as her mother passed away when she was only a year old, but there were certain things she couldn't forget.

Like the song her mother would sing each night to send her to sleep, or the musky scent of her favourite perfume, or the necklace she always wore. She was wearing it when she died.

A hand raised to her collarbone, where the necklace rested. Her father gave to her for her birthday, muttering that her mother would've wanted her to have it.

It had taken several years for her to come to grips with the death of her mother, despite being so young when it happened. Over the years, she collected photographs and her belongings, slowly piecing them together like a jigsaw. She visited all her mother's favourite places, like Camden Market or the pub, and spoke to all her friends.

Some had been more helpful than others.

Her best friends, Uncle Theo and Aunt Anna, were more than willing to share their memories with her. They kept her in fits of hysterics with some of the stories they shared, like the time her mother flashed at a police officer as they drove past.

Her grandmother, however, was more reluctant. The death of her daughter effected her greatly, and if it hadn't been for the support of her family, then she probably wouldn't have carried on.

Her sister - or half sister, depending on how you looked at it - gave as much information as she possibly could, forever apologising that she didn't know her mother very well.

Tim and Helena were the most helpful, as they'd known Niamh the longest (disregarding her mother, of course). They were like parents to her mother, and so became adoptive grandparents to her.

People said she looked like her mother, a compliment she accepted with great pride.

It was her smile, they said. She had a bright smile that could light up the room, just like Niamh's. Her eyes, as well, were the same colour, an awkward mix that wasn't quite blue nor was it quite green.

And her mannerisms.

She ran her hand through her hair a lot. She was a show off. She could even slip into an Irish accent with natural ease should she want to.

Sometimes, just sometimes, she caught her father staring at her with an odd expression. Every time she did, however, he simply looked away.

She never asked him why he stared at her like that.

She could hear foosteps behind her, slowly approaching her. She didn't need to look around to see who it was.

"Robyn."

Slowly, she looked up.

"Hi, Dad," she said softly, grinning at him.

Sweeney Todd stood over his daughter, frowning. His eyes sought the photo of his dead wife.

"You should have waited for me at the school," he said quietly, though he wasn't really scolding her.

"Sorry," Robyn mumbled, standing up.

Though she was tall for an eleven year old, Robyn was dwarfed by her father's height. She glanced up at him, but he continued to stare at the photo.

Even as a child, Robyn never asked Sweeney questions about her mother's death.

She talked to her closest friends, Will and Vicky, about it once. "Do you think it hurt?" she'd asked them.

"She drove into a bloody building, Robyn, of course it hurt," Vicky had responded with a loud snort, rolling her eyes as she bit into a slice of pizza. That ended the conversation.

Silently, Robyn weaved her hand into Sweeney's.

"Are you alright?" she asked him quietly, looking up at him again. Slowly, he nodded.

"Are you?" He looked down at her, his eyes filled with genuine fatherly concern. Over the years, Sweeney had been the best father he possibly could, to both his daughters.

"Yeah."

They stood in silence for a minute longer, their heads bowed in private mourning. It was a private, vulnerable moment for them both, in which they allowed themselves to be submerged in the hurt and pain they supressed in public. They shared the trait of refusing to show their emotions, but rather to hide behind a blank mask.

Finally, Robyn broke the silence.

"Dad."

"Yes?"

With a small smile, Robyn squeezed Sweeney's hand.

"Let's go home."

* * *

_Robyn,_

_I'm writing this letter to explain._

_I love you. I love you more than anyone I have ever loved before. I had no idea I was capable of this sort of love until I had you, and I hope that you'll one day understand what I mean._

_I've only ever wanted the best for you. I couldn't put you in danger, which was why I decided to place you in the care of your father._

_Never think that I didn't want you, but I wanted you so, so much. I'll understand if you're angry, but please believe me when I say that it was all for you. Everything I did was for you, because I just love you so much._

_I can't say anything more, so let me just remind you:_

_Robyn Johanna Todd, never forget that you are safe, you are loved and you are wanted. There is not one person in our family that would let anything harm you. We love you and we are always with you, even if you can't see us. No matter what, we love you. Especially me. _

_All my love,_

_Mum. _

* * *

_Thank you filmgrl13, Sylverfire-Lilithe-Todd, babyvfan, xXFivexMinutesxToxMidnightXx and CadyD for reviewing. Thank you to everyone else that has supported me in this rewrite, whether that be through reviewing, favouriting or keeping track of this fic. I cannot tell you how appreciative I am._

_I have no immediate plans to write an official sequel to In The Dark Beside You, but I may write related one shots in the near future. The Unbecoming of Lucy Moon is still on temporary hiatus, so I shall be focusing on A Child of the Revolution (Moulin Rouge) and Fallen Star (Avengers - Forget About The Sunshine has been removed and is undergoing a rewrite)._

_Once again, thank you everyone for the support. _


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